God's greatest joke - when humans make plans
So I am getting an Associate's Degree in Radio Broadcasting. I start in March, I am going to quit my job so I can have evenings for school, applying for jobs I can do during the day and I have been looking at places for me and Aaron to live.
And he is going to bail on me. AGAIN.
WTF?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Once I start to get comfortable, everyone else is moving on. I ALWAYS go out of my way for people and expect others to do the same. Just go ahead and change your mind and run off to do your own thing while I have to struggle. YET. AGAIN.
I hate that I am still not over the memory of Alex. And how fantastic he was in my life. I mourn him. I am completely over the jackass who dumped me and is now seeing a slut named Melissa in Dallas. I still miss his presence and the little things he did to make the everyday romantic.
Hell. Let's face it. I hate being alone, in general. I can't say what I want to say out of fear of rejection and isolation.
I don't want to go back to living with mom. She keeps treating me like I am a fragile doll that can break at any second. I would lose any sense of independence, and most importantly, I would lose my mind.
I want to yell at Teddy but there are so many times that he is sweet and reminds me of the awesome friend he really is. I want to keep this friendship but I would rather stick my whole head in a hornet's nest than share a living space with him.
It would be really cool to live at my sister's. If the girls wanted to share a room, which they end up doing sometimes, I would take one of theirs and pay some rent. That would actually be really fun. But it is far from everything and everyone. And I doubt that it will happen.
Aaron, if you read any of this, yes I am being passive aggressive and not telling you this but if I actually say it out loud, you will not like me anymore and I need you in my life. GROW THE FUCK UP AND REALIZE THAT WE HAVE ENOUGH MONEY AND RESOURCES TO SHARE A PLACE SO STOP MAKING LIFE DIFFICULT OR YOU ARE NO BETTER THAN TEDDY
And he is going to bail on me. AGAIN.
WTF?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Once I start to get comfortable, everyone else is moving on. I ALWAYS go out of my way for people and expect others to do the same. Just go ahead and change your mind and run off to do your own thing while I have to struggle. YET. AGAIN.
I hate that I am still not over the memory of Alex. And how fantastic he was in my life. I mourn him. I am completely over the jackass who dumped me and is now seeing a slut named Melissa in Dallas. I still miss his presence and the little things he did to make the everyday romantic.
Hell. Let's face it. I hate being alone, in general. I can't say what I want to say out of fear of rejection and isolation.
I don't want to go back to living with mom. She keeps treating me like I am a fragile doll that can break at any second. I would lose any sense of independence, and most importantly, I would lose my mind.
I want to yell at Teddy but there are so many times that he is sweet and reminds me of the awesome friend he really is. I want to keep this friendship but I would rather stick my whole head in a hornet's nest than share a living space with him.
It would be really cool to live at my sister's. If the girls wanted to share a room, which they end up doing sometimes, I would take one of theirs and pay some rent. That would actually be really fun. But it is far from everything and everyone. And I doubt that it will happen.
Aaron, if you read any of this, yes I am being passive aggressive and not telling you this but if I actually say it out loud, you will not like me anymore and I need you in my life. GROW THE FUCK UP AND REALIZE THAT WE HAVE ENOUGH MONEY AND RESOURCES TO SHARE A PLACE SO STOP MAKING LIFE DIFFICULT OR YOU ARE NO BETTER THAN TEDDY