4x15: the head, the tale, the whole damn episode.
4x15: the head, the tale, the whole damn episode.
Burton Guster
Claims to have been hardened because “I’ve seen it all.” Wants Shawn to call him Guts, then Ironsides, but then settles for Old Iron Stomach.
Has to explain Lassiter’s remarks about Shawn and Henry because Shawn can’t tell if he should be insulted.
Is called a retching pantywaist by Turner.
Gets grossed out by the dismembered leg of the victim with its massive tissue loss.
Knows what ichthyology is.
Knows what a galeocerdo cuvier is. (Tiger shark)
Uses the supersniffer to lead them to the shark body while Shawn pretends to be leading them psychically.
Points out to Lassiter that equating loose ends with foul play is how Psych has stayed in business the past four years.
Says having a gag reflex means he’s highly evolved. Says he did some research on it.
Has to get his numbers up at his pharmaceutical job because they haven’t had a paying Psych client in three weeks.
Says he would have guessed the dead body was the result of an ape attack. Shawn points out that it’s never an ape attack and Gus responds, “Oh, it will be. Mark my words.”
Thought White Chicks was hilarious.
Wants to gag at the sight of the shark-eaten body but holds back because Shawn is watching him and slapping his stomach. Later tries to pretend he’s not alarmed by the victim’s lack of hands.
Henry Spencer
Asks Lassiter what the hell he knows about being a father.
Casually slips mention of his divorce into his talk with Dr. Kimberley Phoenix. Later brings her a cup of coffee.
Claims that he and his friends are going Marlin hunting, not shark hunting, they just caught a shark by accident.
Claims he dropped his cellphone in the water and couldn’t call Lassiter
Defends the size of the shark (That is not a little guy) and Dr. Phoenix makes it into a sexual innuendo.
Doesn’t have a key to the psych office.
Doubts that Lassiter’s shark case really is a murder investigation.
Found it difficult to be sympathetic to Shawn’s fear of sharks when Jaws 4 was such a terrible sequel.
Is impressed by the $50,000 reward. Says the shark was going to pay for his new roof.
Is offended when Shawn pretends to be a psychic to him.
Lassiter calls Henry self-righteous.
Says he tried not to call Lassiter “detective Dipstick” but it he can’t help it, “it just rolls off the tongue.”
Says he’s a fisherman at heart, there’s a lot of Marlin out there, and Dr. Phoenix could lead him to them.
Carlton Lassiter
Examines the body on the beach really closely because he knows that Shawn will “waltz in here, make some crazy proclamation about what happened, and in five days, he’s gonna be right.”
Spots the knife wound on the body on the beach.
Aims to out-Spencer Spencer.
Apologizes to O’Hara for telling her to “shut it.” Blames his rudeness on his being dehydrated.
Gus says Lassiter is virtually insane.
To get Henry to let him see the shark he appeals to Henry as a policeman and a father.
Asks the “overzealous middle-school dropouts” to exercise restraint in their shark hunt.
The Santa Barbara Courier runs the headline “Detective Dipstick at it again?” Other stories include City Offers Clean Air Incentives for Fare Deals, and Tax Overhaul Proposed. Blames the negative article on Shawn for getting “all up in my head.”
Blames their inability to catch the shark on inadequate gear.
Calls the fishermen “backwards hillpeople,” and “sea trash.”
Describes detailed police work as “life-sucking soul-eating.”
Doesn’t know the difference between libel and slander.
Is convinced by Shawn’s idea to solve the murder and show up the reporters.
Says he’d rather French kiss a hobo than ever read anything in the courier again.
Figured it would be a Spencer that got to the shark first, but he didn’t think it would be Henry.
Gets a call that says a leg has watched up on Dodd beach
Gives up on his shark attack was murder theory.
Is upset about getting dead shark all over his suit.
Is upset because O’Hara’s attempt to placate him implied that he’s a bad fisherman. Says O’Hara has insulted the core of his being. Claims fishing is one of his top five skills. Right after profiling and skee-ball.
O’Hara claims he got his tie caught in his reel and fired his gun pointlessly into the water.
O’Hara claims he yelled freeze and held his badge up when he saw driftwood that looked like a shark.
Raises his hand when asking questions in Dr. Kimberley Pheonix’s lab.
Says he can do anything he wants.
Says he is “the worst detective ever” when he gets discouraged.
Says he wants nothing to do with Spencer. He says they are not compadres or partners.
Says running red lights is the God-given right of every police officer.
Says that one loose end doesn’t make it foul play.
Studied the shark they were looking for.
Threatens to commandeer people’s boats.
Tries to backtrack on his knife wound theory. Says he doesn’t want to be Spencer not for one minute.
Hates reporter Chad Gorsuch and hopes he dies an untimely self-inflicted and painful later to be referred to as “gorsuching yourself,” or is on a respirator and dying slowly. Says imagining this makes him feel better and that he finds it very therapeutic.
Says that at the end of the day he does good police work and people respect him for it. Puts the courier with Shawn’s success headline into the garbage. Gus leaves him a second copy, which he reads as soon as they leave.
Buzz McNab
Had a Baha Men tattoo that was removed by a guy Shawn found. [Baha Men are a band from Nassau known for doing a remake of Who Let The Dogs Out?]
Juliet O’Hara
Called Dr. Kimberly Phoenix to help with the shark investigation.
Tries to assure Lassiter as kindly as possible that he mustn’t try to do what Shawn does.
Doesn’t believe Lassiter’s murder theory once they find a second set of DNA on the first victim that they deduce came from the shark’s teeth.
Lassiter claims she knows nothing about fishing. She says she once spent three weeks with her dad on a charter off Islamorada. They fed tarpon by hand
When Lassiter blames her for not preventing him from giving his murder theory to the press she reminds him that he told her to “shut it,” but still tries to cheer him up about the bad press.
Later thinks they may have jumped off the murder theory too soon.
Threatens to shoot Lassister if he tells her to shut it again.
Lassiter called her “little miss I have daddy issues.”
Shawn Spencer
Teases Gus about being squicked by dead bodies. Imitates him holding back vomit at the sight of a dead body.
Lassiter calls him and Gus “the Wonder Twins.”
Gus asks who brings a woman they just met to an autopsy and Shawn tells him to shut up, implying that Shawn has.
Almost touches Gus when he is about to puke.
He and Gus laugh at Lassiter’s press conference when he is taunted by reporters. Supports Lassiter’s theory about the man on the beach having been murdered. Uses hand signals to show his support for Lassiter’s crazy theory.
He and Gus are put off by the dead shark odor but Henry and Lassiter (the fishermen) don’t mind it.
Either thinks a loose end is always indicative of foul play, or he can’t tell the difference.
Says Lassiter should feel liberated because he’s following his gut.
Says Lassiter is always a step behind them because they follow their instrincts. Says your first instinct is pure and you’ve got to grab it (implies by the balls).”
Calls ichthyology “icky thumpology.”
Calls Lassiter Detective Dipstick. Claims to have registered Detective Dipstick and Gus confirms this, adding that he also registered Officer Whoopsie
Calls Lassiter his comrade.
Calls spitting out a crazy theory “a process.”
He and Gus ask Lassiter if he and Shawn are at least a buddies, (Gus offers homeboys), or “platonic soulmates.”
He and Gus sigh with exasperation when Henry appears on television having killed a shark.
Apologizes for pretending to be psychic to Henry, explaining “it’s force of habit.”
Asks Gus is his theories sound as insane as Lassiter’s does. Gus responds, “Insaner.”
Asks Lassiter to sign his copy of The Courier calling him “detective dipstick.”
Became afraid of shark attacks after watching Jaws 4.
Calls his dad so he can reach the ocean expert.
Gus says Henry has every move in Shawn’s playbook, or has Shawn been using Henry’s playbook all along? Shawn says he doesn’t have a playbook. It’s a binder.
Doesn’t remember the names of any of the people from his previous cases.
Describes twenty of his cases to the fishermen. Only one fisherman is left at the end of his story.
Doesn’t know how to drive a boat.
Films Lassiter’s press conference./townhall at the marina using his iphone.
Hates the movie White Chicks.
Is determined to prove Lassiter was right, even after Lassiter has given up on his theory.
Is impressed by Gus’s self-control over the bucket of chum.
Makes the fingernails down the chalkboard sound with his mouth like Quint from jaws.
Never locks the doors at psych.
Objects to Henry hitting on a woman in the middle of a crime scene and Gus points out that Shawn did that three times last year.
Shawn says he and Lassiter are Shassie now. Also, Charlton and Spenciter. This alarms Lassiter.
Says he believes in Lassiter.
Says he has a funny words list that includes mangrove, avuncular and (now) ichthyology.
Says he hasn’t seen Gus’s sample case in two years.
Says he likes Woody.
Says he would rather dip his jewels in honey and go on a bear watch than watch his dad flirt with the lady doctor.
Says he wouldn’t last five minutes in Lassiter’s head.
Says he’s getting a fair amount of pleasure from Lassiter’s beflusterment at the shark’s body being stolen.
Says he’s never been more in love with Lassiter than he is at this moment (when Lassiter sticks to the murder theory when confronted with a second victim.
Says he’s very happy to see that things are going well between Henry and the Dr.
Says Lassiter should probably colour his sideburns.
Surmised that a group of cats with laser beams knocked over a bank. They weren’t angry, they were just following orders.
Tells O’Hara that her shark expert is his dad’s date.
Is in the courier caption Psychic catches killer, solves shark mystery. Also: extreme weather plagues nation, economy showing slight recovery. State tries to disconnect auto-calls
Says Lasister was right there on the precipice with them but he wouldn’t jump. And he should be right there with them on the front page. Right behind Gus. Because he’s a little bit taller and maybe slightly less important.
He and Gus assure Lassiter that they did him justice in their interview article. Gus says it should effectively quash the Detective Dipstick talk.
Dante Pavan
An oceanography activist and leader of Oceans First.
Is a web millionaire from Seattle who came to Santa Barbara a few days ago
Sent a letter to Tanner threatening to shut him down and get his license pulled.
Sent an open letter to the criminal fishing industry of Santa Barbara telling them to stop their illegal fishing practices or he would.
His car was abandoned in the parking lot of the marina three days ago.
Once threw himself into a fishing net while it was being pulled in. Also chained himself to a buoy to protest whaling and made the news. Did the same thing with an oil tank anchor.
Dr. Kimberley Phoenix
Runs the ocean studies department at the university. Shark expert.
Was impressed by Henry’s television appearance. Says she was glad to see that it was a former cop who caught the shark and not a shark hunter.
Slips that she’s single into her conversation with Henry.
Tells Henry to call her Doctor, or Kim, but not Miss.
Finds Henry attractive.
Sympathizes with Lassiter. Says she’s had some bad press.
Tanner
Has a stock of violations as deep as the ocean floor.
Woody Coroner
Agrees that the knife wound is different from the others. Doesn’t exclude the possibility of a knife.
Waits for O’Hara and Shawn and Gus to arrive.
Gives Gus advice to keep him from getting queasy.
Says he took an oath, but doesn’t specify what it included.
Writes on the body with a marker to demonstrate the knife shape and is then appalled by what he’s done. Tries to wipe off the marker with spit, toughing his tongue with the gloves he’s been using to touch the dead body.
Burton Guster
Claims to have been hardened because “I’ve seen it all.” Wants Shawn to call him Guts, then Ironsides, but then settles for Old Iron Stomach.
Has to explain Lassiter’s remarks about Shawn and Henry because Shawn can’t tell if he should be insulted.
Is called a retching pantywaist by Turner.
Gets grossed out by the dismembered leg of the victim with its massive tissue loss.
Knows what ichthyology is.
Knows what a galeocerdo cuvier is. (Tiger shark)
Uses the supersniffer to lead them to the shark body while Shawn pretends to be leading them psychically.
Points out to Lassiter that equating loose ends with foul play is how Psych has stayed in business the past four years.
Says having a gag reflex means he’s highly evolved. Says he did some research on it.
Has to get his numbers up at his pharmaceutical job because they haven’t had a paying Psych client in three weeks.
Says he would have guessed the dead body was the result of an ape attack. Shawn points out that it’s never an ape attack and Gus responds, “Oh, it will be. Mark my words.”
Thought White Chicks was hilarious.
Wants to gag at the sight of the shark-eaten body but holds back because Shawn is watching him and slapping his stomach. Later tries to pretend he’s not alarmed by the victim’s lack of hands.
Henry Spencer
Asks Lassiter what the hell he knows about being a father.
Casually slips mention of his divorce into his talk with Dr. Kimberley Phoenix. Later brings her a cup of coffee.
Claims that he and his friends are going Marlin hunting, not shark hunting, they just caught a shark by accident.
Claims he dropped his cellphone in the water and couldn’t call Lassiter
Defends the size of the shark (That is not a little guy) and Dr. Phoenix makes it into a sexual innuendo.
Doesn’t have a key to the psych office.
Doubts that Lassiter’s shark case really is a murder investigation.
Found it difficult to be sympathetic to Shawn’s fear of sharks when Jaws 4 was such a terrible sequel.
Is impressed by the $50,000 reward. Says the shark was going to pay for his new roof.
Is offended when Shawn pretends to be a psychic to him.
Lassiter calls Henry self-righteous.
Says he tried not to call Lassiter “detective Dipstick” but it he can’t help it, “it just rolls off the tongue.”
Says he’s a fisherman at heart, there’s a lot of Marlin out there, and Dr. Phoenix could lead him to them.
Carlton Lassiter
Examines the body on the beach really closely because he knows that Shawn will “waltz in here, make some crazy proclamation about what happened, and in five days, he’s gonna be right.”
Spots the knife wound on the body on the beach.
Aims to out-Spencer Spencer.
Apologizes to O’Hara for telling her to “shut it.” Blames his rudeness on his being dehydrated.
Gus says Lassiter is virtually insane.
To get Henry to let him see the shark he appeals to Henry as a policeman and a father.
Asks the “overzealous middle-school dropouts” to exercise restraint in their shark hunt.
The Santa Barbara Courier runs the headline “Detective Dipstick at it again?” Other stories include City Offers Clean Air Incentives for Fare Deals, and Tax Overhaul Proposed. Blames the negative article on Shawn for getting “all up in my head.”
Blames their inability to catch the shark on inadequate gear.
Calls the fishermen “backwards hillpeople,” and “sea trash.”
Describes detailed police work as “life-sucking soul-eating.”
Doesn’t know the difference between libel and slander.
Is convinced by Shawn’s idea to solve the murder and show up the reporters.
Says he’d rather French kiss a hobo than ever read anything in the courier again.
Figured it would be a Spencer that got to the shark first, but he didn’t think it would be Henry.
Gets a call that says a leg has watched up on Dodd beach
Gives up on his shark attack was murder theory.
Is upset about getting dead shark all over his suit.
Is upset because O’Hara’s attempt to placate him implied that he’s a bad fisherman. Says O’Hara has insulted the core of his being. Claims fishing is one of his top five skills. Right after profiling and skee-ball.
O’Hara claims he got his tie caught in his reel and fired his gun pointlessly into the water.
O’Hara claims he yelled freeze and held his badge up when he saw driftwood that looked like a shark.
Raises his hand when asking questions in Dr. Kimberley Pheonix’s lab.
Says he can do anything he wants.
Says he is “the worst detective ever” when he gets discouraged.
Says he wants nothing to do with Spencer. He says they are not compadres or partners.
Says running red lights is the God-given right of every police officer.
Says that one loose end doesn’t make it foul play.
Studied the shark they were looking for.
Threatens to commandeer people’s boats.
Tries to backtrack on his knife wound theory. Says he doesn’t want to be Spencer not for one minute.
Hates reporter Chad Gorsuch and hopes he dies an untimely self-inflicted and painful later to be referred to as “gorsuching yourself,” or is on a respirator and dying slowly. Says imagining this makes him feel better and that he finds it very therapeutic.
Says that at the end of the day he does good police work and people respect him for it. Puts the courier with Shawn’s success headline into the garbage. Gus leaves him a second copy, which he reads as soon as they leave.
Buzz McNab
Had a Baha Men tattoo that was removed by a guy Shawn found. [Baha Men are a band from Nassau known for doing a remake of Who Let The Dogs Out?]
Juliet O’Hara
Called Dr. Kimberly Phoenix to help with the shark investigation.
Tries to assure Lassiter as kindly as possible that he mustn’t try to do what Shawn does.
Doesn’t believe Lassiter’s murder theory once they find a second set of DNA on the first victim that they deduce came from the shark’s teeth.
Lassiter claims she knows nothing about fishing. She says she once spent three weeks with her dad on a charter off Islamorada. They fed tarpon by hand
When Lassiter blames her for not preventing him from giving his murder theory to the press she reminds him that he told her to “shut it,” but still tries to cheer him up about the bad press.
Later thinks they may have jumped off the murder theory too soon.
Threatens to shoot Lassister if he tells her to shut it again.
Lassiter called her “little miss I have daddy issues.”
Shawn Spencer
Teases Gus about being squicked by dead bodies. Imitates him holding back vomit at the sight of a dead body.
Lassiter calls him and Gus “the Wonder Twins.”
Gus asks who brings a woman they just met to an autopsy and Shawn tells him to shut up, implying that Shawn has.
Almost touches Gus when he is about to puke.
He and Gus laugh at Lassiter’s press conference when he is taunted by reporters. Supports Lassiter’s theory about the man on the beach having been murdered. Uses hand signals to show his support for Lassiter’s crazy theory.
He and Gus are put off by the dead shark odor but Henry and Lassiter (the fishermen) don’t mind it.
Either thinks a loose end is always indicative of foul play, or he can’t tell the difference.
Says Lassiter should feel liberated because he’s following his gut.
Says Lassiter is always a step behind them because they follow their instrincts. Says your first instinct is pure and you’ve got to grab it (implies by the balls).”
Calls ichthyology “icky thumpology.”
Calls Lassiter Detective Dipstick. Claims to have registered Detective Dipstick and Gus confirms this, adding that he also registered Officer Whoopsie
Calls Lassiter his comrade.
Calls spitting out a crazy theory “a process.”
He and Gus ask Lassiter if he and Shawn are at least a buddies, (Gus offers homeboys), or “platonic soulmates.”
He and Gus sigh with exasperation when Henry appears on television having killed a shark.
Apologizes for pretending to be psychic to Henry, explaining “it’s force of habit.”
Asks Gus is his theories sound as insane as Lassiter’s does. Gus responds, “Insaner.”
Asks Lassiter to sign his copy of The Courier calling him “detective dipstick.”
Became afraid of shark attacks after watching Jaws 4.
Calls his dad so he can reach the ocean expert.
Gus says Henry has every move in Shawn’s playbook, or has Shawn been using Henry’s playbook all along? Shawn says he doesn’t have a playbook. It’s a binder.
Doesn’t remember the names of any of the people from his previous cases.
Describes twenty of his cases to the fishermen. Only one fisherman is left at the end of his story.
Doesn’t know how to drive a boat.
Films Lassiter’s press conference./townhall at the marina using his iphone.
Hates the movie White Chicks.
Is determined to prove Lassiter was right, even after Lassiter has given up on his theory.
Is impressed by Gus’s self-control over the bucket of chum.
Makes the fingernails down the chalkboard sound with his mouth like Quint from jaws.
Never locks the doors at psych.
Objects to Henry hitting on a woman in the middle of a crime scene and Gus points out that Shawn did that three times last year.
Shawn says he and Lassiter are Shassie now. Also, Charlton and Spenciter. This alarms Lassiter.
Says he believes in Lassiter.
Says he has a funny words list that includes mangrove, avuncular and (now) ichthyology.
Says he hasn’t seen Gus’s sample case in two years.
Says he likes Woody.
Says he would rather dip his jewels in honey and go on a bear watch than watch his dad flirt with the lady doctor.
Says he wouldn’t last five minutes in Lassiter’s head.
Says he’s getting a fair amount of pleasure from Lassiter’s beflusterment at the shark’s body being stolen.
Says he’s never been more in love with Lassiter than he is at this moment (when Lassiter sticks to the murder theory when confronted with a second victim.
Says he’s very happy to see that things are going well between Henry and the Dr.
Says Lassiter should probably colour his sideburns.
Surmised that a group of cats with laser beams knocked over a bank. They weren’t angry, they were just following orders.
Tells O’Hara that her shark expert is his dad’s date.
Is in the courier caption Psychic catches killer, solves shark mystery. Also: extreme weather plagues nation, economy showing slight recovery. State tries to disconnect auto-calls
Says Lasister was right there on the precipice with them but he wouldn’t jump. And he should be right there with them on the front page. Right behind Gus. Because he’s a little bit taller and maybe slightly less important.
He and Gus assure Lassiter that they did him justice in their interview article. Gus says it should effectively quash the Detective Dipstick talk.
Dante Pavan
An oceanography activist and leader of Oceans First.
Is a web millionaire from Seattle who came to Santa Barbara a few days ago
Sent a letter to Tanner threatening to shut him down and get his license pulled.
Sent an open letter to the criminal fishing industry of Santa Barbara telling them to stop their illegal fishing practices or he would.
His car was abandoned in the parking lot of the marina three days ago.
Once threw himself into a fishing net while it was being pulled in. Also chained himself to a buoy to protest whaling and made the news. Did the same thing with an oil tank anchor.
Dr. Kimberley Phoenix
Runs the ocean studies department at the university. Shark expert.
Was impressed by Henry’s television appearance. Says she was glad to see that it was a former cop who caught the shark and not a shark hunter.
Slips that she’s single into her conversation with Henry.
Tells Henry to call her Doctor, or Kim, but not Miss.
Finds Henry attractive.
Sympathizes with Lassiter. Says she’s had some bad press.
Tanner
Has a stock of violations as deep as the ocean floor.
Woody Coroner
Agrees that the knife wound is different from the others. Doesn’t exclude the possibility of a knife.
Waits for O’Hara and Shawn and Gus to arrive.
Gives Gus advice to keep him from getting queasy.
Says he took an oath, but doesn’t specify what it included.
Writes on the body with a marker to demonstrate the knife shape and is then appalled by what he’s done. Tries to wipe off the marker with spit, toughing his tongue with the gloves he’s been using to touch the dead body.