[get it on let it out]
So today was my last day of high school. I ditched and came home early, because even though the wiffleball tournament in government was fun, I didn't feel like sticking around for lunch.
I had this idea I'd have some emotion to feel about the end of high school, but y'know, I really don't. There's no sense of IT WENT TOO FAST because it didn't. There's no lingering disappointment. There's nothing left to do. There's no FUCK I'M GONNA MISS YOU GUYS because I'll still see the people I want to see this summer. High school's over. It's time for it to be over.
I'm not even really nostalgic, which is weird for me. I guess it's because... well, because it all happened once and doesn't need to happen again. Nostalgia is remembrance that comes with regret; when there's something to which you want to return. I don't want to return to any point of high school. It was all good while it happened, but I'm ready for the new.
And okay, yeah, I beasted high school. I was really fucking good at it. So now it's time to move on and be good at something else! Good at being employed! Good at being a college student! Good at traveling abroad! Good at being a productive member of society! Good at being in a relationship! I haven't been those things yet. I'm ready to spring for something I haven't figured out yet.
In other news: My adorable stand partner wrote me a concerto. ;~; SHE WROTE ME A CONCERTO. It's so badass. In about five minutes I'm going to be upstairs playing it. And-- holy shit get this-- she's asked me to perform with her in a few weeks.
This is the crazy beast of a sophomore who's moving to Michigan to attend the Interlochen Arts Academy High School next year for piano and composition and can actually live without sleep. (She sits up all night and composes. God she's so damn cool.) And she asked me to perform with her and I'm so excited. I love playing with T.J.! We have the most epic peformance chemistry, and the way she plays is so enthusiastic and we complement each other really well. We'll be playing Boccherini's Sonata for Two Cellos in C Major, and Mozart's Table Music for Two, and... a Bach invention whose number I can't remember, and a Canzonetta by Dancla, and then a sonata for cello and piano she wrote for us. Also possibly that concerto, if I can make it workable in a few weeks.
I could rant about how much I adore this girl forever. I've never met someone like her. I love music, but T.J.... T.J. lives music. It kind of reminds me of a Trappist monk I met once. God seemed less like something he believed in, less something he followed, than something inside him. He didn't structure his life around God; God was his life. The man and the omnipotent power were not seperable beings. T.J. and music are like that. It practically sparks in her hair. She loves music beyond shame or pride; she's never embarrassed when Shostakovich quartets make her dance, but she's never proud when her rhapsody is performed on a stage, or when she gets into a premier arts academy on a full sholarship before she even graduates high school. Music is not something she does, something she controls and makes work for her. Music is something higher that she is allowed to use, a current running through her life that she's allowed to draw from. Watching her love music has been the best of delights this year. I want to love music like T.J. does. I don't want to be tangled up in what I can do and can't do, what I should do and what would be advantageous for me to do with music. I want to be like T.J.
So I'm honored beyond belief that she asked me to play with her, and I'm so excited for the performance. I don't yet know exactly where it will be (I asked and her response was a vague, "a venue I've performed at before," and I have no idea what that entails - half of me is hoping for a tiny Midtown bar that reeks of pot and French fries and the other half is hoping for a church or a concert hall), but it will be June 10th. My first public concert, performing with one of the more talented human beings on this planet. Anybody maybe interested in seeing it?
Oh, btw - T.J.'s website is at www.tjcolemusic.com. Her "Rhapsody for Strings" as performed by the Collins Hill Red Bull Orchestra is here. I am the blonde cellist sitting fifth chair and grinning like an idiot. 'Pologies that the recording doesn't do the piece justice.
I had this idea I'd have some emotion to feel about the end of high school, but y'know, I really don't. There's no sense of IT WENT TOO FAST because it didn't. There's no lingering disappointment. There's nothing left to do. There's no FUCK I'M GONNA MISS YOU GUYS because I'll still see the people I want to see this summer. High school's over. It's time for it to be over.
I'm not even really nostalgic, which is weird for me. I guess it's because... well, because it all happened once and doesn't need to happen again. Nostalgia is remembrance that comes with regret; when there's something to which you want to return. I don't want to return to any point of high school. It was all good while it happened, but I'm ready for the new.
And okay, yeah, I beasted high school. I was really fucking good at it. So now it's time to move on and be good at something else! Good at being employed! Good at being a college student! Good at traveling abroad! Good at being a productive member of society! Good at being in a relationship! I haven't been those things yet. I'm ready to spring for something I haven't figured out yet.
In other news: My adorable stand partner wrote me a concerto. ;~; SHE WROTE ME A CONCERTO. It's so badass. In about five minutes I'm going to be upstairs playing it. And-- holy shit get this-- she's asked me to perform with her in a few weeks.
This is the crazy beast of a sophomore who's moving to Michigan to attend the Interlochen Arts Academy High School next year for piano and composition and can actually live without sleep. (She sits up all night and composes. God she's so damn cool.) And she asked me to perform with her and I'm so excited. I love playing with T.J.! We have the most epic peformance chemistry, and the way she plays is so enthusiastic and we complement each other really well. We'll be playing Boccherini's Sonata for Two Cellos in C Major, and Mozart's Table Music for Two, and... a Bach invention whose number I can't remember, and a Canzonetta by Dancla, and then a sonata for cello and piano she wrote for us. Also possibly that concerto, if I can make it workable in a few weeks.
I could rant about how much I adore this girl forever. I've never met someone like her. I love music, but T.J.... T.J. lives music. It kind of reminds me of a Trappist monk I met once. God seemed less like something he believed in, less something he followed, than something inside him. He didn't structure his life around God; God was his life. The man and the omnipotent power were not seperable beings. T.J. and music are like that. It practically sparks in her hair. She loves music beyond shame or pride; she's never embarrassed when Shostakovich quartets make her dance, but she's never proud when her rhapsody is performed on a stage, or when she gets into a premier arts academy on a full sholarship before she even graduates high school. Music is not something she does, something she controls and makes work for her. Music is something higher that she is allowed to use, a current running through her life that she's allowed to draw from. Watching her love music has been the best of delights this year. I want to love music like T.J. does. I don't want to be tangled up in what I can do and can't do, what I should do and what would be advantageous for me to do with music. I want to be like T.J.
So I'm honored beyond belief that she asked me to play with her, and I'm so excited for the performance. I don't yet know exactly where it will be (I asked and her response was a vague, "a venue I've performed at before," and I have no idea what that entails - half of me is hoping for a tiny Midtown bar that reeks of pot and French fries and the other half is hoping for a church or a concert hall), but it will be June 10th. My first public concert, performing with one of the more talented human beings on this planet. Anybody maybe interested in seeing it?
Oh, btw - T.J.'s website is at www.tjcolemusic.com. Her "Rhapsody for Strings" as performed by the Collins Hill Red Bull Orchestra is here. I am the blonde cellist sitting fifth chair and grinning like an idiot. 'Pologies that the recording doesn't do the piece justice.