(no subject)
We all had a discussion just now-- me, my mom, and my dad. I started crying at one point, which was kind of embarrassing, but I think I got my point across. Even my dad teared up a little and he gave me a hug, which was nice.
I don't know if I can trust him... but he told me that if I decide to stay that he will set aside some money for me to travel with... Not a huge sum, but all I really need.
I started crying because I said I had a strong sense of worthlessness a lot of the time... And I really feel that the scholarship means a lot to me because it's a financial reward for my work... Nay, for who I am. It says I am worth something because of what I have done, what I do, and what I will continue to do.
I just need to be shown how much I'm worth.
My mom was good... She actually spoke up and spoke for me. Not a lot, but more than usual.
Things need to change here.... Maybe they will.
They are really attached to me, my family.
I think my dad's suffering from depression. I didn't realize how attached he was to me... He's very good at hiding his anguish...
I know what kind of person he is. I just don't know how to handle him. He's a patriarch, really... And I am his son. It's difficult.
I think I'm going to stay. I'm not certain on that, but... I'm feeling hopeful again about what I can do here. Especially if there are real rewards for me here.
My mom's going to come back after she's done helping Holly study and I hope that in talking with her we will be able to come to a clearer decision.
That is all.
- T.
I don't know if I can trust him... but he told me that if I decide to stay that he will set aside some money for me to travel with... Not a huge sum, but all I really need.
I started crying because I said I had a strong sense of worthlessness a lot of the time... And I really feel that the scholarship means a lot to me because it's a financial reward for my work... Nay, for who I am. It says I am worth something because of what I have done, what I do, and what I will continue to do.
I just need to be shown how much I'm worth.
My mom was good... She actually spoke up and spoke for me. Not a lot, but more than usual.
Things need to change here.... Maybe they will.
They are really attached to me, my family.
I think my dad's suffering from depression. I didn't realize how attached he was to me... He's very good at hiding his anguish...
I know what kind of person he is. I just don't know how to handle him. He's a patriarch, really... And I am his son. It's difficult.
I think I'm going to stay. I'm not certain on that, but... I'm feeling hopeful again about what I can do here. Especially if there are real rewards for me here.
My mom's going to come back after she's done helping Holly study and I hope that in talking with her we will be able to come to a clearer decision.
That is all.
- T.