(no subject)
This is going to be long and rambly. Fair warning
*.... I was stunned when I watched the extras on my Lady and the Tramp dvd when they implied that Lady and Tramp had sex after their little date, the night before she got put in the pound for chasing chickens. That's why Jock and Trusty proposed. Um...what? My little kid mind always translated that as their offer to get her away from Aunt Sarah. Never DREAMED it was cause she was knocked up!! WTF, DISNEY, WTF>!Premarital sex in a Disney movie? And a 50 year old Disney movie?! Color me floored!
*....I'm also seriously in love with Tramp. I'd totally marry him if he wasn't a dog. But then again, I AM crazy so who knows. But what is it about scoundrels that is so attractive? I obviously have horrible taste in men.
*....I spent the night with my dad watching the movie How The West Was Won. It was part of AMC's John Wayne thingamabob. There's a John Wayne something or other every other Tuesday it seems like. And what kills me about this is that John (aka Marion hehe!) was in it for like 5 seconds, said like 10 lines and that was it. The movie was 3 hours long, and that's all he had to do with it. John Wayne movie my foot. It was more a Debbie Reynolds movie. But Gregory Peck and George Peppard were in it, so I can forgive. Man candy makes up for false advertising. Jimmy Stewart was in it as well, but I refuse to believe him as a cowboy. I just cannot buy the image for a second. He's too much George Bailey and Mr. Smith for me to buy him any other way. Lee Van Kleeve was in it as well. The Master Ninja Theme Song was going through my head the entire time. Karl Maldin was as well. Godzilla Geneology Bop anyone?
*....Every time I watch a western, it makes me wish we could revert back to that way of life. People were strong, people actually carved out a life for themselves. People were actually FREE! Oh sure, we say we are the land of the free, but in all reality, we can't so much as sneeze without having to fill out a piece of paper and having the rest of the world aware of the fact that you sneezed and having someone else analyzing the contents of your sneeze to put in your file. Seriously, back then, if you wanted to move, you just up and moved. Now it's a huge process where you fill out paper after paper, inform all kinds of people and find time to do it. Pah. That's not freedom. That's being a corporate slave. And I don't want to be that. I want actual freedom. And I won't ever have it. Not in this day and age. I've always felt like I belonged back then. Watching westerns always leaves an ache in my heart. But then again, this could all go back to my being crazy.
*....I've realized something about depression. It's a thinking persons ailment. The simple minded people who take life as they come and never ask why are perfectly content. It's the thinkers that suffer. I'm a thinker. I always have been. I'm the sort of person who researches just for the fun of it because I like to know! Hell, the other day I was researching lynchings, not because it's pleasant, but because I want to be informed. The more I inform myself, the less content I become. But not knowing also leaves me discontent. It's a vicious cycle. Ignorance truly is bliss.
*....I wish I was special. I really, really do. Or even that there was something special about me. But there's not, and I hate it. I don't want to just be normal, I want to be AMAZING. And then I feel selfish for ever wishing that. But I don't think I'm cut out for a life in suburbia, hampered in by a picket fence, staying home with the baby and the dog and driving a minivan. I just don't think that's me. I itch for something...more than that. And what is there, besides that really? I'm so confused.
*....I think I'm looking for a push start into life, and I don't know where to find it. My thing is, I don't want to go it alone. But where on earth am I going to find someone who excites me in the middle of redneck suburbia missouri? People don't try to break the mold in missouri. They all are perfectly content to settle right down into that mold and make more little moldlings. Not.What.I.WANT. It's all so bizarre for me, because when I was younger, before I was aware that there was more to the world than just podunk missouri, my dream in life was to be a stay at home mom in the suburbs. Ha.I'd go stir crazy now.
*....I don't know if I'll ever be content. And that scares me.
*.... I was stunned when I watched the extras on my Lady and the Tramp dvd when they implied that Lady and Tramp had sex after their little date, the night before she got put in the pound for chasing chickens. That's why Jock and Trusty proposed. Um...what? My little kid mind always translated that as their offer to get her away from Aunt Sarah. Never DREAMED it was cause she was knocked up!! WTF, DISNEY, WTF>!Premarital sex in a Disney movie? And a 50 year old Disney movie?! Color me floored!
*....I'm also seriously in love with Tramp. I'd totally marry him if he wasn't a dog. But then again, I AM crazy so who knows. But what is it about scoundrels that is so attractive? I obviously have horrible taste in men.
*....I spent the night with my dad watching the movie How The West Was Won. It was part of AMC's John Wayne thingamabob. There's a John Wayne something or other every other Tuesday it seems like. And what kills me about this is that John (aka Marion hehe!) was in it for like 5 seconds, said like 10 lines and that was it. The movie was 3 hours long, and that's all he had to do with it. John Wayne movie my foot. It was more a Debbie Reynolds movie. But Gregory Peck and George Peppard were in it, so I can forgive. Man candy makes up for false advertising. Jimmy Stewart was in it as well, but I refuse to believe him as a cowboy. I just cannot buy the image for a second. He's too much George Bailey and Mr. Smith for me to buy him any other way. Lee Van Kleeve was in it as well. The Master Ninja Theme Song was going through my head the entire time. Karl Maldin was as well. Godzilla Geneology Bop anyone?
*....Every time I watch a western, it makes me wish we could revert back to that way of life. People were strong, people actually carved out a life for themselves. People were actually FREE! Oh sure, we say we are the land of the free, but in all reality, we can't so much as sneeze without having to fill out a piece of paper and having the rest of the world aware of the fact that you sneezed and having someone else analyzing the contents of your sneeze to put in your file. Seriously, back then, if you wanted to move, you just up and moved. Now it's a huge process where you fill out paper after paper, inform all kinds of people and find time to do it. Pah. That's not freedom. That's being a corporate slave. And I don't want to be that. I want actual freedom. And I won't ever have it. Not in this day and age. I've always felt like I belonged back then. Watching westerns always leaves an ache in my heart. But then again, this could all go back to my being crazy.
*....I've realized something about depression. It's a thinking persons ailment. The simple minded people who take life as they come and never ask why are perfectly content. It's the thinkers that suffer. I'm a thinker. I always have been. I'm the sort of person who researches just for the fun of it because I like to know! Hell, the other day I was researching lynchings, not because it's pleasant, but because I want to be informed. The more I inform myself, the less content I become. But not knowing also leaves me discontent. It's a vicious cycle. Ignorance truly is bliss.
*....I wish I was special. I really, really do. Or even that there was something special about me. But there's not, and I hate it. I don't want to just be normal, I want to be AMAZING. And then I feel selfish for ever wishing that. But I don't think I'm cut out for a life in suburbia, hampered in by a picket fence, staying home with the baby and the dog and driving a minivan. I just don't think that's me. I itch for something...more than that. And what is there, besides that really? I'm so confused.
*....I think I'm looking for a push start into life, and I don't know where to find it. My thing is, I don't want to go it alone. But where on earth am I going to find someone who excites me in the middle of redneck suburbia missouri? People don't try to break the mold in missouri. They all are perfectly content to settle right down into that mold and make more little moldlings. Not.What.I.WANT. It's all so bizarre for me, because when I was younger, before I was aware that there was more to the world than just podunk missouri, my dream in life was to be a stay at home mom in the suburbs. Ha.I'd go stir crazy now.
*....I don't know if I'll ever be content. And that scares me.