Edit - Merlin AUs: Royal husbands (I-Ch01)
Title: Merlin AUs: Royal husbands - Part I Chapter 01
Artist: Hakka ( prue84 )
Fandom: BBC's Merlin (canon divergence, post-canon) AU
AU: The Royal Husbands
Pairing: Arthur/Guinevere, Lancelot/Guinevere, Arthur/Merlin (future)
Characters: Arthur Pendragon, Merlin, Guinevere, Lancelot.
Rating: G
Tagline: 1st canon divergence, Lancelot du Lac. Lancelot's selfless sacrifice is rewarded.
Series: Merlin AUs
About the AU: AU in which a series of canon divergences lead to Arthur surviving the mortal wound inflicted him by Mordred at Camlann and, with the help of Merlin who then becomes his Prince Consort, bringing the golden age foretold by the prophecies.
About the chapter: Lancelot is returned by magic, instead of necromancy, to fulfil his destiny at Arthur's side. And what seemed to be the written fate of Camelot is changed.
Notes: This edit dates back to 2018/2019 but was hold back because, buckle up... I couldn't work out the text part. Yes. Embarrassing, isn't it? How hard could it be write a lengthy summary/synopsis, right? Four years. Four fucking years.
In the year of the lord 2022, with the yearly goal to publish as much wips and finished-but-held-back works as I can, I sat down and forced myself to give a sense to the years-old draft. But still, it took me another year to finish this.
Notes 2: This series consists of 6 planned parts. The first one, of which this post is part of, is made of 8 chapters that cover all the canon divergences that lead to Arthur healing from his battle wound. The other five parts follow his (and Merlin's) life, the coming of the Golden Age, the birth of the new Pendragon generation, Arthur's rest and what Merlin will build during his husband's long sleep.
Tec stuffs (aka Behind The Manip): No manip nor modification required on this one, so nothing to report. Besides the fact that, when the edit was almost posted, I decided to add further scenes to better fit with the ficlet that was expanded.
Disclaimer: Don't own anything on this.
Crossposted: Dreamwidth, Deviantart, Tumblr. Text/ficlet only also on AO3 and SquidgeWorld.
Chapter I: The triangle of love
Through the sacrifice of her sister Morgause, who happily gives up her life in a last gesture of both love and revenge, Morgana tears open the Veil between the worlds, bringing chaos and pain throughout the realm of mortals. To seal the Veil again, another sacrifice has to be made: a sacrifice that Arthur is ready to make and Merlin is set to prevent. Lancelot, the bravest and most noble of them all, to save the lives of his king and his friend Merlin, steps through the Veil instead, thus restoring the equilibrium.
The ultimate sacrifice of the knight is greatly mourned by all the people Lancelot's presence has touched during his stay at Camelot, its weight forever heavy on the shoulders of three people who blame themselves for Lancelot's ultimate choice.
*
Months later happiness has returned to embrace Camelot. Arthur's grief for the tragic loss of his father is fading, and he feels it has finally come the time for the woman he loves to be officially introduced to the court. Trusting his counsel, Arthur confesses his uncle Agravaine that he wishes to marry Guinevere, and plans to soon propose. Caution, suggests Agravaine, wait for the mourning to end. The way must be paved first, for a court to accept a servant as their future queen. Patience, the uncle says.
But the treacherous Agravaine, distressed for the worrisome development, is quick to inform the one he pledged his loyalty to, Morgana Pendragon. The Witch shudders, for the dreams that plague her sleep are about to become reality. She will not allow for a servant to sit on her throne, and Morgana knows how to prevent the dreaded images from happen. Morgana was friends to Guinevere, Morgana knew Guinevere's secrets. Morgana will use those secrets to strike at Guinevere, where Guinevere hurts the most.
When she laid on the brink of death after her encounter with Emrys, Morgana met her sister Morgause in the Spirit World. In her hand, Morgause had a coin to offer, the price of a soul. Morgana held to the precious artefact, in the hopes to perhaps one day find a way to return her beloved sister to life, to rescue her from the darkness of the existence in the world of the spirits. But Morgana must stop Guinevere from becoming queen of Camelot, and she knows only one way to prevent it.
The Dochraid has spoken, revealing the true power of the magical coin, offering the promise of owning the very soul of a mortal, a slave to a mistress. Morgana reaches for the Pool of Nemhain, the Last of The Five Gateways that separate the world of the mortals from the world of the dead, and tosses the coin into the dark waters. But it's not a man who raises from the waters. It's a woman instead, clothed in a black cloak and bearing a staff, the fabric pitch black as the still water of the lake. Not a woman, a deity. A goddess Morgana already knows, for they have met once. The Cailleach, gatekeeper to the Spirit World. She has words to say, and a warning: her most treasured wish will be fulfilled, but the human male will not be the means to achieve it, for the one who has died will not be a Shade to be brought back to the land of the livings. Morgana does not understand, for she has followed the Dochraid instructions, and a coin has been paid for a soul, a soul she now owns. But the Cailleach can not be forced, for not even a High Priestess has such a power as the one the Cailleach wields. If the Cailleach does not want for a dead human to leave her domain, not even the last High Priestess of the Old Religion can force her.
Morgana weeps for the coin she lost, for the ownership she has been denied, for a sister she will never rescue, but agrees to leave. The Cailleach has spoken, Morgana trust her wish will be fulfilled. That the Old Religion itself will prevent Guinevere from marrying Arthur and ascend to a throne that isn't hers to own.
But the price has been paid, a soul is allowed to leave the Spirit World. Not as a Shade, but in flesh and spirit - whole as when death has claimed them. From the stillness a man emerges. Naked and confused, a kind voice still ringing in his head. Blurred memories but a mission. Return home, return to where his place is.
It takes days, weeks, but an extraordinary surprise awaits Camelot: Sir Lancelot, the man who had offered his life to save the kingdom, has returned.
Little he knows about the how and why he has been allowed back into the realm of the mortals: he only remembers the warm embrace of waters shining of silver, and a warm voice explaining him that his destiny was not fulfilled, that he wasn't meant to die yet. His noble sacrifice showed the truest nature of his heart, that feminine voice said, and he was granted another chance to live his life as brave and fair man between mortals. And thus he awoke again, and he was laying on the shores of a lake, with the urgency to find his way back to Camelot, the knowledge that his destiny is entwined to the fate of the one he twice left a prince and now finds a king.
A return such as his is unprecedented, for nobody can cross the Veil - not in the opposite direction than the only one nature commands. Merlin, suspicious, looks in his books for a way to explain what looks a miracle. Necromancy, is the answer to his search. A way to reveal the true nature of a Shade. Merlin dreads the moment when Lancelot will walk on the mark, dreads to see the painted spiral glow. But the magic symbol doesn't react when Lancelot walks over the circle.
The Lancelot leaving Merlin's room is whole - the one and only Sir Lancelot, Knight of Camelot.
The miracle is welcomed by his old friends the knights, who rejoice for the chance to have their group whole again, as is welcomed by the king, who is given the opportunity to properly thank the hero who saved Camelot. As for Merlin, he has been given back the only guardian of his magical secret and is lonely no more.
But the unexpected return means the most to Guinevere, who carried on her small but strong shoulders the weight of those last words, that plead she imposed on Lancelot. Arthur would not be alive, for it weren't for Lancelot's sacrifice. But his return also awakens old feelings that were believed forgotten.
As days and then weeks pass by, and as Arthur grows the courage to stand against his uncle and share what is now his decision, Gwen grows uncertain of her feelings, torn between the man she promised herself to, and the one she can't forget. Lancelot anguishes in silence over a woman he never deemed himself worthy of, resigned to forever be the silent guardian, devoted to his lady and quiet in his love.
Arthur, unsuspecting, is making preparations to propose to Gwen and then introduce her to the court as the woman who shall be their queen.
Merlin, the shadow that all sees, watches from afar, unable to stand further as three of his dearest friends struggle, their lives entwined in an rope that threatens to choke them all.
Lancelot, noble soul, deserves his chance at happiness, he shouldn't settle for the sidelines, resigned himself once again in a self-imposed sacrifice out of a misplaced sense of loyalty.
Gwen, a heart full of love, has the right to choose her own future, to make an informed choice, entitled the freedom of picking her own path without anyone meddling, without anyone making that choice for her.
Arthur, the beloved king, should never have to lay awake at night, wondering if the woman sleeping at his side picked him out of a lack of choice, believing that he will forever be the second best, nor he should never doubt his trust for a knight, in fear his best one holds the hearth of his queen.
Merlin, the shadow that fights against fate itself, decides it is come the time for Lancelot and Guinevere to confront each other, to bare their hearts. Twice Lancelot fled from an honest talk, twice Gwen was forbidden to face his first love and understand if she was ready to let him go and for Arthur to take his place. Twice Lancelot backed down, for Arthur to pave the way in Guinevere's heart. A miracle has happened, and neither Lancelot nor Guinevere can waste such a precious gift.
Arthur is planning to propose to Gwen against his uncle's advice, Merlin knows about it. Merlin will not allow for Guinevere to say yes to then break Arthur's heart, if she isn't the utmost confident in where her feelings lay. Merlin will be subtle, will halt Arthur's hand and delay the romantic date in which Arthur will offer Gwen a ring, but he cannot stop Arthur forever. Lancelot and Guinevere must talk.
It is with wisdom that Merlin speaks, and two friends are persuaded into the confrontation they both needed and avoided.
Gwen, blessed her pure soul, reveals the bitterness she tried to stifle. Despite the years passed since, she never forgave Lancelot for leaving her without a word after everything they shared at the castle of the outlaw Hengist, she still can't forgive him for their moments of tenderness, the closeness, the love confessions in light of certain death, for making her feel loved, for making her feel conflicted, to then take everything away, leaving her alone and hurting. She can't forgive him for how he returned for Merlin and how he staid for Arthur - never for her. She can't forgive Lancelot for how he treated her like a lady to respect and cherish, she can't forgive him for making her feel like a silly, fool girl, holding on to a love hindered by destiny itself.
Her whole life was influenced, changed, by his selfish decisions, pushed toward the dream of marrying a king after she had been brutally rejected a future with a man she had once truly loved. She loves Arthur with her whole being, but she can't seem to just forget what she felt for that man that was brought to her house in dire need of an armour.
Lancelot, forced to this confrontation, can't withhold the truth he kept close to his heart since his return for the battle of Camelot: Guinevere is the love of his life, the woman his heart will forever belong to, but every time destiny brought them together, he elected to withdraw and fade in the shadows, so she could find happiness with a better man - at Arthur's side.
Gwen is furious. Lancelot's decision deprived her of her own agency, he didn't have any right to choose for her who she wanted to love. For, if Lancelot hadn't left that one time, she might have reconsidered her relationship with Arthur. She would've chosen him - him, not Arthur.
This is a reveal for the both of them, but especially for Gwen. And then the hard truth buried within the deepest, darkest corner of her thoughts, is brought to the surface. And it's a relief, after the pain, after the guilt weighting on her heart, after the sense of unworthiness toward a man who had been ready to give up his throne, his crown, his people, his whole world, just for her.
She might be a servant harbouring dreams too big for her humble origins, but dumb Guinevere is not. It's easy now for her to admit that what she has with Arthur is a fairy tale that shouldn't be, for a servant can love a king, and a king can love a servant, but a kingdom cannot be ruled by a servant.
Torn between the love for a knight - or a man who dreamed to become a knight - and a king - or a prince that was to become a king - she was deprived of a choice, and Lancelot is responsible for what she now knows had been the wrong
choice.
She's the daughter of a smith, she knows the name for each part of an armour and could help a knight to dress up better than a manservant could, but she knows nothing about politics or what's expected from a ruler. She knows empathy, she does not know how to be harsh. She knows how to wield a sword and even kill to protect an innocent, but she does not think she would ever learn how to harden her hearth and send someone to death for the safety of a kingdom. She loves Arthur with all her life, and she ever will, but they should've never been. Arthur might belong to her, but Arthur also belong to Camelot, Arthur is and will always be married to a land and its people as much as he will be to a woman. Arthur accepts her - and wants her - for everything she is, virtues and flaws, but Camelot will not. Camelot will always come between them, the needs of Camelot will tear them apart. Duty and love cannot coexist, Uther was right, in his brutal honesty.
And she could never survive, should Arthur be forced to choose between her and his rightful, best destiny.
Not privy to the nature of the feelings Guinevere, her beloved Gwen, still harbours for the noblest of his knights, it is a rude awakening for Arthur when Guinevere sits down with him and talks. Unable to deceive Arthur, she tells him everything, about Lancelot, about the pain she had felt the two times he left her and the happiness that washed over her when he, against all odds, returned. She tells Arthur about how her heart belongs to two men she loves with the same intensity, how she is pulled in two directions and how she fears to be torn in two pieces. She tells him about how, for as much as her heart can beat for two men, only for one she can be a proper wife. She doesn't want to be the reason why Arthur lost the trust of his people, she doesn't want to be the reason why Arthur acted like a tyrant, imposing his own wish on a resentful court, not the reason for why Arthur fought with his most trusted counsellors or found himself alone surrounded by enemies in his own castle. She doesn't want to put Arthur in the position of choosing between love and duty - he was meant to rule, and he will be a good king, she won't come between that. She won't deprive Camelot of a golden age, just to please herself and fulfil her selfish wishes - for she is but a woman, and the well-being of the people of Camelot comes first. It pains her to know they never had a chance, yes, and she is aware that a price will be paid, for feelings cannot be ripped from one's heart without suffering occurring, but with resolution she found an internal peace and she feels her is and will be the rightful choice. For the both of them. She regrets nothing but hurting him, and she'll understand if he'll hate her. She just hopes that, in time, he'll be able to forgive her and, perhaps, remember with fondness their love.
Arthur's heart is broken, but he cannot find in himself the will to hate the woman he offered his heart to, nor a man who had been nothing but utmost loyal and generous since the first time they had met - a man Arthur can say he loves as much as Guinevere, though in a different way. There is nothing Arthur can blame on Guinevere: she cannot fault her for the same trait that drew him to her. Her candour is what started it all, the servant who ventured to reprimand a prince's manners, her candour is what now puts an end to it all, the torn lover who bravely confesses her secrets and faces the consequences, when leaving everything as it was would've been the easiest path.
Arthur's heart is broken, but Gwen's sincerity and bravery deserves equal bravery from him, thus he agrees to let her go. As friends. It would be unbecoming to act out of spite, and Guinevere does not deserve as such.
Arthur's heart is broken, but Arthur thus agrees to amicably break up a relationship that had been the utmost discreet so far, grateful for Guinevere's deep sense of loyalty. Grateful that she approached the subject before he could make the mistake of making their relationship official. Reputations of kings don't do well after a marriage pact is broken by the other party without political reason at play. The reputation of a king would not survive unscathed if the one taking the decision to break up is a fiancée of no-noble origins. Arthur Pendragon the king would survive anyway, though battered in honour and soul, but not Arthur the man.
He listened to Merlin's advices, and Arthur is thankful for the way his friend suggested to not rush into the date Arthur had been planning. Grateful that he decided to apply patience for once. His heart would've never recovered, had Guinevere revealed her indecision during his proposal.
To respect a man whom she still loves and will be forever dearest to her, Gwen decides to not immediately throw herself in Lancelot's arms, and the knight does his best to be nothing but noble in his feelings for the woman, so much so to ask Arthur permission to date Guinevere. He is willing to leave the kingdom, if the king he has sworn loyalty to won't be able to tolerate his presence.
Aware of the toll he would ask them should he show his displeasure, Arthur gives his blessing to the blossoming new relationship between two of his dearest souls, wishing them both to find together the happiness they deserve.
They do take things slow, Gwen and Lancelot, they wait a reasonable amount of time before officially becoming a couple. Lancelot understands Gwen's heart, never will use Gwen's love for Arthur against her, for she cannot blame her for a love that he feels as well. He accepts Gwen as her whole, her love for Arthur is part of herself and never he will ask her to stop caring for Arthur.
Lancelot too cares for Arthur. Arthur is the prince who gave him a chance to be a knight, that twice believed in him, that made him a knight. In deference for Arthur's feelings, Lancelot keeps to a minimum affectionate gestures when in public and Arthur could see them. He is happy, Lancelot, but he does not want for his happiness to become a knife that cuts through Arthur's heart.
And Arthur?
Arthur will watch from afar, wishing that he too will be able to find a person to love him and him only. The one person that will put him first.
*
Days from Camelot, in a hut in the woods, Morgana watches a flame crackle, its warmth fending off the coldness in her body, but not the loneliness in her heart. Agravaine has left, Morgana now knows about the latest developments in the life of the little brother she despises so much.
Only now, that the game has played out, the true meaning of the cryptic words of the Cailleach is revealed to her. She has obtained what she desired the most, as Guinevere will never sit on the throne of Camelot, and Lancelot was the mean to achieve such an outcome. But Lancelot wasn't the sword that pierced Arthur's heart, as she planned. Neither Gwen nor Lancelot has been banished. And if Arthur's heart is bleeding, this is a secret that her little brother will keep to himself, a hidden truth held to even the most close to him.
Morgana can't find in herself the will for a smile. She has achieved what she had wished to accomplish, but it's not joy that fills her. She thought she would be pleased at the news, pleased for her visions forever adverted, for Arthur's dream of marrying for love mercilessly crushed. Instead, she feels sad. The coldness of the sorrows is what fills an heart that has long since forgot how to beat.
She has lost a sister forever, a sacrifice that didn't pay, and has once again used her knowledge of a brother to play a game bigger than each of them, and a once friend was turned a mere paw in the fight between Camelot and the Old Religion. She has left a life behind, burned all bridges behind. What's left of her now is that she has no more family to support her, no true friend to comfort her. No one but a lackey, an annoying dog who yaps at her left, begging for a scrap of affection, a man second only to a king, that kneels like a servant.
Only him, Agravaine, and his spare visits.
And the loneliness of an empty room.
For even a High Priestess, a goddess between mortals, can feel the cutting pain of solitude.
Artist: Hakka ( prue84 )
Fandom: BBC's Merlin (canon divergence, post-canon) AU
AU: The Royal Husbands
Pairing: Arthur/Guinevere, Lancelot/Guinevere, Arthur/Merlin (future)
Characters: Arthur Pendragon, Merlin, Guinevere, Lancelot.
Rating: G
Tagline: 1st canon divergence, Lancelot du Lac. Lancelot's selfless sacrifice is rewarded.
Series: Merlin AUs
About the AU: AU in which a series of canon divergences lead to Arthur surviving the mortal wound inflicted him by Mordred at Camlann and, with the help of Merlin who then becomes his Prince Consort, bringing the golden age foretold by the prophecies.
About the chapter: Lancelot is returned by magic, instead of necromancy, to fulfil his destiny at Arthur's side. And what seemed to be the written fate of Camelot is changed.
Notes: This edit dates back to 2018/2019 but was hold back because, buckle up... I couldn't work out the text part. Yes. Embarrassing, isn't it? How hard could it be write a lengthy summary/synopsis, right? Four years. Four fucking years.
In the year of the lord 2022, with the yearly goal to publish as much wips and finished-but-held-back works as I can, I sat down and forced myself to give a sense to the years-old draft. But still, it took me another year to finish this.
Notes 2: This series consists of 6 planned parts. The first one, of which this post is part of, is made of 8 chapters that cover all the canon divergences that lead to Arthur healing from his battle wound. The other five parts follow his (and Merlin's) life, the coming of the Golden Age, the birth of the new Pendragon generation, Arthur's rest and what Merlin will build during his husband's long sleep.
Tec stuffs (aka Behind The Manip): No manip nor modification required on this one, so nothing to report. Besides the fact that, when the edit was almost posted, I decided to add further scenes to better fit with the ficlet that was expanded.
Disclaimer: Don't own anything on this.
Crossposted: Dreamwidth, Deviantart, Tumblr. Text/ficlet only also on AO3 and SquidgeWorld.
Chapter I: The triangle of love
Through the sacrifice of her sister Morgause, who happily gives up her life in a last gesture of both love and revenge, Morgana tears open the Veil between the worlds, bringing chaos and pain throughout the realm of mortals. To seal the Veil again, another sacrifice has to be made: a sacrifice that Arthur is ready to make and Merlin is set to prevent. Lancelot, the bravest and most noble of them all, to save the lives of his king and his friend Merlin, steps through the Veil instead, thus restoring the equilibrium.
The ultimate sacrifice of the knight is greatly mourned by all the people Lancelot's presence has touched during his stay at Camelot, its weight forever heavy on the shoulders of three people who blame themselves for Lancelot's ultimate choice.
*
Months later happiness has returned to embrace Camelot. Arthur's grief for the tragic loss of his father is fading, and he feels it has finally come the time for the woman he loves to be officially introduced to the court. Trusting his counsel, Arthur confesses his uncle Agravaine that he wishes to marry Guinevere, and plans to soon propose. Caution, suggests Agravaine, wait for the mourning to end. The way must be paved first, for a court to accept a servant as their future queen. Patience, the uncle says.
But the treacherous Agravaine, distressed for the worrisome development, is quick to inform the one he pledged his loyalty to, Morgana Pendragon. The Witch shudders, for the dreams that plague her sleep are about to become reality. She will not allow for a servant to sit on her throne, and Morgana knows how to prevent the dreaded images from happen. Morgana was friends to Guinevere, Morgana knew Guinevere's secrets. Morgana will use those secrets to strike at Guinevere, where Guinevere hurts the most.
When she laid on the brink of death after her encounter with Emrys, Morgana met her sister Morgause in the Spirit World. In her hand, Morgause had a coin to offer, the price of a soul. Morgana held to the precious artefact, in the hopes to perhaps one day find a way to return her beloved sister to life, to rescue her from the darkness of the existence in the world of the spirits. But Morgana must stop Guinevere from becoming queen of Camelot, and she knows only one way to prevent it.
The Dochraid has spoken, revealing the true power of the magical coin, offering the promise of owning the very soul of a mortal, a slave to a mistress. Morgana reaches for the Pool of Nemhain, the Last of The Five Gateways that separate the world of the mortals from the world of the dead, and tosses the coin into the dark waters. But it's not a man who raises from the waters. It's a woman instead, clothed in a black cloak and bearing a staff, the fabric pitch black as the still water of the lake. Not a woman, a deity. A goddess Morgana already knows, for they have met once. The Cailleach, gatekeeper to the Spirit World. She has words to say, and a warning: her most treasured wish will be fulfilled, but the human male will not be the means to achieve it, for the one who has died will not be a Shade to be brought back to the land of the livings. Morgana does not understand, for she has followed the Dochraid instructions, and a coin has been paid for a soul, a soul she now owns. But the Cailleach can not be forced, for not even a High Priestess has such a power as the one the Cailleach wields. If the Cailleach does not want for a dead human to leave her domain, not even the last High Priestess of the Old Religion can force her.
Morgana weeps for the coin she lost, for the ownership she has been denied, for a sister she will never rescue, but agrees to leave. The Cailleach has spoken, Morgana trust her wish will be fulfilled. That the Old Religion itself will prevent Guinevere from marrying Arthur and ascend to a throne that isn't hers to own.
But the price has been paid, a soul is allowed to leave the Spirit World. Not as a Shade, but in flesh and spirit - whole as when death has claimed them. From the stillness a man emerges. Naked and confused, a kind voice still ringing in his head. Blurred memories but a mission. Return home, return to where his place is.
It takes days, weeks, but an extraordinary surprise awaits Camelot: Sir Lancelot, the man who had offered his life to save the kingdom, has returned.
Little he knows about the how and why he has been allowed back into the realm of the mortals: he only remembers the warm embrace of waters shining of silver, and a warm voice explaining him that his destiny was not fulfilled, that he wasn't meant to die yet. His noble sacrifice showed the truest nature of his heart, that feminine voice said, and he was granted another chance to live his life as brave and fair man between mortals. And thus he awoke again, and he was laying on the shores of a lake, with the urgency to find his way back to Camelot, the knowledge that his destiny is entwined to the fate of the one he twice left a prince and now finds a king.
A return such as his is unprecedented, for nobody can cross the Veil - not in the opposite direction than the only one nature commands. Merlin, suspicious, looks in his books for a way to explain what looks a miracle. Necromancy, is the answer to his search. A way to reveal the true nature of a Shade. Merlin dreads the moment when Lancelot will walk on the mark, dreads to see the painted spiral glow. But the magic symbol doesn't react when Lancelot walks over the circle.
The Lancelot leaving Merlin's room is whole - the one and only Sir Lancelot, Knight of Camelot.
The miracle is welcomed by his old friends the knights, who rejoice for the chance to have their group whole again, as is welcomed by the king, who is given the opportunity to properly thank the hero who saved Camelot. As for Merlin, he has been given back the only guardian of his magical secret and is lonely no more.
But the unexpected return means the most to Guinevere, who carried on her small but strong shoulders the weight of those last words, that plead she imposed on Lancelot. Arthur would not be alive, for it weren't for Lancelot's sacrifice. But his return also awakens old feelings that were believed forgotten.
As days and then weeks pass by, and as Arthur grows the courage to stand against his uncle and share what is now his decision, Gwen grows uncertain of her feelings, torn between the man she promised herself to, and the one she can't forget. Lancelot anguishes in silence over a woman he never deemed himself worthy of, resigned to forever be the silent guardian, devoted to his lady and quiet in his love.
Arthur, unsuspecting, is making preparations to propose to Gwen and then introduce her to the court as the woman who shall be their queen.
Merlin, the shadow that all sees, watches from afar, unable to stand further as three of his dearest friends struggle, their lives entwined in an rope that threatens to choke them all.
Lancelot, noble soul, deserves his chance at happiness, he shouldn't settle for the sidelines, resigned himself once again in a self-imposed sacrifice out of a misplaced sense of loyalty.
Gwen, a heart full of love, has the right to choose her own future, to make an informed choice, entitled the freedom of picking her own path without anyone meddling, without anyone making that choice for her.
Arthur, the beloved king, should never have to lay awake at night, wondering if the woman sleeping at his side picked him out of a lack of choice, believing that he will forever be the second best, nor he should never doubt his trust for a knight, in fear his best one holds the hearth of his queen.
Merlin, the shadow that fights against fate itself, decides it is come the time for Lancelot and Guinevere to confront each other, to bare their hearts. Twice Lancelot fled from an honest talk, twice Gwen was forbidden to face his first love and understand if she was ready to let him go and for Arthur to take his place. Twice Lancelot backed down, for Arthur to pave the way in Guinevere's heart. A miracle has happened, and neither Lancelot nor Guinevere can waste such a precious gift.
Arthur is planning to propose to Gwen against his uncle's advice, Merlin knows about it. Merlin will not allow for Guinevere to say yes to then break Arthur's heart, if she isn't the utmost confident in where her feelings lay. Merlin will be subtle, will halt Arthur's hand and delay the romantic date in which Arthur will offer Gwen a ring, but he cannot stop Arthur forever. Lancelot and Guinevere must talk.
It is with wisdom that Merlin speaks, and two friends are persuaded into the confrontation they both needed and avoided.
Gwen, blessed her pure soul, reveals the bitterness she tried to stifle. Despite the years passed since, she never forgave Lancelot for leaving her without a word after everything they shared at the castle of the outlaw Hengist, she still can't forgive him for their moments of tenderness, the closeness, the love confessions in light of certain death, for making her feel loved, for making her feel conflicted, to then take everything away, leaving her alone and hurting. She can't forgive him for how he returned for Merlin and how he staid for Arthur - never for her. She can't forgive Lancelot for how he treated her like a lady to respect and cherish, she can't forgive him for making her feel like a silly, fool girl, holding on to a love hindered by destiny itself.
Her whole life was influenced, changed, by his selfish decisions, pushed toward the dream of marrying a king after she had been brutally rejected a future with a man she had once truly loved. She loves Arthur with her whole being, but she can't seem to just forget what she felt for that man that was brought to her house in dire need of an armour.
Lancelot, forced to this confrontation, can't withhold the truth he kept close to his heart since his return for the battle of Camelot: Guinevere is the love of his life, the woman his heart will forever belong to, but every time destiny brought them together, he elected to withdraw and fade in the shadows, so she could find happiness with a better man - at Arthur's side.
Gwen is furious. Lancelot's decision deprived her of her own agency, he didn't have any right to choose for her who she wanted to love. For, if Lancelot hadn't left that one time, she might have reconsidered her relationship with Arthur. She would've chosen him - him, not Arthur.
This is a reveal for the both of them, but especially for Gwen. And then the hard truth buried within the deepest, darkest corner of her thoughts, is brought to the surface. And it's a relief, after the pain, after the guilt weighting on her heart, after the sense of unworthiness toward a man who had been ready to give up his throne, his crown, his people, his whole world, just for her.
She might be a servant harbouring dreams too big for her humble origins, but dumb Guinevere is not. It's easy now for her to admit that what she has with Arthur is a fairy tale that shouldn't be, for a servant can love a king, and a king can love a servant, but a kingdom cannot be ruled by a servant.
Torn between the love for a knight - or a man who dreamed to become a knight - and a king - or a prince that was to become a king - she was deprived of a choice, and Lancelot is responsible for what she now knows had been the wrong
choice.
She's the daughter of a smith, she knows the name for each part of an armour and could help a knight to dress up better than a manservant could, but she knows nothing about politics or what's expected from a ruler. She knows empathy, she does not know how to be harsh. She knows how to wield a sword and even kill to protect an innocent, but she does not think she would ever learn how to harden her hearth and send someone to death for the safety of a kingdom. She loves Arthur with all her life, and she ever will, but they should've never been. Arthur might belong to her, but Arthur also belong to Camelot, Arthur is and will always be married to a land and its people as much as he will be to a woman. Arthur accepts her - and wants her - for everything she is, virtues and flaws, but Camelot will not. Camelot will always come between them, the needs of Camelot will tear them apart. Duty and love cannot coexist, Uther was right, in his brutal honesty.
And she could never survive, should Arthur be forced to choose between her and his rightful, best destiny.
Not privy to the nature of the feelings Guinevere, her beloved Gwen, still harbours for the noblest of his knights, it is a rude awakening for Arthur when Guinevere sits down with him and talks. Unable to deceive Arthur, she tells him everything, about Lancelot, about the pain she had felt the two times he left her and the happiness that washed over her when he, against all odds, returned. She tells Arthur about how her heart belongs to two men she loves with the same intensity, how she is pulled in two directions and how she fears to be torn in two pieces. She tells him about how, for as much as her heart can beat for two men, only for one she can be a proper wife. She doesn't want to be the reason why Arthur lost the trust of his people, she doesn't want to be the reason why Arthur acted like a tyrant, imposing his own wish on a resentful court, not the reason for why Arthur fought with his most trusted counsellors or found himself alone surrounded by enemies in his own castle. She doesn't want to put Arthur in the position of choosing between love and duty - he was meant to rule, and he will be a good king, she won't come between that. She won't deprive Camelot of a golden age, just to please herself and fulfil her selfish wishes - for she is but a woman, and the well-being of the people of Camelot comes first. It pains her to know they never had a chance, yes, and she is aware that a price will be paid, for feelings cannot be ripped from one's heart without suffering occurring, but with resolution she found an internal peace and she feels her is and will be the rightful choice. For the both of them. She regrets nothing but hurting him, and she'll understand if he'll hate her. She just hopes that, in time, he'll be able to forgive her and, perhaps, remember with fondness their love.
Arthur's heart is broken, but he cannot find in himself the will to hate the woman he offered his heart to, nor a man who had been nothing but utmost loyal and generous since the first time they had met - a man Arthur can say he loves as much as Guinevere, though in a different way. There is nothing Arthur can blame on Guinevere: she cannot fault her for the same trait that drew him to her. Her candour is what started it all, the servant who ventured to reprimand a prince's manners, her candour is what now puts an end to it all, the torn lover who bravely confesses her secrets and faces the consequences, when leaving everything as it was would've been the easiest path.
Arthur's heart is broken, but Gwen's sincerity and bravery deserves equal bravery from him, thus he agrees to let her go. As friends. It would be unbecoming to act out of spite, and Guinevere does not deserve as such.
Arthur's heart is broken, but Arthur thus agrees to amicably break up a relationship that had been the utmost discreet so far, grateful for Guinevere's deep sense of loyalty. Grateful that she approached the subject before he could make the mistake of making their relationship official. Reputations of kings don't do well after a marriage pact is broken by the other party without political reason at play. The reputation of a king would not survive unscathed if the one taking the decision to break up is a fiancée of no-noble origins. Arthur Pendragon the king would survive anyway, though battered in honour and soul, but not Arthur the man.
He listened to Merlin's advices, and Arthur is thankful for the way his friend suggested to not rush into the date Arthur had been planning. Grateful that he decided to apply patience for once. His heart would've never recovered, had Guinevere revealed her indecision during his proposal.
To respect a man whom she still loves and will be forever dearest to her, Gwen decides to not immediately throw herself in Lancelot's arms, and the knight does his best to be nothing but noble in his feelings for the woman, so much so to ask Arthur permission to date Guinevere. He is willing to leave the kingdom, if the king he has sworn loyalty to won't be able to tolerate his presence.
Aware of the toll he would ask them should he show his displeasure, Arthur gives his blessing to the blossoming new relationship between two of his dearest souls, wishing them both to find together the happiness they deserve.
They do take things slow, Gwen and Lancelot, they wait a reasonable amount of time before officially becoming a couple. Lancelot understands Gwen's heart, never will use Gwen's love for Arthur against her, for she cannot blame her for a love that he feels as well. He accepts Gwen as her whole, her love for Arthur is part of herself and never he will ask her to stop caring for Arthur.
Lancelot too cares for Arthur. Arthur is the prince who gave him a chance to be a knight, that twice believed in him, that made him a knight. In deference for Arthur's feelings, Lancelot keeps to a minimum affectionate gestures when in public and Arthur could see them. He is happy, Lancelot, but he does not want for his happiness to become a knife that cuts through Arthur's heart.
And Arthur?
Arthur will watch from afar, wishing that he too will be able to find a person to love him and him only. The one person that will put him first.
*
Days from Camelot, in a hut in the woods, Morgana watches a flame crackle, its warmth fending off the coldness in her body, but not the loneliness in her heart. Agravaine has left, Morgana now knows about the latest developments in the life of the little brother she despises so much.
Only now, that the game has played out, the true meaning of the cryptic words of the Cailleach is revealed to her. She has obtained what she desired the most, as Guinevere will never sit on the throne of Camelot, and Lancelot was the mean to achieve such an outcome. But Lancelot wasn't the sword that pierced Arthur's heart, as she planned. Neither Gwen nor Lancelot has been banished. And if Arthur's heart is bleeding, this is a secret that her little brother will keep to himself, a hidden truth held to even the most close to him.
Morgana can't find in herself the will for a smile. She has achieved what she had wished to accomplish, but it's not joy that fills her. She thought she would be pleased at the news, pleased for her visions forever adverted, for Arthur's dream of marrying for love mercilessly crushed. Instead, she feels sad. The coldness of the sorrows is what fills an heart that has long since forgot how to beat.
She has lost a sister forever, a sacrifice that didn't pay, and has once again used her knowledge of a brother to play a game bigger than each of them, and a once friend was turned a mere paw in the fight between Camelot and the Old Religion. She has left a life behind, burned all bridges behind. What's left of her now is that she has no more family to support her, no true friend to comfort her. No one but a lackey, an annoying dog who yaps at her left, begging for a scrap of affection, a man second only to a king, that kneels like a servant.
Only him, Agravaine, and his spare visits.
And the loneliness of an empty room.
For even a High Priestess, a goddess between mortals, can feel the cutting pain of solitude.