The Weekend...
...was lovely, and I don't just mean the weather. Those of you who read me regularly probably know that the last few weeks have been a bit difficult for me. Things have been working themselves out slowly, but now I am finally completely relaxed for the first time in a while. Anna had that great appointment with the therapist, and we had some good conversations following it about where exactly she wants to go with her transition, and what it will mean for us and our friends and family. The therapist talked to Anna about the falsity of the gender dichotomy, and the fact that she doesn't have to aspire to be more like a woman necessarily, but just needs to find herself, whatever that may entail mentally and physically. It mirrored some of the thoughts she has had about herself, and her identity as it exists free of gender, and I think it was very comforting to hear the same thing from someone else, and a "professional" at that.
Anyway, she has been happier, and so have I. Saturday night we went on a lovely night bike down to the waterfront, and then came back to my place and had a great photo shoot. Anna has been taking pictures of herself in her girl clothes for many years, and has some great shots, but it is never easy to photograph yourself, and so I have been trying to get her to let me do it (I am a big photography buff). She finally did! We got some really great shots, and I am toying with the idea of posting them on here. I wanted this blog to be perfectly private and untraceable, but as I have read my friends blogs and read their comments on mine I feel I have gotten to know you people, and I very much want to share Anna with you! I can always post them to be visible to friends only.
After our photo shoot Anna and I had some deep talk of the kind that rarely happens before midnight. I told her a little bit about how her depression affects me, and she admitted to me that she often doesn't know why she is depressed, and has been trying to work through it for my sake because she doesn't feel she has much to be depressed about anymore. I would like to bring up the conversation again, and share my theory that the brain gets in the habit of depression, and thus continues feeling depressed even after the causes that initially brought on the depression have faded. Neither of us are fans of anti-depressants, so I would try just about anything before suggesting she try them. We also talked about her starting hormones soon, and when to tell her family, and so on. [by the way, if anyone knows anything about diabetes, and how it affects HRT, please share your knowledge] We also talked about Anna's frustration with MySpace. She has no other trans friends, and started her myspace in order to meet some in our area, but so far she has gotten mostly perverted solicitations from older men and invitations from swinger couples! I told her about how impressed I have been with LJ, and the above-average intelligence of all the people I have met on here. I have been thinking of posting a shout-out to people in my area to try to meet some interesting trans folks and their partners, but again I am struggling with my initial desire to keep this blog private.
We also had some fantastic bedroom time, and, well let's be honest... living room time and shower time as well! Having a fulfilling sex life is so wonderful. I never would have guessed that I had such a capacity for it, but Anna makes me feel so good and so comfortable. We have chemistry in a way that, before her, I thought must be a myth invented by the romantic movie industry. I get lost in her eyes... LOL, sounds cheesy but its true. She is the first person I have ever loved that I tried not to love (because I was with someone else when we met), and failed miserably! Although it was not an ideal situation, sometimes I am glad it happened that way, because it showed me how powerful love can be, and how irresistible.
Okay, now I am bordering on a total cheesy meltdown, so I had better quit before the analogies start flowing in an unstoppable river of rose petals... Oh shit, its starting!
-h
Anyway, she has been happier, and so have I. Saturday night we went on a lovely night bike down to the waterfront, and then came back to my place and had a great photo shoot. Anna has been taking pictures of herself in her girl clothes for many years, and has some great shots, but it is never easy to photograph yourself, and so I have been trying to get her to let me do it (I am a big photography buff). She finally did! We got some really great shots, and I am toying with the idea of posting them on here. I wanted this blog to be perfectly private and untraceable, but as I have read my friends blogs and read their comments on mine I feel I have gotten to know you people, and I very much want to share Anna with you! I can always post them to be visible to friends only.
After our photo shoot Anna and I had some deep talk of the kind that rarely happens before midnight. I told her a little bit about how her depression affects me, and she admitted to me that she often doesn't know why she is depressed, and has been trying to work through it for my sake because she doesn't feel she has much to be depressed about anymore. I would like to bring up the conversation again, and share my theory that the brain gets in the habit of depression, and thus continues feeling depressed even after the causes that initially brought on the depression have faded. Neither of us are fans of anti-depressants, so I would try just about anything before suggesting she try them. We also talked about her starting hormones soon, and when to tell her family, and so on. [by the way, if anyone knows anything about diabetes, and how it affects HRT, please share your knowledge] We also talked about Anna's frustration with MySpace. She has no other trans friends, and started her myspace in order to meet some in our area, but so far she has gotten mostly perverted solicitations from older men and invitations from swinger couples! I told her about how impressed I have been with LJ, and the above-average intelligence of all the people I have met on here. I have been thinking of posting a shout-out to people in my area to try to meet some interesting trans folks and their partners, but again I am struggling with my initial desire to keep this blog private.
We also had some fantastic bedroom time, and, well let's be honest... living room time and shower time as well! Having a fulfilling sex life is so wonderful. I never would have guessed that I had such a capacity for it, but Anna makes me feel so good and so comfortable. We have chemistry in a way that, before her, I thought must be a myth invented by the romantic movie industry. I get lost in her eyes... LOL, sounds cheesy but its true. She is the first person I have ever loved that I tried not to love (because I was with someone else when we met), and failed miserably! Although it was not an ideal situation, sometimes I am glad it happened that way, because it showed me how powerful love can be, and how irresistible.
Okay, now I am bordering on a total cheesy meltdown, so I had better quit before the analogies start flowing in an unstoppable river of rose petals... Oh shit, its starting!
-h