Comments | prtyldy: Is communication always best?

prtyldy

Is communication always best?

Mar 19, 2008 10:59

I told Anna, sort of unintentionally, that I have a private blog. I wanted to share with her some of the insights I have gotten from all of you who have been so helpful, and kind of had to tell where the info came from... And she is a bit upset that I dont want her to read it ( Read more... )

Comments 4

sorasabi March 19 2008, 18:59:21 UTC

I would say, no, don't let her read this. Not because you have anything to hide, but when your partner reads your blog you DO start censoring yourself. Sometimes we all need to vent and rant, say stuff that makes us sound angrier or more upset than we really are, just to get it out of our systems. You aren't "keeping secrets" from her, it's a matter of privacy and she should respect that ( ... )

rinkori March 20 2008, 21:39:37 UTC

I guess you have to negotiate the difference between private and secret, if that makes sense.

I would be uncomfortable, for example, if my partner wanted to join partners_of_tg or something, because stuff I say there just isn't intended for him to read. It's not secret, it's stuff I discuss with him, but at the same time--it's a safe space to be able to express my thoughts without tailoring them to for his reception.

imago_01 March 21 2008, 15:17:53 UTC

Hmmm, I'm not sure. My partner and I are pretty open with each other, but we're not going through the same about of strain that you are right now. You definitely do have a right to privacy.

The way I see it, there are probably things you say to friends in person that you wouldn't say to her, either. This is kind of the same thing, just online. One thing you could do is set up a "not Anna" filter, so she could read some of your blog, but not all of it.

outofsynch March 22 2008, 22:20:09 UTC

really, ask her not to feel threatened about it. and let her know that you need a place to process things and a little bit of privacy for that.

It's not about secrets and it's not about keeping things from her, especially if what you write about you eventually bring to her to discuss.

Just let her know it's your place to think through things so you know what you want to say and don't have to stumble "on the spot" and say something stupid.

Hopefully she can understand.

I've got my own private journal I started when I went into therapy because I had a lot of turmoil and emotions I wanted to process and I couldn't do that if I thought people I knew were reading them.

I hope she can see it's not a threat to her or your feelings towards her.