We made it! .....barely....xD Pt. 2
Name: Christmas Miracles
Verse: G1
Rating: PG 13
Disclaimer: Not ours! The authors just like to play with the characters! ^^
Summary: Just another normal day at the Arc...wait, isn't it Christmas Eve tonight? Party!
Genre: Crack, crack, crack, fluff, crack, crack, fluff, fluff, did I mention crack? What about fluff? And more crack! ^^
AN : A Collaboration written with the amazing pxjloverkyoto for the December Challenge 2011. We used a couple of prompts to write this. It turned out longer than expected - over 23 pages! This collaboration really brought us together more! We hope you enjoy and have fun while reading it because we sure did have fun while writing it! ^^
Hound x Mirage brought to you by pxjloverkyoto
Prowl x Jazz brought to you by pjlover666
Happy Holidays from pjlover666and pxjloverkyoto ^^ xD
We're going to post it in three parts - it's simply too long for a single post - it gave us the forbidden word - error...
Part TWO:
Before the 'incident'...
As they made their way to the wash racks, they passed in front of the aptly named "danger zone"; aka, Wheeljack's Lab.
They tried to make their way as quickly as possible, but Hound, the ever curious 'bot that he is, stopped when he heard very loud, very creative cursing coming from beyond the closed lab doors. Huh, looks like someone's been spending a little too much time with Ratchet…
Deciding to ignore his survival instincts, and his mate's vigorous "stop, don't", he opened the door and carefully peeked his head in; praying to Primus he didn't get it blown off.
"Uh, Jack? You ok in here? Me and Raj heard some pretty, uh…colorful cursing and…"
"Fragging- huh? Oh! Hound! Um, yeah, sorry about that…I've been working on this fragging thing for the past few hours and I'm starting to get really frustrated…" 'Jack replied sheepishly, his helm fins flashing between an embarrassed pink and a frustrated orange red.
"Oh. What is it?"
"It's a weather gun! Y'know how we've been having non-stop snow for the last deca-cycle? Well, I decided to make this so's we can have at least one day of nice, warm sunshine. Just to thaw our joints out, o' course!"
Mirage had quietly, and quite apprehensively, joined his mate in the crazy -er, I mean- happy go lucky scientist's lab; wearily looking around and tensed in preparation for a quick escape, his arm already close enough to grab Hound, if necessary. "Hmm, a day of sun would be delightful, but that just means that the snow will melt and make the roads all muddy and slushy. I'm not sure that's any better…"
Mud? Hound visibly perked up at the sound of the word, his optics brightening just slightly in anticipation, "Well, maybe if you try it the human way, like Sparkplug and Spike do."
"The human way?" The scientist tilted his helm, his fins flickering in curiosity, "What way is that?"
"Bang it against the table!"
Silence.
Oh, how Mirage just wanted to kill the scout at that moment…
"Hey, that's not a bad idea! Thanks, Hound!"
"No problem, Whee- Ow! Hey! Mirage? What-OW!"
The scout wasn't able to finish his sentence, as he was now being furiously, and painfully, pulled out of the labs and down the hallway, by his winch cable, by an equally furious noble.
"Are you glitching? Did you not realize you were telling Wheeljack, the mech who managed to make a working duct tape and baking soda cannon (which, somehow, exploded after the second shot), to hit an un-tested gun against a table? Are you trying to get us all killed and save the Decepticon's the trouble?"
Oh, right. Oops.
"Sorry, Raj." He said contritely, trying to make himself as small as possible to try and appease his angry bondmate.
"Not as sorry as you'll be when 'Jack- Wait, do you hear that?"
The spy's rant was cut off as they reached the wash racks' entrance, only to stop when he heard some rather…interesting noises, coming from inside.
"Hear wha-" He was cut off mid-sentence by a rather loud moan. "Oh, that." He blushed furiously when he realized they were about to interrupt a pair of bots' rather…intimate moment.
"Uh, Raj..? I think we should- Raj! What are you doing?"
The spy ignored his mate's whispered scold, as he let his Spec Ops training and ingrained curiosity take over.
"Raj, wait-!"
"Shhh, be quiet!"
As both mechs entered and rounded the small corridor into the wash stalls, they both stopped mid step at the sight that greeted them. Was that…?
Another loud moan and a deep growl snapped them out of their daze; both of them rebooting their optics to make sure they weren't seeing things.
*Please, tell me I'm not seeing this, Raj…*
*Oh, it's real, love. And I am not going to miss this chance for blackmail material, not to mention payback after Prowl interrupted our reunion after that very long mission last week…*
The scout could practically taste his bonded's mischievous glee and amusement; he couldn't keep a small grin and muffled giggle that escaped him, *Oh love, you're evil…*
*Hmph, that's nothing. Watch this.*
Taking an image capture of his SIC and TIC's compromising position against the wash rack wall, he made his presence known by whistling very loudly and he couldn't help but smirk almost evilly at the mechs' reactions and subsequent, ungraceful fall. His smirk widened when his mate started giggling and decided to join in his mischievous mood.
"Told you Jazz was on top." Hound grinned mischievously at him.
"It would appear so," Murmured the spy as he eyed the still revved up mechs in front of them, his smirk still in place.
"Aww, if you liked the show, why did ya stop us?"
"Jazz!"
"What? It's true!"
The spy and scout watched in unhidden amusement at the black and whites' interactions, and even more mirth when Prowl turned to face them, trying to look professional and pretend like hadn't been about to ravage his mate against the shower stall wall.
"Jazz and I-"
"Just you babe." The saboteur smirked as he interrupted his mate.
"I…would appreciate it if neither of you mention this...incident to anyone." Prowl tried to use his 'officer mode' voice, but failed miserably because of the giggling Jazz next to him.
"Do not concern yourself." Mirage answered calmly, although a tiny smirk still played at the corner of his lip plates, "This was a… incident after all." He'd said so nonchalant and matter-of-fact, that both Jazz and Hound full out laughed.
Then, the noble and his mate watched as the other couple exited the room, probably intent on finishing what they'd started somewhere else.
"Well, that was rather interesting, don't you think, Hound?"
"Oh Primus, Raj! Hahaha, you- you're so bad!" The scout replied between bouts of giggles, still a little embarrassed from catching their superior officers in such a private moment, but still unable to stop laughing at his mate's blasé attitude towards what just happened.
"Hmph, they deserved it. After all, things like that are meant to be done in the privacy of ones berthroom." Mirage answered with a haughty air, "Now, on to business. We still need to get you washed for the party tonight."
With one last snicker, the scout went to join his mate under the shower, when he noticed the small sprig of mistletoe hanging from the shower nozzle. Smirking deviously, he quietly sneaked up on the noble and quickly grabbed him by his hips, turning him around to face him, covering the ivory lip plates with his own.
The reaction was pretty instantaneous, and predictable; especially when his servos started to wander down from the shiny blue hips…
"Hound! What in Cybertron's name do you think you're doing?"
"Kissing my mate under the mistletoe." Was Hound's cheeky, mock-innocent answer, and he tried to reclaim those lovely lips, but Mirage would have none of it.
"Are you malfunctioning? We just walked in on Prowl and Jazz; do you want the same to happen to us?" It was meant to be a rhetorical question, but by the look on the nature lover's face, he didn't seem to think it'd be much of a problem.
"So? You can turn invisible, and I can very easily form a hologram around us…" He whispered teasingly, sneakily running his servo down to Mirage's shapely aft and stealing a small pinch.
The undignified squeak and blushing, disbelieving stare he received was more than worth whatever punishment the noble was sure to dish out later in the night.
"Hound! You-you-!" He tried to come up with some insult for his mate when his back suddenly met the wall; he hadn't realized he was being backed against the wall.
His hands scrabbled slightly, whether it was to find something to hit the scout with or just to hold on to, he blinked in surprise, then smirked in victory when his right servo found the control for the shower's cold water.
He let the look melt into a coy, promising smile, as he purred lowly, "Hooound…"
Oh, the look of surprise on his face, followed by the sudden loud rev of his engine made what he was about to do all the better.
"Let's get all that dirt off, hmm?"
The mech's look of confusion on the mech's face was priceless; but not as much as the un-mechly shriek that he emitted when he was pushed under the nozzle and the spy turned the cold water full blast.
"M-m-mirage! St-stop! It's c-c-cold!"
"Hmph, that'll teach you, for trying to be more devious than a Spec Ops mech." He mock-scolded, then adjusted the water to a warmer temperature, "Now, will you keep trying to interrupt your wash?"
The green mech just pouted and crossed his arms sullenly, like a sparkling that just had his favorite toy taken from him. "No, Raj."
"Oh stop pouting, you overgrown sparkling. I'm just trying to get you nice and clean for the party, or would you prefer we stay in our quarters. All. Night." He grinned coyly down at the slightly shorter mech; secretly hoping that he would say 'yes', just so he didn't have to join that Twin high-grade induced chaos they called a 'Christmas party'.
"Oh no, Raj, you're not getting out of your promise that easily." The scout quickly regained his cheerfulness, unable to hide a small giggle at his bondmate's defeated expression.
"Very well. Now, hold still while I-"
KABOOOOOOOOOM!
Both mechs almost fell on their afts from the force of the apparent explosion; barely managing to hold on to one another for balance.
"What the Pit was that?"
The noble merely glared balefully at the naïve scout, and deadpanned "Do you truly need to ask, Hound?"
"Oh, right. Sorry." He grinned apologetically and tried to make himself as small and innocent looking as possible to the quietly seething Towers' mech.
Ignoring said scout's puppy dog look, Mirage straightened himself and headed for the door, his voice bored and exasperated, "Come on, Hound. Let's see what kind of damage Wheeljack inflicted upon himself and the Ark now…"
He was barely out the door…when he slipped on a patch of ice and almost fell on his aft, again, if not for Hound deftly catching him and holding him up.
"What in…?"
"It's snow…" Was Hound's awed whisper.
"What? Snow?" The spy looked out the door and down the hallway; it was snow! And there were a few mech sized snow mounds here and there, too…
There was snow and ice inside the Ark! But, how…?
Wheeljack's invention. Of course.
The spy took a deep intake and let it out in a slow sigh; well, this was just perfect.
"Come on, Hound, let's go see what other poor sparks were affected by this…snow in."
"But-But what about Wheeljack?"
"…Let Ratchet take care of him."
The scout shut up after the testy answer, quietly and obediently following the noble.
Although, the sight that greeted them when they entered the Rec. Room was enough for them to stop at the doorway and just stare.
The entire room looked like a scene from one of Bluestreak's Disney movies.
There was at least five feet of snow covering the floor and glittering icicles were hanging from the ceiling. And a few unfortunate mechs that were, apparently, caught by the intial blast and were now doing a rather accurate impersonations of snow men. Or mechs, as the situation showed.
The noble could hear his mate's attempts to keep his laughter down; and he couldn't blame him, some of the positions the mechs were caught in looked very awkward and uncomfortable. Not to mention the resigned and frustrated looks on the pair of black and whites' that were helping to dig out and defrost said mechs was just too much.
It was pretty obvious they still hadn't been able to find some 'alone time'. He smirked.
"Come, love, let's find somewhere to sit and get some energon."
"Energon? Wait, Raj, I thought we were gonna help the mechs…"
"Oh, but Prowl and Jazz are doing such a fine job by themselves, I don't want to get in their way…" He tried to sound as sincere as possible, which was completely ruined by the evil smirk curving his lips.
The scout merely sighed in exasperation. His mate was really vindictive; there was a reason he avoided getting him mad as much as possible.
They barely made it to the Energon dispenser when…
"Hey, Hound, heads up!"
Hound turned to see what Sideswipe was doing…when a white blurry…thing went whizzing by his helm. He had no time to process when he heard a loud CLANK! And very colorful cursing coming from his mate. Oh, no…
Wiping the snow from his faceplates, the look on Mirage's face would've been enough to send even Megatron running back to the ocean. "Sidewipe…."
He was so angry, he didn't even think of the consequences of what he did next.
He kneeled down, grabbed a servoful of snow, made a rude ball and threw it at the nearvously smiling frontliner.
And, of course, he just had to miss today. As with a small yelp, Sides dropped to his stomach plating, dodging the snowball, letting the ball to continue its trajectory…
And hitting, with a very loud CLANG, the back of the pranker's sociopathic brother's helm.
Well, slag.
Before the big BOOM...
The bonded black and white pair walked down the hall, Prowl dragging Jazz.
“I have never been so humiliated in my entire functioning.” Prowl muttered to himself.
“Well, ya did start it...” Jazz trailed off and threw his servos up in defense “What, it’s true!” He defended himself when Prowl glared. “And besides, there was that time when you were off-line in the Hatchet’s med bay. You were moaning my name and-”
“I think I remember that, Jazz.” Prowl growled, increasing his pace, all the while dragging a still smiling Jazz.
The visored mech couldn't help but laugh as he followed the pissed off Praxian.
“Aww, yer just mad ‘cause ya weren’t able to get some…” The saboteur sing-songed teasingly.
Prowl stopped and turned to look at Jazz, his wings up high, making Jazz feel even smaller. “Jazz, trust me. If I wanted some, I would have gotten some.” His voice dropped a couple of octaves.
Jazz smiled and stepped closer, their lips almost touching. “Then prove it cop-bot. You got rid of all of my icicles, but Ah never even got the chance to see yours.” Jazz 's smile could have broken his face because of the way Prowl was blushing; it was simply adorable.
“Hmmm,” Prowl hummed. “Then what about you, me and that icicle find a room?” The Praxian purred.
“Ohoo Pr- Wait, do ya hear that?”
“Oh yes...wait. Why are we entering Wheeljack's lab?” He growled out in frustration. Was it really that difficult to frag his mate when they were both off duty? Apparently.
“Uhhh, 'Jack? Why are ya hitting that thing on the table?” Jazz questioned as Prowl entered the lab.
“Oh, hi again, guys. Well I was growing really frustrated with my progress, or lack thereof, and a while ago Hound and Mirage passed by.” His fins started to glow. “Hound suggested to hit it a couple of times. That was how Mirage fixed his disruptor when it was malfunctioning. Although Mirage said not to mention that....” He trailed off.
“I'm going to have to have a few words with Hound. Was he in his right mind to suggest that to Wheeljack? Wheeljack!” Prowl whisper-yelled to his mate.
“Yeah, sure. Just leave my spec. ops agent in one piece.” Jazz looked at Wheeljack who had returned to hitting the damn thing again. “Uhh, love. Ah think we better go. Jack's fins are rainbow color.”
“So? Wait Jazz, there is no such color.” Prowl crossed his arms.
“Oh yes there is, look.” Jazz pointed at the inventor. “And as ops, mah job is to notice these things. And my previous observations state that when his fins turn rainbow all 'bots in a five mile radius must flee. Plus he's hitting it on the table.”
Prowl looked at Wheeljack, then back at his mate, then back at the mad scientist, and took his mate’s hand and fled the room.
They were barely a few feet from the lab, when Jazz noticed the red and orange mech heading their way, although he hadn’t noticed them yet.
“Aww scrap! It's Blaster! Hide!” Jazz shoved Prowl in the nearest room.
“Jazz, why are you hiding from Blaster of all mechs?” Prowl questioned while Jazz squirmed in the tight spot. They were apparently in a closet.
“Sorry love, he keeps on asking my opinion on Christmas songs. Ah have nothing against that, but if Ah hear one more version of the song 'White Christmas' mah CPU will glitch.” He looked up.
“Sneaky little glitches.” Jazz murmured while grinning and pointed up to the confused Prowl.
“They put it there because of Bluestreak, didn't they?” Prowl protectively growled as he eyed the mistletoe hanging over them, it was surely the work of the twins.
“Probably, but we could make use of it as well.” Jazz said, voice becoming more lustful. Prowl smirked.
“Yes.” His lips almost touching Jazz's. “It would be a waste of tradition if we didn't.” And planted a heated kiss over Jazz's mouth.
They started mapping each other’s bodies, knowing exactly which touch brought the most pleasure. Jazz's hands found Prowl’s wings and was quick to start sending magnetic pulses causing Prowl to shudder. The SIC stopped kissing Jazz on the lips and with kisses he made his way up to one of the helm horns, gently teasing it, knowing the lighter touch maddened Jazz.
Their frames were boiling, fans working overtime to cool them down. They intertwined their fingers as both lips found each other again, glossas dancing together and neither growing tired.
Prowl hands lingered of Jazz's incredibly hot port.
“Open for me, love.” He breathed in Jazz's audio.
KA-BOOOOOOOOM~!!!
The two lovers fell from the force of the blast, the whole Arc shaken up. This time Jazz landed on top of Prowl and the two looked at each other flustered.
“Oh, come. The frag. On!” Jazz literally growled. As much as he enjoyed teasing Prowl, he was getting frustrated as well. Quite, actually.
“I was, until Wheeljack decided hitting the thing didn't work.” Prowl spoke and shifted himself so that he wasn't crushing his wings. Both mechs were hot and wet from condensation...wait, why would there be condensation inside of the Arc?
“Ah'll kill 'im.”
“We better check if he injured himself or others first.” Prowl pulled the still flustered Jazz up - not that he was any better himself. Twice their charge was built and both times it wasn't released. If this wasn't frustrating, Prowl didn't knew what was.
“Oh, Ah'm just going for the after show. Hatchet has specifically asked no injuries during the holidays.” Jazz smiled wickedly and opened the door.
In a matter of seconds the two of them were buried under a pile of snow.
“Well, this is new.” Jazz looked over at Prowl, noticing steam coming from frame. He was in no better shape. But the cold felt wonderful against their heated plating.
“Just when I thought things can't get any crazier…” Prowl grumbled as the two of them literally dug themselves out of the closet.
::Situation report:: Prowl ordered over the comm lines.
:: Pffft, as if you need to ask. 'Jack blew himself up again. Hatchet's on the rampage with his med bay under snow and all. Sunshine and Tracks are whining about their finish, Hound is ecstatic, Red glitched, so nothing out of the ordinary:: It was Sideswipe of all 'bots that briefed them.
::We could use your help in the rec room. Besides from 'Jacks lab, it took the hardest hit:: The front-liner said.
::What does OP think of this?:: Jazz joined the conversation.
:: No idea, haven't seen the big guy or Elita all morning::
Prowl and Jazz shared a frustrated and knowing glance, “Lucky slagger…”
== Prime's quarters ==
“Ready to conquer the mountain, Orion?” Elita asked while sitting in a provocative pose on top of a pile of snow the quarters of the bearer of the Matrix.
The response she got was steam coming off Primes' plating where it touched the snow.
== Rec room ==
“It's a winter wonderland.” Jazz breathed as he observed the completely snow covered room.
“Pit, there's even bot's frozen in place while covered in snow 'ere!” Jazz exclaimed as he and Prowl turned to look at the mini-bots that were frozen in place, frames covered in snow like snowmen (or mech in their case).
“We probably should help them.” Prowl sighed and headed towards Bumblebee, the poor bot frozen in an awkward position.
“Oh yeah, 'Jack’s weather machine breaks and we're the ones who get to clean up!” Jazz complained while digging out Cliffjumper.
“Hound's in for a triple shift and a visit to Ratchet *grumble* What was the mech thinking suggesting that to Wheeljack....*grumble*” Prowl muttered under his breath.
Jazz was about to say something to the grumbling tactician when Bluestreak suddenly popped out of nowhere next to Prowl.
“Ummm Prowl....I know you and Jazz are busy right now with the mini bots and all, and that there are more important things to attend to but I really think you should interrupt this before it got out of control. Sunny was pretty pissed before because of the snow and- WATCH OUT!” With instincts carved by war Bluestreak pushed Prowl on the ground as they dodged a huge snowball.
“What the-”
“Ohhh, he's pissed.” Prowl heard Jazz mutter and followed his gaze to the murderous looking Sunstreaker.
Prowl shooed the gunner off him and stood up. “Sunstreaker! Stop this right now. That's an order soldier! Oofff!” His rant was cut short by a snow ball directly in the face.
“You've been givin' him lessons Blue, haven’t you?” Jazz asked the gunner referring to Sunstreaker’s quite good aim, who in the mean time was using his brother as a shield.
The saboteur and gunner watched as the snowball fight escalated, everyone stopped cleaning and simply throwing snow at each other. No one but Jazz saw the slowly rising form of the tactician and winced at the sharp “V” his wings snapped to.
“Sunstreaker....” The Praxian was pissed.
However whatever he was about to say or do would forever be unknown as the door to the rec room burst open and a rather worried Wheeljack came in sporting a few rather painful looking dents, courtesy of the resident medic.
“Oh no! Oh no! It's gone! It's gone!” He looked around frantically. “I've lost it!!!”
The entire room when quiet as all stopped what they were doing.
“Lost what? Your mind? We already knew that. Geez.” Sideswipe's voice broke the silence but someone shoved a snowball in his face.
“No, no! My weather machine gun! I've lost it and can't find it!”
“Big whoop! So what's that thing gonna do anyway? Make it sunny forever? That's not so bad.” A half frozen Huffer whined.
“But you don't understand! In the wrong hands it can destroy mankind!” The inventor winced when he looked around the total annihilation of the rec room.
“Name one of your inventions that can't destroy mankind?” Jazz couldn't help but ask, still slightly pissed at the mad scientist for ruining his time with Prowl.
“We're getting off topic here mechs. Wheeljack, are you certain that you've misplaced it or was it stolen?” But with Prowl there, things always were straight to the point.
“I'm not sure - one moment it was there, the next gone!”
“I'm sure the same happened to your CPU.” A grumbling Ratchet came accompanied by Prime and Elita. “I have to spend the next four hours defragging Red's CPU because of the stunt you pulled.”
The inventor gulped and looked ashamedly at the ground.
“Well this is a bust.” Jazz went and slumped next to Prowl, mood slightly on the downside.
“Patience, Jazz. Sooner or later we will have our time alone.”
“Patience you say. Said by the 'bot who growls more times than a rabid dog and was in kill mode two klicks ago.” Jazz sent amusement over the bond.
“Hound.” The SIC called. “You’re a tracker. Surely you can help Wheeljack find his missing gun. The rest of you that aren't on shift - resume cleaning the base.” Prowl ordered and the fact that Hound and Mirage were lazing around didn't go unnoticed.
His wings twitched as he motioned with his head for the tracker to go with Wheeljack at the same time Jazz was making peace signs, silently pleading for them to comply with his mate, who obviously had a bad case of mood swings.
“You know, sometimes I wonder who's really in command?” Ratchet asked as he helped a still frozen Bumblebee.
Prime could only sigh as he and Elita went to help the rest of the crew.
“So…what now? We go back to cleaning snow?” The saboteur asked, still sitting on the ground. At the unamused look Prowl gave him, he moaned pitifully and flopped back on the snow covered ground, never seeing who planted a snowball in his face.