We made it! .....barely....xD Pt. 1
Name: Christmas Miracles
Verse: G1
Rating: PG 13
Disclaimer: Not ours! The authors just like to play with the characters! ^^
Summary: Just another normal day at the Arc...wait, isn't it Christmas Eve tonight? Party!
Genre: Crack, crack, crack, fluff, crack, crack, fluff, fluff, did I mention crack? What about fluff? And more crack! ^^
AN : A Collaboration written with the amazing pxjloverkyoto for the December Challenge 2011. We used a couple of prompts to write this. It turned out longer than expected - over 23 pages! This collaboration really brought us together more! We hope you enjoy and have fun while reading it because we sure did have fun while writing it! ^^
Hound x Mirage brought to you by pxjloverkyoto
Prowl x Jazz brought to you by pjlover666
Happy Holidays for pjlover666 and pxjloverkyoto ^^ xD
We're going to post it in three parts - it's simply too long for a single post - it gave us the forbidden word - error...
But if you want to read it as a single chapter, please visit HERE (but leave the comments here so pxjloverkyoto could read them)
After having lived on Earth for so many of their local stellar cycles, the Autobots had become more than accustomed to their human friends' culture and traditions. Especially their holiday traditions.
That was why the scene in the Rec. Room consisted of Sideswipe and Bluestreak trying to hang up a bunch red and green Christmas lights while Sunstreaker pointed where one end should be higher than the other and no, it should be more to the left…
Most of the other mechs that were of duty could be found doing similar chores; hanging wreaths on door panels and setting up a space where the tree would go.
And, unbeknown to them, they were being watched with bemusement by a certain invisible, noble spy.
Mirage was disappointed, and a little miffed, as he was every year during this time, that his colleagues would spend so much time working on a human holiday when they barely even remembered their own holidays and traditions!
How could they possibly replace their own world for this one, especially when reclaiming Cybertron was the reason they were in a slagging war in the first place!
Yes, he was moody, and had even been called Scrooge by one of the minis, he wasn't sure what it meant, but by the way the others laughed, he knew it wasn't something flattering.
The only one who still remembered and celebrated the cybertronian holidays with him was Hound, his own bondmate.
Letting a small smile inch up his lip plates, as it always did when thinking of Hound, he looked around the room trying to locate his nature loving mate. But he wasn't anywhere to be seen.
Looking up the schedule, he saw that the scout wasn't on duty, so he should be here…
'So, where is that lovable, enthusiastic mate of mine…?'
Sending a questioning pulse through their bond, all he received was a feeling of accomplishment and triumph. This only confused him more, and he sent that confusion back to Hound.
He got a burst of mischief and a "Just wait and see~"
Now his curiosity was peaked, although the feeling of mischief came only when they were in their quarters, alone…
But before his thought processes could reach the 'not meant for public' area, a sudden commotion at the Rec. Room's entrance caught his attention.
"Holy slag, Hound! How tall is that tree?" Bumblebee shouted excitedly.
And there was Hound, mussed up, smelling of pine and looking utterly triumphant, the giant smile on his faceplates was any indication, dragging a gigantic, even by cybertronian standards, evergreen pine tree behind him.
"Found it at the top of the mountain, just beyond the forest here! Isn't a gorgeous example of its species?" The tracker sounded almost proud of his achievement, even though his delighted grin could never reach the proud and pompous levels that Sunstreaker and Tracks' looks could.
"Besides, you guys did ask for the biggest I could find!"
"Yeah, but we didn't think they came in Devestator size!" Was Sideswipe's cheeky comment.
"How are we supposed to decorate it if we can barely reach it?" Huffer whined pitifully as he saw that the tree was at least four times his size.
"Guess you'll just have to decorate the bottom of it." Sides' shrugged indifferently, then smirked down at the whining mini. "Unless, of course, you and the other minis pile up on top of the other to reach, though I doubt there're enough of you to get even half way…"
"Why you-! There's more than enough of us to take you down, wise-aft!" Cliffjumper immediately jumped in defense of his fellow minibot, even if it was just an excuse to get into a fight with the tough liner.
"Oh yeah? Well, bring it on, Bumper car!"
"That is enough! Sideswipe, Cliffjumper, if neither of you wish to spend Christmas Eve and day in the brig, you will both cease this nonsense at once!"
Both bots jumped at the sudden order from Prowl, who'd been on his way to check on the progress of the decorations. Noticing the Praxian's doorwings were slightly higher and stiffer than usual, which meant he was not in the mood for slag, they threw each other one last death glare before turning about and going back to what they were doing.
Prowl nodded in satisfaction that the useless quarrel had been avoided, waved to the others that were watching to carry on in what they were doing, then left to continue his rounds.
Hound couldn't help but chuckle slightly from where he had been placing the tree, with the help of Trailbreaker and Ironhide; amused to no end by just how quickly Prowl could stop what could possibly have been an all out battle royale between the minis, Sideswipe and, by proxy, Sunstreaker.
Then they all would've probably had to spend Christmas in the Medbay, under Ratchet's "tender mercies", and in the brig.
Thanking Both 'Hide and 'Breaker for their help, he left to get himself a cube of energon and to go back to his quarters and his beautiful bonded. Perhaps he could even convince Raj to join him later at the party, if only for a little while…
"Not when you look like you've just rolled in a pile of pine needles, I won't."
"Mirage! Primus, I've told you not to do that!" He jumped and spilled a little of his energon on himself, at the suddenness of hearing his mate's voice so close.
Mirage merely gave a small wave of his servo in dismissal, even though his electro-disrupter was still on, thus making it impossible for Hound to see it, but the nonchalance in his voice managed to convey it. "Oh, please, love, after all these vorns, you should be used to it."
Hound only pouted, even though he could feel his lover's amusement over their bond, "Well, I'm not "used to it". Besides, I thought it was against noble etiquette to sneak up on mechs…"
A very un-noble like scoff was his answer, "I may be a noble, but I'm also a spy, 'sneaking up on mechs' is in my job description. Now, come along." And he proceeded to grab his mate's arm and drag him out of the Rec. Room.
The noble ignored all of the amused and knowing looks thrown at them from the other bots, who, although it looked like Hound was miming being dragged out of the Rec. Room, knew he was there, and continued to drag his weakly, struggling mate to the washracks.
"Miraaage! What are you doing? Where are we going?"
"Oh stop whining, Hound, I'm merely taking you to the washracks. As I said before, I will not be going anywhere with you while you're covered in pine needles."
"So, you'll go with me? To the Christmas party, I mean." The hope in his voice made it impossible for the noble to say no.
"Yes, Hound, I'll go with you to the party, but only for a cycle. And no high-grade, understood? Especially after the fiasco last year with the Twins' "eggnog" high-grade…" He shuddered in remembrance of the horrible tank upset and processor ache that had followed that sickeningly sweet high-grade his mate had brought back for them in their quarters.
The only consolation had been that everyone else had also been affected, Prowl and Prime included, which meant that there were no patrols, monitor duties or reports for a good joor.
Feeling his bondmate's amusement at his thoughts, he glared at him sullenly (he was not pouting!) and kept on, "Besides, it will give an excuse to try this new solvent Tracks made, it took forever to weedle it from him. It has the most lovely smell; peppermint, I believe he called it…"
"Yes, love, whatever you say." He grinned brightly and lovingly at his mate.
Prowl sighed as he herd laughter emerge from the outside of his office. No doubt the twins were up to something and were probably dragging Bluestreak with them. The holiday season - Christmas he recalled, always tended to make the mech's on the Arc a little bit more jumpy.
The SIC smiled to himself. Even if order was slightly disturbed he couldn't help but turn a blind optic toward the twins antics. And not just theirs. The entire crew of the Arc was excited about the Christmas celebration Jazz and Blaster were trowing like every year. The Autobots were getting truly tired of this war and a little fun always did them good.
Not that Prowl would ever admit that out loud.
Speaking of his bond mate, Prowl wondered where the music loving Autobot could be as his shift was about to end. The laughter from the outside of his office grew louder but Prowl ignored it. He focused on the bond he shared with his mate.
Like usual Jazz was unconsciously sending bubbly feeling of happiness and content when the black and white saboteur was in a good mood. That made Prowl smile. Christmas is Jazz's favorite Earth holiday. But as Prowls concentration grew he could also feel a slight discomfort coming from his mate. He slightly frowned wondering what could be bothering the TIC. Had he injured himself during patrol? The roads were slippery, beneath the cover of snow stood hidden black ice - the deadliest of them all, ever for a Cybertronian.
Deciding to meet with Jazz earlier than planned just to make sure he was unharmed, the SIC left his office a whole half an hour earlier. His frown deepened when he felt the discomfort stronger in their bond. He increased his pace but noise coming from the rec room made him take a detour, prehaps he should check the progress of the decorations.
Prowl was not surprised when he saw Sideswipe and Cliffjumper barking at each other. Growling frustrated by their antics and the fact that he just wanted to get to his mate, the Praxian used a more threatening tone.
"That is enough! Sideswipe, Cliffjumper, if neither of you wish to spend Christmas Eve and day in the brig, you will both cease this nonsense at once!" And he meant it. This is a time where everyone should enjoy the holiday and have fun - not cause trouble for the rest.
He resisted the urge to smirk when every one jumped. Once sure that the crisis was averted he gave a satisfying nod, waved at the others and left in search for that mate of his.
Luckily he did not have to search for long.
"My, my Prowler. Didja leave shift early just for little ol' me?" Jazz grinned and approached his mate at a quicker pace.
Prowl regarded him and quirked an optic ridge. "If your heating systems are still malfunctioning you should have let Ratchet have a look at them, not patrol out in the cold." He admonished and watched as Jazz stopped right in front of him. The saboteur just grinned.
"Naww I'm fine. Ah just couldn't resist driving in the forest. You should have seen it, lover. It looked magical. You couldn't even tell that it's a battle field most of the time."
Prowl leaned forward, their lips almost touching. Jazz off lined his visor getting ready for the kiss but only yelped in surprise and on-lined his visor to see the close face of a smirking Prowl. Who it would appear had just broken an icicle that was hanging from his hood.
"Fine you say." Prowl broke another icicle.
"Ya reaaally gotta stop teasing me lover. You know I am quite...vengeful." Jazz smirked playfully and embraced Prowl who returned it. Prowl's small smile widened slightly and held the smaller mech tighter only to realize that Jazz truly was cold. Not cold - freezing! No wonder he had icicles forming on his hood.
"Sometimes I feel like I'm bonded to a sparkling" Prowl kissed Jazz softly on his cold lips. Jazz kissed him again and pointed at a mistletoe over them. Prowl just shook his head and kissed Jazz again this time slightly deepening it.
"Come on. Let get you warmed up" The SIC shook his head in amusement at Jazz' pouting face, but the saboteur followed feeling actually quite cold.
As the couple continued on their way they happened to pass Wheeljack's lab. Jazz cackled at the graffiti on the labs door while Prowl playfully glared at the words that were written in Cybertronian.
"Well, ya gotta admit, at least it's true." The TIC grinned "I bet Sides did it just for caution."
"Oh yes" Prowl rolled his optics "Writing 'bio hazard' on the door would surely warn mechs"
"Well at least it's better than the one at Hounds And Raj's quarters. Passing the room and reading 'wild animals on the loose' brought some mechs really creative ideas." Jazz leaned up and kissed Prowl's cheek playfully.
Prowl was about to retort when a series of curses came from behind the closed door. The bonded pair gave each other confused looks and decided to enter the lab.
As they got in the two black and whites couldn't help but notice a variety of projects scattered across the room. The most resent ones were still in one piece. There was an energon processioning machine that when a bot poured regular energon with high grade it produced the Cybertronian version of eggnog. Or a Santa tracking machine (Imagine the inventors disappointment when he found out the old man wasn't real), special energon goodies that when "backed" in the right temperature were the equivalent of Christmas cookies (that still awaited the approval of Ratchet). Yes. The lab had almost anything a bot could or could not think of.
So imagine the bond mates surprise seeing a cursing Wheeljack over a small, ordinary looking gun.
"'Jack, mah man? What's troubling ya in these marry times" Jazz grinned and placed a hand on the inventors shoulder, startling the mech.
"Primus Jazz, don't do that!" Wheeljack straightened. "Ohh, nothing. Just building a weather machine." He said it like it was the most casual thing in the world.
The two back and whites exchanged glances.
"Yeah, it's been snowing non-stop for days now! I thought maybe 'hey why not make a machine that it will make it sunny?' you know?" The engineer got excited while explaining and started babbling on and on. He would have made Bluestreak proud.
"Uhh..." Jazz didn't have time to finish his thought when Wheeljack started to rant how he couldn't come up with exact sequence, or formula ...or something for the machine to work right. The tactician and saboteur quickly exited the lab at the mention of explosion and headed for their original course.
"Wait." A cold and wet Jazz stopped his mate "Out quarters are that way" He used his thumb to point at the other direction. Prowl smirked playfully and Jazz shivered not from the cold but from the look on Prowl's face. Because when the 'bot used that face...
"You are freezing love." Purred Prowl "What kind of bond mate would I be if I let you in that state? Now let me get you all warmed up under a hot shower." At those words Jazz's engine gave a hard rev and eagerly started pulling the SIC towards the washraks of the Arc.
By the time they reached them servos where exploring frames, tracing well known patterns. Jazz meowed I disappointment when Prowl stopped in order to turn on the water. Prowl chuckled and kissed Jazz under the flowing water. None of them noticed that the water was actually cold at first but soon started to heat up as warm water mixed with solvent started to flow.
"Turn." Purred the Praxian as he got a brush and waited patiently for Jazz to turn. Jazz quickly obliged and Prowl expertly started rubbing the plating in a teasing manner - cleaning and arousing Jazz the same time. He smiled at his progress, getting pretty much aroused himself by the sounds Jazz shamelessly was emitting. He knew his mate was no longer freezing, his goal achieved. There wasn't anything bad at getting a bonus while doing it.
Jazz, quite turned on spiraled around and embraced the SIC. The smaller frame of the horned mech placed his hands behind Prowl's neck and lifted himself, placing his legs around Prowls midsection. The winged mech helped by steadily supporting the light frame that was attached to him now.
"I love you." Whispered Jazz under the hot water but Prowl herd him perfectly.
"And I love you. Forever and always." Prowl shivered as well. Jazz cupped his face and leaned in for a heated kiss. Their mouths parted, glossas playing with each other. None of them noticed a mistletoe hanging right above them.
Their ports were so hot. Prowl's hand lingered over Jazz's interface port and just when the smaller frame was about to retract it, Primus decided to be in a playful mood.
A whistle started the aroused mechs and Prowl lost his balance falling on the ground with Jazz, but careful not to crush him. They looked surprised at the entrance of the wash racks. There stood a giggling Hound and a smirking Mirage.
"Told you Jazz was on top." Grinned Hound.
"It would appear so." Murmured the spy as he eyed the revved up 'bots in front of them.
"Aww if you liked the show, why did you stop us?"
"Jazz!"
"What? It's true." Jazz grinned and leaned to kiss Prowl. Prowl gave in to the small kiss but quickly remembered they had company and stood up, helping Jazz on the way. He turned off the flow of the hot water and regarded the other bonded pair.
"Jazz and I-"
"Just you babe." Jazz smirked as he interrupted his mate.
"I would appreciate it of you do not mention this... incident to anyone." Prowl used his officer mode voice but failed miserably because of the giggling Jazz next to him.
"Do not concern yourself."Mirage spoke. "This was an ... incident after all." Jazz and Hound full out laughed.
The noble and his mate watched as the other couple exited to room, probably intend on finishing what they started somewhere else.