30 Days and 30 Nights: Day 19
Title: 30 Days and 30 Nights
Day: 19
Prompt: Fishnet (the fabric or fishing tool)
*Verse: G1 AU
Rating: PG-13
*Words: 2168
Other Characters: Prowl, Jazz, Sunstreaker, Sideswipe
Warnings: sexual innuendos nothing perverted and is safe for teens
Summary: The twins make an interesting discovery
Notes: This is another one I wasn't too happy with. But it should make you laugh!
Cybertronian time references similar but not equal to our own: astrosecond ~ second, klick ~ minute, joor ~ hour, cycle ~ day, deca-cycle ~ week, orn ~ month, vorn ~ year
A/N: Pure crack ficage!
Day 19: Fishnets (the fabric or fishing tool)
"This is so cool!" Sideswipe whispered excitedly.
"You do know our afts will be in deep slag if we get caught in Prowl and Jazz's quarters."
"I know! That's what makes this so cool!"
"I can't believe you're my brother," Sunstreaker groaned and then slapped Sideswipe in the back of his head. "You're an idiot! I swear if we end up in the brig because of this stupid prank of yours I'll disown you as my brother."
"You say that every time, bro."
"Well this time I mean it," Sunny frowned, following his brother into the berth room. "I must say, Prowl has been a good influence on Jazz. This place is immaculate. I remember how you couldn't tell the berth from the floor in Jazz's quarters with all the music files he had scattered everywhere."
"Well, Jazz was always on a mission and since he was pronging the SIC regularly well before bonding with him I guess there's no need for his own quarters," Sides giggled.
"Let's just do this!" Sunny growled just as Sideswipe's foot hit something solid.
"What's this?"
"Whatever it is don't touch it," Sunny suggested and glanced over at his brother. Sunny groaned, rolling his optics. "Too late."
"Primus, you gotta look at this stuff, bro!" Sides giggled. "There's so much black mail material in here!"
That got Sunny's attention and he quickly knelt down beside his brother.
"Cyber porn videos, stasis-cuffs, what's this?"
"An energon whip," Sunny answered receiving a confused look from his brother. "Don't ask. Some mechs or femmes get off on it."
"So, some kinky interfacing paraphernalia then. Sweet," Sides commented. Then suddenly his optics widened and he pulled out some fabrics he'd never seen before. "What's this stuff?"
"Well, fitting with theme of what's in the trunk, that is most likely human sex paraphernalia," Sunny explained. "They're tactile creatures like us. How things feel against their skin can be a turn on for them. Jazz is always going on about how silk feels. Now we know why."
"What's this, it looks…odd?"
"They're fishnet stockings. They're just as soft as the silk fabric and much cheaper to buy."
"How the frag do you know all this stuff?" Sides asked, looking at disbelief at his brother.
"Internet," Sunny stated. "I'm not sure why Jazz has all this stuff. I doubt his tight aft of a bondmate, Prowler, is into any of this stuff."
"Maybe that's why Jazz hides it."
"No matter, put it all back. We need to finish what we came in here for and get out."
Sideswipe nodded and replaced everything back into the storage bin. Then his optics widened recognizing the name the hieroglyphs spelled.
"Sunny, forget the prank, I've got a better idea!"
The next morning in Prowl's office…
Prowl came to an abrupt stop when he noticed something resting on his normally cleared desk. Upon closer inspection he found it was two items. A datapad with a note on it and a somewhat familiar piece of fabric.
Curious, Prowl read the note.
"Jazz, please report to my office immediately!" he commed instantly over a private line and shut it down before Jazz could respond. He even blocked his end of their shared sparklink he was so mad.
Two point three klicks later, Jazz hurried into Prowl's office with a worried expression on his face.
"What is it? What happened? Are ya ok?" the saboteur asked.
"No, I'm not ok," Prowl remarked irritably and handed over the datapad and stocking. "And this is what happened! Read it."
Dear Prowler,
We have your trunk of cyber porn paraphernalia. If you are a good little mech you will get one item from the trunk back for each prank Sunny and I pull off. The catch is you can't punish us. And no, your bondmate cannot claim the items were his so don't even bother. If you punish us, sic Jazz on us, or even say one harsh word towards us we'll let slip that you're actually a cyber porn fiend. As a token of good grace, we've given you the first item, the fishnet stockings.
Have A Nice Cycle,
The Twins - S&S
Jazz was mortified after reading the blackmail note.
"Prowl, I…"
"Jazz, I understand your need to collect some…exotic items from various cultures and store them. I even gave you my trunk to store some of them in. However, if you do not fix this misinterpretation…bondmate or not, we are not interfacing for a full vorn! Starting…now."
"Let's not be too hasty!" Jazz stammered subspacing the stocking and blackmail note. "Like ya said it was just a misinterpretation."
Prowl gave Jazz that look. The tactician was being deadly serious.
"Ok…I'll fix it. I promise ya!"
With that Jazz took off running. No way in pit was he going a full vorn with no interfacing!
It didn't take him long to find two smug looking twins who looked like they could get away with murder drinking high grade and opening talking about their next prank. Without a single word, Jazz grabbed them both by their scruff bars and dragged two kicking and screaming twins out of the recreation room and into the nearest storage closet.
"Get out! I need it!" Jazz growled after he yanked open storage closet door. "Out! Now!"
A normally irate medic, aka Ratchet, and cranky weapon's specialist, aka Ironhide, filed out with a passive engineer, aka Wheeljack in tow. Even they knew not to mess with Jazz when he was this PO'd!
"I guess what they say about Engineers is true bro," Sides commented.
"Oh yeah, what's that?" Sunny asked.
"I'm not sure. I just heard that line befo…whoa!"
"Shut up!" Jazz roared shoving them into the back corner of the small closet and then he closed the door sealing them inside.
"Alright, mech, chill out," Sideswipe replied. "What's got your energon line in a twist?"
"Prowl can't use you to pressure us. That's a violation of the agreement," Sunstreaker added somewhat arrogantly.
"And you can't claim it was your stuff. We wouldn't believe you," Sideswipe smirked.
Jazz's visor flared and he rushed the two mechs pinning them hard against the wall.
"Listen ya two numbnodes! I don't give a frag if ya believe me or not. I'm here to look afta my own interests. Interests ya two are muckin' up! So get this in through yar thick titanium plated heads. Ya saw nothing' in the trunk ya opened. In fact, ya were never in our quarters. If there so much as a tiny peep about the paraphernalia belongin' to Prowl I will personally make yar lives a livin' hell!"
"And why should we listen to you?" Sideswipe asked.
"'Coz I ain't gonna go a full vorn without interfacin' with ma mech! That would make Jazz very, very cranky. An' we don't wanna a cranky Jazz ridin' yar afts the entire vorn, do we?"
The twins quickly shook their head.
"That's right. We want a happy Jazz!" Jazz smiled evilly.
This time the twins nodded in full agreement.
"Cranky Jazz bad. Happy Jazz good."
"Cranky Jazz bad. Happy Jazz good," the twins repeated.
"Good," Jazz smiled patting them both rather roughly on the face plates. "Be sure to let Prowl know to disregard the note ya left on his desk an' make sure the trunk is returned to our quarters. I will be inspectin' it shortly to ensure all my belongins are there."
With that Jazz left the twins alone in the closet.
"Frag he's scary when his pissed," Sides nervously chuckled.
Sunny suddenly punched Sides hard in the side of the head.
"I told you it was a bad idea," Sunny added.
"Relax, bro. We're still in one piece and not in the brig."
"For once," Sunny huffed.
"Wanna see what dirt we can dig up on Ratchet, Ironhide, and Wheeljack?"
"Sure let's go."
Later that cycle…
Jazz entered his shared quarters. He nodded in satisfaction upon seeing the trunk at the foot of the berth. Confident he terrified the twins to do what he told them, he simply shoved the trunk under the berth. No way the deviant duo would disobey an angry Jazz anyway.
Just as he turned to leave he was suddenly accosted from behind.
Surprised and stunned, Jazz quickly found himself unable to retaliate as stasis cuffs had been swiftly and expertly used, binding his hands behind his back. Then he was twirled around and shoved hard, toppling onto his back on the berth. A flash of black and white pounced on him. It was the only glimpse of his bondmate Jazz saw before his optics were covered with a dark silk fabric.
"Jazz, you are a surprisingly efficient mech when you desire to be," Prowl purred into Jazz's audio receptor, straddling his lover. "Perhaps I need to punish you more often."
Jazz felt something soft slide teasingly around one of his sensory horns and then the other, making his entire body shudder with need.
"If this is yar idea of punishment, then please do," Jazz groaned, moving his hips evocatively.
"That's a new record for you," Prowl said flatly.
"Uh?" Jazz asked confused wondering if his befuddled processor was playing tricks on him - Prowl didn't sound happy.
"That took less than six astroseconds for your interface panel to heat up from the moment the stocking caressed your sensory horn."
Jazz blushed and shrugged a shoulder.
"It kind o' turned me on, I guess," he smirked crookedly.
The silk cloth covering his optics was removed and a muffled beep sounded signally the stasis cuffs were unlocked. His smiled instantly faded upon seeing the sad look on his bondmate's face plates.
"Are my affections not adequate enough for you?" Prowl asked in a quiet voice avoiding optic contact.
"Prowler, look at me. Babe. Look at me," Jazz whispered, affectionately caressing the mech's face into turn his gaze. "There isn't a bot alive with a more wicked glossa or more nimble fingers than ya. An' to be honest, there are times when I just look at ya an' my interface panel heats up. Especially when ya flutter those doorwings."
"How do you explain what happened a moment ago?"
"What happened a moment ago surprised me…in a very good way, obviously."
Prowl seemed unconvinced yet said nothing.
"Ok, ya know that after we woke from our long stasis that I've been like a younglin' in an energon treat establishment on this planet. So many different cultures. Varieties of music, languages…pleasures."
"Please continue," Prowl said, moving off to the side so Jazz could sit up.
"Well I don't know if ya know or not but these humans really enjoy their love makin'. An' afta reading' up on some o' the stuff they do…well it kind o'got me thinkin'," Jazz nervously explained. "I was never one for that sort o' stuff on Cybertron. But the idea o' how soft a silky fabric felt against somethin' like my sensory horn…well…it turned into a fantasy of mine."
"Why did you not tell me? I'm your bondmate. It's my duty to see to your happiness."
"'coz it was just a silly fantasy."
"Nothing you desire is silly to me," Prowl firmly said, placing the fishnet stocking in Jazz's hand.
Jazz looked at if or a moment, noticing there was a tear. He suddenly remembered he still had the stocking in his subspace pocket and pulled it out.
"How'd you get this one?" Jazz asked holding up the damaged stocking.
"That was the original one you had in your trunk," Prowl confessed. "You had me look for a music file you thought was in the trunk. I found the stocking. Whether you were aware or not, I took notice to some of the things you were reading. I was curious."
"The fragging thing snagged on the handle of my doorwing," the tactician continued, grumpily. "I had no idea it was so fragile and could be damaged so easily! Do you have any idea how mortifying and humiliating it was when I had to ask Carly to purchase a replacement so you'd never find out? I practically had to give up our first born to buy her silence!"
Jazz stared incredulously at his bondmate for the longest moment before the wildest of laughs burst from him. Prowl flicked his doorwings irritably but Jazz could feel the mech's amusement over their bond.
"Come here, lover," Jazz smirked, wrapping the fishnet stocking around Prowl's neck. Giving a gently tug, Jazz pulled the mech into an affectionate kiss. "Seems I'm not the only one with a silly fantasy."
"So it would seem," Prowl smiled, pulling Jazz into his arms. "Good thing I arranged for us to have the cycle off."
Jazz laughed richly, "Why does that not surprise me?"
The End.