Got a single silver bullet...
I am severely confused. I don't know what about, but I just am. And it is so strange to be in this situation. I'm looking through this large window and it all looks painfully pretty. Sometimes I wish I were brave enough to just go out there and feel things instead of just sitting inside feeling sorry for myself all day. I don't know. *sigh* I babysat last night. The kids were crying and screaming all night for their mom, and Lindsey threw up. It was lovely. I finally got them to go to bed around 10. I don't have any plans for today. I should probably go to the wake, but I feel like I'd interfere for some strange reason. I just don't know. I know I won't end up going. So whatever. Vacations are the worst, in my opinion. Just more time to think about how sad your small little life is. And think about how everyone is off having fun and stuff and because your mom is a bitch, you can't do anything because she hates seeing you happy. And then she yells at you for being sad. So what the hell are you supposed to do with yourself? I don't know. I would ask her, but then I think she'd kill me. So it's safer to just shut up and do nothing but hope she doesn't notice you. So now I am going to clean up the spaghetti my mother spilled all over the floor last night, even though I promised myself I wouldn't clean it up, because then I'd be giving her the satisfaction she wants. But I just hate seeing this house like this. Makes me feel even worse. I'm sorry for complaining, but I'm just in a really bad mood today. <3