Note spellotaped to Hufflepuffs Girl's Dormitories
Hello ladies -
Don't be so eager to come visit me. I just got back to Hogwarts...not even a hello, how have you been, or how fabulous was your summer? Where is everyone anyway? I want to borrow Hannah's tanning cream. I haven't seen her around in ages. Or Susan. Or anyone for that matter. Is our boy's dorm completely empty too? I've been looking everywhere for Ernie.
Do you know if Zacharias has gotten buffer this summer? Not that I care that much. Just for comparison's sake right?
Nobody wrote me all summer. I felt so unfabulous and unloved. Nobody even offered to be my tanning buddy. I went tanning all by myself--only lonesome, unattractive people do that. Now I'm peeling. Handfuls of skin just coming off.
Do any of you think I've gotten ugly this summer? What if I have downgraded? How awful. I even think I am freckling. I've been sitting alone in the common rooms all day--maybe I am just too awful and pink to look at.
I hate the colour pink now. It is no longer the new tan--in fact, it never was.
I did get to go to the Eton football fields though. Spread out my yellow and black towel, put on my big sunglasses, and watch some strong legs on bodies exercise. Mmm. Fabulous.
Some of them even offered to teach me how to play with their (foot)balls.
Anyway. How was your summers? Write me soon or come find me! We need to catch up on all the gossip...who hooked up with who? Who lost weight? Who gained weight? Any new fabulous crushes?
Let me know.
Missing you all,
Justin Finch-Fletchley (Remember me?)
P.S. Oh my! That prefect of ours just wrote me a note! He wants to talk to me man on man. Oh my god. Man. On. Man. MAN ON MAN.
P.P.S. Maybe pink is the new tan. Maybe...this will be my year! Maybe I have actually come back from summer as the fabulous attractive boy everyone is swooning over.
P.P.P.S. Maybe Hannah will swoon. And let me borrow those yellow shorts of hers.
Don't be so eager to come visit me. I just got back to Hogwarts...not even a hello, how have you been, or how fabulous was your summer? Where is everyone anyway? I want to borrow Hannah's tanning cream. I haven't seen her around in ages. Or Susan. Or anyone for that matter. Is our boy's dorm completely empty too? I've been looking everywhere for Ernie.
Do you know if Zacharias has gotten buffer this summer? Not that I care that much. Just for comparison's sake right?
Nobody wrote me all summer. I felt so unfabulous and unloved. Nobody even offered to be my tanning buddy. I went tanning all by myself--only lonesome, unattractive people do that. Now I'm peeling. Handfuls of skin just coming off.
Do any of you think I've gotten ugly this summer? What if I have downgraded? How awful. I even think I am freckling. I've been sitting alone in the common rooms all day--maybe I am just too awful and pink to look at.
I hate the colour pink now. It is no longer the new tan--in fact, it never was.
I did get to go to the Eton football fields though. Spread out my yellow and black towel, put on my big sunglasses, and watch some strong legs on bodies exercise. Mmm. Fabulous.
Some of them even offered to teach me how to play with their (foot)balls.
Anyway. How was your summers? Write me soon or come find me! We need to catch up on all the gossip...who hooked up with who? Who lost weight? Who gained weight? Any new fabulous crushes?
Let me know.
Missing you all,
Justin Finch-Fletchley (Remember me?)
P.S. Oh my! That prefect of ours just wrote me a note! He wants to talk to me man on man. Oh my god. Man. On. Man. MAN ON MAN.
P.P.S. Maybe pink is the new tan. Maybe...this will be my year! Maybe I have actually come back from summer as the fabulous attractive boy everyone is swooning over.
P.P.P.S. Maybe Hannah will swoon. And let me borrow those yellow shorts of hers.