Am I selling out?
[mood |
contemplative]
"They say that I'm a dreamer/but I'm not the only one"
That has described me for the longest time. I've always had big dreams, and sometimes still daydream about things. I think that's one of the things my close friends like about me - my eternal optimism about reaching higher.
Lately I feel like my dreams are dying in a smoke of conformitism (ok not a real word, but whatevers). I went from living abroad, to wanting to vagabond, to wanting to go on a trip with Greg, to now looking forward to a job here. Owning my own firm is also on the backburner.
I went to a networking happy hour and met about 6 attorneys. One, in particular, owns her own firm and wanted to see my resume after she came back into town. So I started thinking about what it would be like to have a normal life, get a regular paycheck, be able to pay bills without being broke. And for the last two weeks I've barely thought about France, or done my language lessons, or anything like that.
I feel like a sellout. I don't want to look back 20 years from now and say that I should've pursued my dreams. I had great dreams about living an atypical life, living by my own terms and being ruled by experiences and not material concerns. But now, I'm so far away from that. I dunno if that's a result of being broke for so long or of just giving up. That would be so lame to just let them go.
contemplative]
"They say that I'm a dreamer/but I'm not the only one"
That has described me for the longest time. I've always had big dreams, and sometimes still daydream about things. I think that's one of the things my close friends like about me - my eternal optimism about reaching higher.
Lately I feel like my dreams are dying in a smoke of conformitism (ok not a real word, but whatevers). I went from living abroad, to wanting to vagabond, to wanting to go on a trip with Greg, to now looking forward to a job here. Owning my own firm is also on the backburner.
I went to a networking happy hour and met about 6 attorneys. One, in particular, owns her own firm and wanted to see my resume after she came back into town. So I started thinking about what it would be like to have a normal life, get a regular paycheck, be able to pay bills without being broke. And for the last two weeks I've barely thought about France, or done my language lessons, or anything like that.
I feel like a sellout. I don't want to look back 20 years from now and say that I should've pursued my dreams. I had great dreams about living an atypical life, living by my own terms and being ruled by experiences and not material concerns. But now, I'm so far away from that. I dunno if that's a result of being broke for so long or of just giving up. That would be so lame to just let them go.