Pro Pizza Driver first entry
The Proffessional pizza driver has achieved something rare, and it separates him from humanity. Granted so weird a perspective as seeing all of you in all your homes, has tainted him. he has the thousand yard stare in traffic, not distracted by taunts or flashed flesh, the pro pizza driver is on a mission, fueled by degenerate rock'n'roll and cancer causing cigarette's (other vices regularly guest starring)...not to mention the pre-requisite energy drinks to recover from the drinking AFTER CLOSING at 2 last night/this morning...the pro pizza driver knows they do nothing, but still drinks them, a small indulgence when battling long strung together shifts, where some how your always the only driver doing anything....he's a man tested, who stands secure, having faced down being ugly lost in the urban/sub-urban enviroments. The journey of pro pizza driver insidious shifts the paradigms of your world, creating a new cynicism, and when carried to its farthest pinnacle, the sublime understanding of slack.
oh yes there are other drivers, people on the same path of the pro pizza driver, just either much farther back, or closer, and yet some who have achieved levels of strange he has yet to deliver too. one pro pizza driver easily recognizes another of his skill level, the glassy eyed stare, the empty hopes, and lost ambition....the large wads of ones...the signs of a dryer only shirt washing....its all very apparent...
but there are benefits to these changes, you know you have achieved a level of slack most humans have never seen, you damn well know that....but theres more, you can wake up to your self slicing pie and waiting on bank from a pie slinging manager, magically....you instantly can size up how well a tipper the costumer is by how they open the door....your abilities to hustle through traffic undetected by authorities is unmatched, even by proffessional criminals....your an arm chair mechanic, knowing basic maintennce and how long it can be ignored....your an actor, treating the good tippers to insider pizza lore to bedazzle more money from them "you got here fast" "yeah dead spot in the shift, you qued up quick and the slingers topped fast" *beady eyed, i just got jargon spit on me stare, and a larger tip*
and you know one thing and you know it more than anything you have ever known, if you can walk this razor edge between apathy and ambivelance, keep your profile low, and squeek the tires every chance you get....your on top of this world of asphalt, apartment complexes, and housing developments....
oh yes there are other drivers, people on the same path of the pro pizza driver, just either much farther back, or closer, and yet some who have achieved levels of strange he has yet to deliver too. one pro pizza driver easily recognizes another of his skill level, the glassy eyed stare, the empty hopes, and lost ambition....the large wads of ones...the signs of a dryer only shirt washing....its all very apparent...
but there are benefits to these changes, you know you have achieved a level of slack most humans have never seen, you damn well know that....but theres more, you can wake up to your self slicing pie and waiting on bank from a pie slinging manager, magically....you instantly can size up how well a tipper the costumer is by how they open the door....your abilities to hustle through traffic undetected by authorities is unmatched, even by proffessional criminals....your an arm chair mechanic, knowing basic maintennce and how long it can be ignored....your an actor, treating the good tippers to insider pizza lore to bedazzle more money from them "you got here fast" "yeah dead spot in the shift, you qued up quick and the slingers topped fast" *beady eyed, i just got jargon spit on me stare, and a larger tip*
and you know one thing and you know it more than anything you have ever known, if you can walk this razor edge between apathy and ambivelance, keep your profile low, and squeek the tires every chance you get....your on top of this world of asphalt, apartment complexes, and housing developments....