So, things.
Even as I start this, I'm not sure how it will end up. I'm tired today. I couldn't stay asleep last night, and it seems to be really effecting me. Coffee isn't helping, and I just can't seem to focus.
Perfect time to write a blog, right?
Went to Kansas over the weekend.
Yes, that's right, Paul went to a different state. Two of them. Apparently, the 'Kansas City' game was in Missouri. I had a good time, even the drive was entertaining, but I didn't sleep very well. Or much.
I discovered some things during this weekend.
1. I'm faster on my feet than Ryan. Wit wise, anyway. He's a runner, so I'm sure that he could blow me out of the water if we had a race. Ryan ( ratontheroad) pointed it out, actually, and I never actually thought about it before then. I know that Ryan is a better actor than I am, and much better as the center of attention. He lives to be in the limelight, and just about glows when its directly on him. I'm terrified of being the center of attention, as much as I'd like it. Every time I hear the words, "Okay, Paul, its all yours," there is a moment where I freeze. I've been running games for these people for years now, and I still freeze up when they all look at me.
I'm quicker witted than he is, though. This fact startled me when it was pointed out. I know people think I'm witty, but to have someone who's wit you've admired point out that you are better at it is very... cathartic?
2. Ryan is a better actor than I am. I mentioned that above, but I want to make it clear. He has fully formed, detailed characters with lots of quirks, changes in dialog, and that do not seem to be just another extension of himself. Accents, make-up, even his stance changes. When I form a character I want to play, I find something in myself that I think needs some air time, and work it around that. I can be charming, so Christophe is charming. I can be obnoxious, so Max is obnoxious. I can organize people, so Lou is a leader. None of them are a true divorce from who I am, and Ryan seems to be able to step away from himself. Makes me jealous.
3. I need to treat visitors better. The week before we went to Kansas we went as a group up to Denver. I spent most of the night being ignored by the people there. I wasn't ignored in Kansas, but that was mostly because I insinuated myself into situations where people needed to talk to me. Or just respond to me. Eventually they just started talking to me like anyone else, but it took some effort. I don't want people who come to my domain to have to make that same effort. Of course, I can only really handle that when I'm in charge of things, but I will make more of an effort in character to include people.
4. I really need to write a book. I spent a goodly amount of time talking with Ryan, who has some interesting takes on his own Poly life. Not long ago, my dear es said that I should write a book on Poly. The en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ethical_Slut is good, she said, but like I had pointed out it is very femme orientated. In fact, at times while reading that most holy of poly tomes, I felt that I was the bad guy for being male. Husbands screw things up, it seemed, and only really got in the way. So, when ES said that I should write one, I joked that I could call it the 'Alpha Dog's guide to Poly.' She said that was an awesome name. I told elf, jokingly, about it. She agreed. I mentioned it to Ryan and Mykle, and they both sort of blinked at me and said, "Shit, I'd buy a copy of that." I think that's confirmation. No google hits on the title, either.
5. Next time I go someplace, I need to take elf ( piedcorvidae) with me. She really missed me, and she wouldn't have minded driving at all. Ryan and Mykle (curuad) took turns driving, and neither of them really wanted to. I am really nervouse driving someone else's vehicle. I mean, what happens if I wreck their car? That's something I could never pay back. Elf likes to drive, and we sort of need each other to sleep. Fortunately, our kids are teenagers, so it doesn't matter much if they get left home alone for a while. They know how to do their own care and feeding. :P
Oh, on another note, check out that girl on the main page, bitchgoddessdm. Honestly. Read through her stuff, she is an amazing person.
Allrighty, folks, enjoy your day.
Perfect time to write a blog, right?
Went to Kansas over the weekend.
Yes, that's right, Paul went to a different state. Two of them. Apparently, the 'Kansas City' game was in Missouri. I had a good time, even the drive was entertaining, but I didn't sleep very well. Or much.
I discovered some things during this weekend.
1. I'm faster on my feet than Ryan. Wit wise, anyway. He's a runner, so I'm sure that he could blow me out of the water if we had a race. Ryan ( ratontheroad) pointed it out, actually, and I never actually thought about it before then. I know that Ryan is a better actor than I am, and much better as the center of attention. He lives to be in the limelight, and just about glows when its directly on him. I'm terrified of being the center of attention, as much as I'd like it. Every time I hear the words, "Okay, Paul, its all yours," there is a moment where I freeze. I've been running games for these people for years now, and I still freeze up when they all look at me.
I'm quicker witted than he is, though. This fact startled me when it was pointed out. I know people think I'm witty, but to have someone who's wit you've admired point out that you are better at it is very... cathartic?
2. Ryan is a better actor than I am. I mentioned that above, but I want to make it clear. He has fully formed, detailed characters with lots of quirks, changes in dialog, and that do not seem to be just another extension of himself. Accents, make-up, even his stance changes. When I form a character I want to play, I find something in myself that I think needs some air time, and work it around that. I can be charming, so Christophe is charming. I can be obnoxious, so Max is obnoxious. I can organize people, so Lou is a leader. None of them are a true divorce from who I am, and Ryan seems to be able to step away from himself. Makes me jealous.
3. I need to treat visitors better. The week before we went to Kansas we went as a group up to Denver. I spent most of the night being ignored by the people there. I wasn't ignored in Kansas, but that was mostly because I insinuated myself into situations where people needed to talk to me. Or just respond to me. Eventually they just started talking to me like anyone else, but it took some effort. I don't want people who come to my domain to have to make that same effort. Of course, I can only really handle that when I'm in charge of things, but I will make more of an effort in character to include people.
4. I really need to write a book. I spent a goodly amount of time talking with Ryan, who has some interesting takes on his own Poly life. Not long ago, my dear es said that I should write a book on Poly. The en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ethical_Slut is good, she said, but like I had pointed out it is very femme orientated. In fact, at times while reading that most holy of poly tomes, I felt that I was the bad guy for being male. Husbands screw things up, it seemed, and only really got in the way. So, when ES said that I should write one, I joked that I could call it the 'Alpha Dog's guide to Poly.' She said that was an awesome name. I told elf, jokingly, about it. She agreed. I mentioned it to Ryan and Mykle, and they both sort of blinked at me and said, "Shit, I'd buy a copy of that." I think that's confirmation. No google hits on the title, either.
5. Next time I go someplace, I need to take elf ( piedcorvidae) with me. She really missed me, and she wouldn't have minded driving at all. Ryan and Mykle (curuad) took turns driving, and neither of them really wanted to. I am really nervouse driving someone else's vehicle. I mean, what happens if I wreck their car? That's something I could never pay back. Elf likes to drive, and we sort of need each other to sleep. Fortunately, our kids are teenagers, so it doesn't matter much if they get left home alone for a while. They know how to do their own care and feeding. :P
Oh, on another note, check out that girl on the main page, bitchgoddessdm. Honestly. Read through her stuff, she is an amazing person.
Allrighty, folks, enjoy your day.