Haven't Written to You in Awhile
Bar is closed.
and I'm writing this to you.
Though I know you are so far beyond my grasp.
Looking at letters and photographs from happier times
when everything seemed right.
It felt as if we were so close
to our future together.
You talked about the wedding and the "pretty white dress,"
a family, and our first house as if it was everyday conversation.
I felt secure enough with you to let you see I wanted this more
than anything in the whole world.
Never in my wildest dreams did I ever believe I would be wriitng
this to my memory of you, the one that goes through my mind on rewind.
I laugh at the jokes, even crack occasional ones of my own so that the tears
do not escape.
I try to talk about you casually, not
letting people see that the memories of us together tear me to shreds.
I wonder constantly if I could have done something different, said
something different; not changed things for good but
just maybe made things better for both of us.
I wonder if you were ever telling me the truth when
the words "I love you" escaped your lips.
I wonder what happened
to the person I fell so hard for and when things changed.
I know I am not to blame,
but when you hear things so much,
it's hard to get things out of your head and heart.
I wonder what happened to that girl who thought she knew love.
Does she ever feel it again or was it a once in a lifetime kind of feeling.
Rarely do teenage love stories result in the stories I can still tell with a faint smile.
I still share those stories about the nights that could have gone on forever.
I'm glad you found the piece of you
that was missing when we were together.
Though sadness captures my heart at times,
I am proud of you for not staying stuck, and
I'm sorry I was the glue that made you stick.
I am glad your found a missing part, but I ask you
when you find the missing part to the girl who you perhaps loved,
please return it.
It may be the key to moving on.
__________
Love you. Always have. Always will.
and I'm writing this to you.
Though I know you are so far beyond my grasp.
Looking at letters and photographs from happier times
when everything seemed right.
It felt as if we were so close
to our future together.
You talked about the wedding and the "pretty white dress,"
a family, and our first house as if it was everyday conversation.
I felt secure enough with you to let you see I wanted this more
than anything in the whole world.
Never in my wildest dreams did I ever believe I would be wriitng
this to my memory of you, the one that goes through my mind on rewind.
I laugh at the jokes, even crack occasional ones of my own so that the tears
do not escape.
I try to talk about you casually, not
letting people see that the memories of us together tear me to shreds.
I wonder constantly if I could have done something different, said
something different; not changed things for good but
just maybe made things better for both of us.
I wonder if you were ever telling me the truth when
the words "I love you" escaped your lips.
I wonder what happened
to the person I fell so hard for and when things changed.
I know I am not to blame,
but when you hear things so much,
it's hard to get things out of your head and heart.
I wonder what happened to that girl who thought she knew love.
Does she ever feel it again or was it a once in a lifetime kind of feeling.
Rarely do teenage love stories result in the stories I can still tell with a faint smile.
I still share those stories about the nights that could have gone on forever.
I'm glad you found the piece of you
that was missing when we were together.
Though sadness captures my heart at times,
I am proud of you for not staying stuck, and
I'm sorry I was the glue that made you stick.
I am glad your found a missing part, but I ask you
when you find the missing part to the girl who you perhaps loved,
please return it.
It may be the key to moving on.
__________
Love you. Always have. Always will.