life
It isn't often that I seriously consider my life. I don't do it very much because whenever I do, I don't seem to like where it is going. This is another one of those instances, but I come away now with more insight as to where I want to go.
I emailed my friend Jeremy, whome I haven't communicated with in over 6 months. We have gone a few years without talking, so that isn't a major thing. Whenever I do talk to him it seems that I can't do much more than discuss what has been going on in my life the past few months, and it doesn't seem all too interesting. While it is great that I am working and that I am with a good woman, it isn't enough for me. Simply put I am not happy, overall. I don't mean to say that nothing in my life brings me joy, on the contrary, I love Autumn and I truely feel that my life would be shit without her. But, in the same vein I don't like my job and it doesn't seem to be going anywhere worthwhile. Everyone says that I am young and that I have plenty of time to work out what I want to do but what's the sense in that? I am 25. I am not old by any means but I feel that at this point I should have some sort of path already picked out.
Here's what I know. I know that I am going to get married at some point. I know that I am going to be in Oneonta for another two years. I know that I am going to be stuck in this job during that time.
That's about all. I am sure some people would be really glad and would say something stupid like, "Well you could do anything! A cross-roads is a great place to be" et cetera, ad nausea. I am not at a cross-roads. If anything I am in the middle of a rocky field with a spoon for a plowshare. Where I go now must be a path that I cut, and nothing seems very easy. I would love to take the easy route.
I'm not sad, I'm not depressed. I haven't really felt that way in a long time. I have perspective. I would like to get back into the Video Game journalism industry. I really could have made something for myself if I had stuck with that. Now I really have to take up my spoon and forge ahead.
I have to stop being a sissy and man myself up.
Lets see what I can do.
I emailed my friend Jeremy, whome I haven't communicated with in over 6 months. We have gone a few years without talking, so that isn't a major thing. Whenever I do talk to him it seems that I can't do much more than discuss what has been going on in my life the past few months, and it doesn't seem all too interesting. While it is great that I am working and that I am with a good woman, it isn't enough for me. Simply put I am not happy, overall. I don't mean to say that nothing in my life brings me joy, on the contrary, I love Autumn and I truely feel that my life would be shit without her. But, in the same vein I don't like my job and it doesn't seem to be going anywhere worthwhile. Everyone says that I am young and that I have plenty of time to work out what I want to do but what's the sense in that? I am 25. I am not old by any means but I feel that at this point I should have some sort of path already picked out.
Here's what I know. I know that I am going to get married at some point. I know that I am going to be in Oneonta for another two years. I know that I am going to be stuck in this job during that time.
That's about all. I am sure some people would be really glad and would say something stupid like, "Well you could do anything! A cross-roads is a great place to be" et cetera, ad nausea. I am not at a cross-roads. If anything I am in the middle of a rocky field with a spoon for a plowshare. Where I go now must be a path that I cut, and nothing seems very easy. I would love to take the easy route.
I'm not sad, I'm not depressed. I haven't really felt that way in a long time. I have perspective. I would like to get back into the Video Game journalism industry. I really could have made something for myself if I had stuck with that. Now I really have to take up my spoon and forge ahead.
I have to stop being a sissy and man myself up.
Lets see what I can do.