what is and what will never become.
The temperature has cooled off from the rain, which is good. I am kind of glad its more overcast than the past week. For someone from the South, I dont take heat too well. It just zonks me and is hard to stay focused, have an appetite, etc. Summer vacations to the ocean where torture because of the heat and humidity. I do like dry heat, however. So, California sounds like a pretty good solution.
Jessica is back in Chicago and I have entered into a more accepting side of our relationship lately. She is never going to be like me and we will never have the same wavelength of thought, but thats okay. I just have to know what to share and what not. Thats alright, people are different and they cannot play other roles that are not theirs.
The past few weeks have been more difficult because I have been put in a position where I am not able to be constantly busy. I am not good at doing a lot of nothing. I get real nervous and stir crazy and its hard to nearly impossible for me to sit without distraction. I have to read, watch or listen but those resources get tapped out when there's more hours than entertainment. And thats where I have found myself lately because of some health shit. Many days I would have loved to go outside and go running or hiking or even just into town, but knew I could not. Its very humbling and the past two months I have been more thankful for life than I think I have in all the years prior.
I do hope one day as I grow I will begin to notice my thoughts go away from darker tones, as they seem to meditate on now. Life itself creates such an unbridgeable gap of certainty that for me, makes fear an easy venue to walk in.
Would it be odd that the fear of change would propel one to create change all the time?
I fear overuse. Overexposure.
Jessica is back in Chicago and I have entered into a more accepting side of our relationship lately. She is never going to be like me and we will never have the same wavelength of thought, but thats okay. I just have to know what to share and what not. Thats alright, people are different and they cannot play other roles that are not theirs.
The past few weeks have been more difficult because I have been put in a position where I am not able to be constantly busy. I am not good at doing a lot of nothing. I get real nervous and stir crazy and its hard to nearly impossible for me to sit without distraction. I have to read, watch or listen but those resources get tapped out when there's more hours than entertainment. And thats where I have found myself lately because of some health shit. Many days I would have loved to go outside and go running or hiking or even just into town, but knew I could not. Its very humbling and the past two months I have been more thankful for life than I think I have in all the years prior.
I do hope one day as I grow I will begin to notice my thoughts go away from darker tones, as they seem to meditate on now. Life itself creates such an unbridgeable gap of certainty that for me, makes fear an easy venue to walk in.
Would it be odd that the fear of change would propel one to create change all the time?
I fear overuse. Overexposure.