The Difference Between Egoic Love and True Love
Most individuals are unaware that their egoic mind controls their thoughts, behaviors, and perceptions of reality. Because of this blindness, people often times do not understand the difference between egoic, self-consumed love, and true love.
Egoic love is characterized by a constant need for more; a desire to have something to further raise its status and social position. The majority of people in this world today take part in relationships characterized of egoic love; which is why divorce rates are on the rise, people suddenly "fall out" of love, and why arguments and negativity come so easily in relationships. Jealousy, dependency, addiction. These are all characteristics of false love.
True love is the recognition of the animating form in one another. True love is desireless and free of the egoic mind's compulsive thoughts and actions. True love lacks any form of dependency, negativity, and lust. As Eckhart Tolle simply put it, "True love is the recognition of the formless in one another."
How do you know which love your relationship holds? 98% of individuals will fall into the egoic love category, because they have no idea of the pain and hurt their chaotic mind causes them; in fact, they are not even aware that they are not the mind-conceptualized personality their ego has created for them. The ego utilizes social institutions and the assistance of other egos in other human beings to build a personality, a "role," a construct that each person becomes consumed in; but the truth is: you are not this role. You are not your mind-conceptualized identity.
The first step in transmuting egoic love into true love is recognizing that you are not your mind.
I cannot tell you how to reach true love because I am not yet free of the grip of the egoic mind, but I do know that we can all be one step closer to true love by recognizing the lies of the egoic mind when it attempts to tell you that the jealousy, dependency, and addiction it elicits upon your emotions toward another human being is love.
I want to love another human being. In fact, I have one picked out right now that I would really like to love. There is a burning desire inside to "love" this person. But is this desire true love? Why am I "wanting to love" this person so badly?
I believe this desire inside to be representative of egoic love. I don't want to share this person with anyone, I want them to be mine regardless of their own feelings about the situation. I am consumed with the selfish desire to have this person as my own. This does not sound like true love to me. And, it's most likely not true love.
I have a long journey to follow before I can truly love another human being. I must first learn to appreciate the beauty of the present moment and life before I can find the beauty of true love in another human being. Even in this very moment my ego argues differently with the thoughts it places in my head. It will not an easy transition to cultivate mindfulness and work past the egoic blockades my mind has so fiercely constructed and maintained for many years... but nothing is impossible.
Egoic love is characterized by a constant need for more; a desire to have something to further raise its status and social position. The majority of people in this world today take part in relationships characterized of egoic love; which is why divorce rates are on the rise, people suddenly "fall out" of love, and why arguments and negativity come so easily in relationships. Jealousy, dependency, addiction. These are all characteristics of false love.
True love is the recognition of the animating form in one another. True love is desireless and free of the egoic mind's compulsive thoughts and actions. True love lacks any form of dependency, negativity, and lust. As Eckhart Tolle simply put it, "True love is the recognition of the formless in one another."
How do you know which love your relationship holds? 98% of individuals will fall into the egoic love category, because they have no idea of the pain and hurt their chaotic mind causes them; in fact, they are not even aware that they are not the mind-conceptualized personality their ego has created for them. The ego utilizes social institutions and the assistance of other egos in other human beings to build a personality, a "role," a construct that each person becomes consumed in; but the truth is: you are not this role. You are not your mind-conceptualized identity.
The first step in transmuting egoic love into true love is recognizing that you are not your mind.
I cannot tell you how to reach true love because I am not yet free of the grip of the egoic mind, but I do know that we can all be one step closer to true love by recognizing the lies of the egoic mind when it attempts to tell you that the jealousy, dependency, and addiction it elicits upon your emotions toward another human being is love.
I want to love another human being. In fact, I have one picked out right now that I would really like to love. There is a burning desire inside to "love" this person. But is this desire true love? Why am I "wanting to love" this person so badly?
I believe this desire inside to be representative of egoic love. I don't want to share this person with anyone, I want them to be mine regardless of their own feelings about the situation. I am consumed with the selfish desire to have this person as my own. This does not sound like true love to me. And, it's most likely not true love.
I have a long journey to follow before I can truly love another human being. I must first learn to appreciate the beauty of the present moment and life before I can find the beauty of true love in another human being. Even in this very moment my ego argues differently with the thoughts it places in my head. It will not an easy transition to cultivate mindfulness and work past the egoic blockades my mind has so fiercely constructed and maintained for many years... but nothing is impossible.