fic: Perfume Fusion - 9. Jin (2/2)
“STOP IT!” Kame screamed at the two friends who were up each others throats once again. “STOP IT, FOR GOD’S SAKE!”
He pulled them apart from each others and kept them apart as they snarled and glared at each others, both bruised and panting.
It wasn’t an unfamiliar sight anymore, not lately. Ryo was grumpy and kept snapping thanks to the simplest things and picking up fights, especially with Pi who was quickly growing tired of it. And there was so much pain, so much pain and desperation that Kame didn’t even know where it came from anymore.
“I’m moving out,” Ryo stated, crossing his arms and fidgeting, looking out of the window as he had difficulty in breathing. “This isn’t working.”
“What isn’t working?” Pi yelled at him furiously. “What are you going to do, pull Jins for us? What the fuck is wrong with you, Ryo?”
“IT ISN’T LIKE IT MATTERS ANYWAY!” Ryo bellowed back at him, throwing a chair in frustration and suppressed anger. Kame watched as it hit the wall and a leg broke off, leaving a nasty mark to the wall. “Jin’s gone! You two are dating! It isn’t like it matters anymore Pi! Nothing’s the way it was, nothing works anymore! NOTHING’S WORKED SINCE HE LEFT!”
“So what, you are going to pull Jins on us? Is that what you’re saying?” Pi asked coldly, tears threatening to form in his eyes. “You’re going to abandon us as well.”
“I can’t do this,” Ryo stated, blinking rapidly. “I can’t do this anymore, Pi. Don’t make me, just don’t. I can’t just sit in here and watch you two going for it. I can’t be the third wheel in here.”
“You aren’t a wheel, Ryo. You’re my best friend,” Pi begged. “You’re my best friend, you idiot.”
“It isn’t working, Pi. It just isn’t,” Ryo answered, swallowing again. “We aren’t friends anymore. We’re friends because we have to be, because we’ve always been like that. That’s it.”
“Are you a total idiot?” Kame shot at Ryo whose head snapped at him with a pained expression. Kame took a deep and shaky breath, shaking his head disbelievingly.
“We’re friends. The three of us. We’re all we have. We swore we wouldn’t let it fall apart when he left, we swore. We don’t have other people left. This is all we have,” Kame said with a shaky voice, moving to stand before Ryo with his arms crossed as well. “So tell me now. Are you going to throw it away or are we going to make it?”
“When did you start talking like that -“
“Answer the question, Ryo,” Kame cut him off. “How important is friendship for you? Is it worth it? Ups and downs.”
For a while the three of them all stood in silence and Ryo looked at his feet, his lips pursed and glance hardened as he sank into himself. Pi was breathing rapidly and rubbing his arm anxiously as he waited. Kame just stood still, not removing his glance from Ryo.
“…There can’t be a friendship without ups and downs,” Ryo finally answered, raising his gaze, biting his lip like he was holding back a few tears.
Kame nodded. “Then you’re going to stay. You’re going to stay and we’re all going to make it. Because we all have to make it, Ryo. We have to get things right.”
Ryo nodded again, blinking furiously. “Group hug.”
Pi let out a strangled laughter and pulled all three of them to a painfully tight hug, making the two others scream and struggle to get out of it, laughter filling the air.
And they were going to make it. Ryo was going to set things straight.
It had to go right.
***
“You’re returning, Jin,” Ryo said to the phone. “I know you want to. You’re a horrible liar.”
Jin pouted furiously, rubbing his eyes as he lied on his bead with his hair tangled, duvet lying abandoned on the floor. “Ryo, call me in the morning. Too tired to speak…” he slurred to the phone and cut the call, sighing deep and closing his eyes again as he relaxed, trying to fall back asleep again.
But no. His phone rang. And it was fucking annoying. He answered it with a furious grumble.
“You’re coming back, Jin. Because you have to stop being selfish and idiotic and ruining everyone’s lives just because you’re stubborn. This isn’t how things are supposed to go,” Ryo complained to the phone again. “So you’re coming back. I bought you tickets.”
“You what?” Jin whimpered as he sat up. “Wait, Ryo, what? Start again.”
“You’re coming back.”
“Like hell I am,” Jin grumbled anxiously. “I can’t come back. Not anymore, it isn’t possible.”
“You’re coming back, he’s going to fall in love with you again, I’m going to get Pi and everything will be right again. So drag your ass in here,” Ryo shot at him sharply. “You are not ruining this from me.”
“Get your Pi. Like hell I care,” Jin muttered, burying his head in his pillow, thoughts still hazy thanks to being so sleepy. “Confess to him already. Fuck, you’re so slow. How long has it been? A couple of years? More?”
“There’s a little problem in that. Pi’s dating Kame.”
Silence.
“You heard me. Kame’s dating. He’s starting to look better again too. He’s still somewhat hanging on to you but if you don’t get your ass in here damn soon, it’ll all be over. For the both of us,” Ryo snapped. “Stop being an idiot.”
“He hates me,” Jin whimpered. “He hates me so much. And he has the right to. I could never ask him to… to…”
“You don’t have to. He’ll do it by himself,” Ryo said confidently. “Mature already!”
“I AM MATURED!” Jin shot at him furiously, hitting his pillow. “I’m doing fine on my own! I’M MATURED! I take responsibility!”
“Well then come back and show it to him,” Pi dared him. “I booked you tickets. Tomorrow, leaves at three pm. And you’re going to say that you bought them. You’re going to act all matured and grown up when you come back and you’re going to take responsibility. And you’re going to show Kame that you like him. That he can count on you.”
“…He’s dating Pi,” Jin realised in pain. “And Pi smells like home. He’s safe.”
“Snap out of it, you jerk!” Ryo yelled angrily. “You come back and ravish him until he loves you or something, I don’t care what you do but you’re going to do it! Because that’s how it’s supposed to be! This can’t go with two unhappy people and two happy! Everyone has to be happy!”
For a while they both stayed silent again, Jin rolling to lie on his back as he listened to Ryo’s frantic panting. And he knew the man was serious. He himself was having yet another slight hangover as he looked at the ceiling, feeling slightly nauseous and dizzy.
He pulled a shirt from under his pillow and sniffed, wiping his stinging eyes as he breathed in the scent of it. Vanilla.
He had packed so fast that he had accidentally switched their shirts. And he hadn’t realised it until he was already out of the country and realised that there was something wrong with the size. And that the scent of vanilla made his whole body shake furiously.
“We screwed up so bad, didn’t we?” he finally asked Ryo with a quiet voice. For a while the other end was painfully silent. And Jin knew exactly what Ryo felt.
“I guess we did.”
Jin’s lips trembled and a few tears fell quietly as he breathed in Kame’s scent from the shirt. Ryo remained silent and Jin could hear him swallowing hard and painfully every now and then.
“It was only about time he hooked up with someone,” Ryo finally said with a hysterical laughter. “I never told him. I never would’ve told him. I just thought he’d notice. I really thought.”
“I like Kame,” Jin said. “…I really, really like Kame.”
And he admitted to it. He admitted what he didn’t want to and suddenly it felt even more overwhelming. And he had screwed up, he knew. He had thrown it all away like it had been mere rubbish. But it was the most important thing in the entire world.
And world wasn’t the same without Kame. It felt lifeless.
Scentless.
“I’m coming back, Ryo,” he stated stubbornly, drawing in a heavy breath. “I’m coming back and we’re going to get that stupid, idiot, jerk of a Pi for you. And I’m going to get Kame all to myself. Like it’s supposed to be.”
Ryo smiled. “Five pm, Jin. Check your e-mail.”
Jin grumbled and cut the call.
And then he fell asleep again.
***
Pi’s touches were light and soft. Kame liked that.
He liked it when they lied on Pi’s bed and Pi was sitting on top of him with his torso bent down as they lied under the warm duvet, Pi kissing and nibbling his neck gently. Kame sighed and closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around the other man’s shoulders.
It was warm and it was loving. It was comfort.
It was Pi. Simply put, that’s what it was. It wasn’t overwhelming and illogical like Jin, it wasn’t raging and passionate first love which was unconditional. It was safe, more matured. It held promise.
It wasn’t overwhelming. And it wasn’t supposed to be. Because like that, he wouldn’t fall from as high if something was to happen. He’d definitely feel sad and awful, but it wouldn’t be the end.
It was safe and gentle. And it wasn’t confusing; he didn’t have to question it this time. He was sure.
Pi moved up to kiss him on the lips, his mouth warm and the rocking of his lips light and captivating. And Kame found himself lost in the moment.
“You’re tired. Again,” Pi sighed. “You always get tired.”
“It’s not my fault you’re so warm…” Kame grumbled his answer as he took support with his elbows to sit upwards and pull Pi closer, kissing him gently on his plump lips again. “I get too comfortable.”
“Yes, comfortable instead of excited,” Pi grumbled as Kame bit his ear gently, making him fidget in his hold. “I can tell your sex drive isn’t exceptionally high.”
“Oh, don’t start with that…” Kame chuckled back. “I’m just tired. You know I like you.”
“I know you like me, of course I do. You smile around me. And you’re doing a lot better,” Pi sighed back. “But you don’t love me.”
“Love doesn’t come just like that. It grows with time. I’m strongly infatuated with you, it should be fine for now,” Kame chuckled back teasingly and kissed him on the lips softly again. “Very, very strongly infatuated with you.”
“You love him -“
“I don’t,” Kame disagreed sharply. “You can’t love someone if they don’t love you back. Love grows with time. You need experiences with each others, only friendship won’t do it. You need romantic experiences and memories. You need kissing, cuddling, and making love as well for that. So no, I’m not in love with Jin and I never was. It had potential, but no, I never loved him.”
Pi smiled at him again. “I’m making love to you, though. I’m making love with Kameee..!”
“OH, SHUT UP!” Kame grumbled, slamming his hand on Pi’s mouth to silence him. “That’s nothing to go screaming around about!”
And he laughed as Pi straddled him against the mattress again and moved over him with his exceptionally warm body, leaving confident yet gentle touches and caresses all over his body.
In the end, he still fell asleep. And Pi grumbled as he noticed it, pouting as he got up again after covering Kame’s half-dressed form properly with the duvet and walking to the kitchen to treat himself a glass of cool water with his hair all ruffled up. Ryo sat around the kitchen table as well, playing with the small new perfume bottle with his fingers as Pi started pouring water to a glass.
“He’s coming back, you know. Tomorrow,” Ryo said and Pi almost dropped his glass, head snapping at Ryo in a matter of a mere fragment of a second. Ryo nodded and smiled.
“Things are finally starting to come together, aren’t they?” Ryo went on, smelling the scent again. “Have you tried this one out yet?”
Pi shook his head. “Been busy with other things. I trust it’s good if it’s been done with Ueda. He and Jin always collaborated with good results.”
“It’s called Jin,” Ryo cut him off. Pi paled as he looked at him.
“It’s a nice scent. You should try it out,” Ryo said as he got up, stretched and put the small bottle in Pi’s hand.
And as cruel as it was, Pi found himself wishing that Jin would never make it back home.
He pulled them apart from each others and kept them apart as they snarled and glared at each others, both bruised and panting.
It wasn’t an unfamiliar sight anymore, not lately. Ryo was grumpy and kept snapping thanks to the simplest things and picking up fights, especially with Pi who was quickly growing tired of it. And there was so much pain, so much pain and desperation that Kame didn’t even know where it came from anymore.
“I’m moving out,” Ryo stated, crossing his arms and fidgeting, looking out of the window as he had difficulty in breathing. “This isn’t working.”
“What isn’t working?” Pi yelled at him furiously. “What are you going to do, pull Jins for us? What the fuck is wrong with you, Ryo?”
“IT ISN’T LIKE IT MATTERS ANYWAY!” Ryo bellowed back at him, throwing a chair in frustration and suppressed anger. Kame watched as it hit the wall and a leg broke off, leaving a nasty mark to the wall. “Jin’s gone! You two are dating! It isn’t like it matters anymore Pi! Nothing’s the way it was, nothing works anymore! NOTHING’S WORKED SINCE HE LEFT!”
“So what, you are going to pull Jins on us? Is that what you’re saying?” Pi asked coldly, tears threatening to form in his eyes. “You’re going to abandon us as well.”
“I can’t do this,” Ryo stated, blinking rapidly. “I can’t do this anymore, Pi. Don’t make me, just don’t. I can’t just sit in here and watch you two going for it. I can’t be the third wheel in here.”
“You aren’t a wheel, Ryo. You’re my best friend,” Pi begged. “You’re my best friend, you idiot.”
“It isn’t working, Pi. It just isn’t,” Ryo answered, swallowing again. “We aren’t friends anymore. We’re friends because we have to be, because we’ve always been like that. That’s it.”
“Are you a total idiot?” Kame shot at Ryo whose head snapped at him with a pained expression. Kame took a deep and shaky breath, shaking his head disbelievingly.
“We’re friends. The three of us. We’re all we have. We swore we wouldn’t let it fall apart when he left, we swore. We don’t have other people left. This is all we have,” Kame said with a shaky voice, moving to stand before Ryo with his arms crossed as well. “So tell me now. Are you going to throw it away or are we going to make it?”
“When did you start talking like that -“
“Answer the question, Ryo,” Kame cut him off. “How important is friendship for you? Is it worth it? Ups and downs.”
For a while the three of them all stood in silence and Ryo looked at his feet, his lips pursed and glance hardened as he sank into himself. Pi was breathing rapidly and rubbing his arm anxiously as he waited. Kame just stood still, not removing his glance from Ryo.
“…There can’t be a friendship without ups and downs,” Ryo finally answered, raising his gaze, biting his lip like he was holding back a few tears.
Kame nodded. “Then you’re going to stay. You’re going to stay and we’re all going to make it. Because we all have to make it, Ryo. We have to get things right.”
Ryo nodded again, blinking furiously. “Group hug.”
Pi let out a strangled laughter and pulled all three of them to a painfully tight hug, making the two others scream and struggle to get out of it, laughter filling the air.
And they were going to make it. Ryo was going to set things straight.
It had to go right.
***
“You’re returning, Jin,” Ryo said to the phone. “I know you want to. You’re a horrible liar.”
Jin pouted furiously, rubbing his eyes as he lied on his bead with his hair tangled, duvet lying abandoned on the floor. “Ryo, call me in the morning. Too tired to speak…” he slurred to the phone and cut the call, sighing deep and closing his eyes again as he relaxed, trying to fall back asleep again.
But no. His phone rang. And it was fucking annoying. He answered it with a furious grumble.
“You’re coming back, Jin. Because you have to stop being selfish and idiotic and ruining everyone’s lives just because you’re stubborn. This isn’t how things are supposed to go,” Ryo complained to the phone again. “So you’re coming back. I bought you tickets.”
“You what?” Jin whimpered as he sat up. “Wait, Ryo, what? Start again.”
“You’re coming back.”
“Like hell I am,” Jin grumbled anxiously. “I can’t come back. Not anymore, it isn’t possible.”
“You’re coming back, he’s going to fall in love with you again, I’m going to get Pi and everything will be right again. So drag your ass in here,” Ryo shot at him sharply. “You are not ruining this from me.”
“Get your Pi. Like hell I care,” Jin muttered, burying his head in his pillow, thoughts still hazy thanks to being so sleepy. “Confess to him already. Fuck, you’re so slow. How long has it been? A couple of years? More?”
“There’s a little problem in that. Pi’s dating Kame.”
Silence.
“You heard me. Kame’s dating. He’s starting to look better again too. He’s still somewhat hanging on to you but if you don’t get your ass in here damn soon, it’ll all be over. For the both of us,” Ryo snapped. “Stop being an idiot.”
“He hates me,” Jin whimpered. “He hates me so much. And he has the right to. I could never ask him to… to…”
“You don’t have to. He’ll do it by himself,” Ryo said confidently. “Mature already!”
“I AM MATURED!” Jin shot at him furiously, hitting his pillow. “I’m doing fine on my own! I’M MATURED! I take responsibility!”
“Well then come back and show it to him,” Pi dared him. “I booked you tickets. Tomorrow, leaves at three pm. And you’re going to say that you bought them. You’re going to act all matured and grown up when you come back and you’re going to take responsibility. And you’re going to show Kame that you like him. That he can count on you.”
“…He’s dating Pi,” Jin realised in pain. “And Pi smells like home. He’s safe.”
“Snap out of it, you jerk!” Ryo yelled angrily. “You come back and ravish him until he loves you or something, I don’t care what you do but you’re going to do it! Because that’s how it’s supposed to be! This can’t go with two unhappy people and two happy! Everyone has to be happy!”
For a while they both stayed silent again, Jin rolling to lie on his back as he listened to Ryo’s frantic panting. And he knew the man was serious. He himself was having yet another slight hangover as he looked at the ceiling, feeling slightly nauseous and dizzy.
He pulled a shirt from under his pillow and sniffed, wiping his stinging eyes as he breathed in the scent of it. Vanilla.
He had packed so fast that he had accidentally switched their shirts. And he hadn’t realised it until he was already out of the country and realised that there was something wrong with the size. And that the scent of vanilla made his whole body shake furiously.
“We screwed up so bad, didn’t we?” he finally asked Ryo with a quiet voice. For a while the other end was painfully silent. And Jin knew exactly what Ryo felt.
“I guess we did.”
Jin’s lips trembled and a few tears fell quietly as he breathed in Kame’s scent from the shirt. Ryo remained silent and Jin could hear him swallowing hard and painfully every now and then.
“It was only about time he hooked up with someone,” Ryo finally said with a hysterical laughter. “I never told him. I never would’ve told him. I just thought he’d notice. I really thought.”
“I like Kame,” Jin said. “…I really, really like Kame.”
And he admitted to it. He admitted what he didn’t want to and suddenly it felt even more overwhelming. And he had screwed up, he knew. He had thrown it all away like it had been mere rubbish. But it was the most important thing in the entire world.
And world wasn’t the same without Kame. It felt lifeless.
Scentless.
“I’m coming back, Ryo,” he stated stubbornly, drawing in a heavy breath. “I’m coming back and we’re going to get that stupid, idiot, jerk of a Pi for you. And I’m going to get Kame all to myself. Like it’s supposed to be.”
Ryo smiled. “Five pm, Jin. Check your e-mail.”
Jin grumbled and cut the call.
And then he fell asleep again.
***
Pi’s touches were light and soft. Kame liked that.
He liked it when they lied on Pi’s bed and Pi was sitting on top of him with his torso bent down as they lied under the warm duvet, Pi kissing and nibbling his neck gently. Kame sighed and closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around the other man’s shoulders.
It was warm and it was loving. It was comfort.
It was Pi. Simply put, that’s what it was. It wasn’t overwhelming and illogical like Jin, it wasn’t raging and passionate first love which was unconditional. It was safe, more matured. It held promise.
It wasn’t overwhelming. And it wasn’t supposed to be. Because like that, he wouldn’t fall from as high if something was to happen. He’d definitely feel sad and awful, but it wouldn’t be the end.
It was safe and gentle. And it wasn’t confusing; he didn’t have to question it this time. He was sure.
Pi moved up to kiss him on the lips, his mouth warm and the rocking of his lips light and captivating. And Kame found himself lost in the moment.
“You’re tired. Again,” Pi sighed. “You always get tired.”
“It’s not my fault you’re so warm…” Kame grumbled his answer as he took support with his elbows to sit upwards and pull Pi closer, kissing him gently on his plump lips again. “I get too comfortable.”
“Yes, comfortable instead of excited,” Pi grumbled as Kame bit his ear gently, making him fidget in his hold. “I can tell your sex drive isn’t exceptionally high.”
“Oh, don’t start with that…” Kame chuckled back. “I’m just tired. You know I like you.”
“I know you like me, of course I do. You smile around me. And you’re doing a lot better,” Pi sighed back. “But you don’t love me.”
“Love doesn’t come just like that. It grows with time. I’m strongly infatuated with you, it should be fine for now,” Kame chuckled back teasingly and kissed him on the lips softly again. “Very, very strongly infatuated with you.”
“You love him -“
“I don’t,” Kame disagreed sharply. “You can’t love someone if they don’t love you back. Love grows with time. You need experiences with each others, only friendship won’t do it. You need romantic experiences and memories. You need kissing, cuddling, and making love as well for that. So no, I’m not in love with Jin and I never was. It had potential, but no, I never loved him.”
Pi smiled at him again. “I’m making love to you, though. I’m making love with Kameee..!”
“OH, SHUT UP!” Kame grumbled, slamming his hand on Pi’s mouth to silence him. “That’s nothing to go screaming around about!”
And he laughed as Pi straddled him against the mattress again and moved over him with his exceptionally warm body, leaving confident yet gentle touches and caresses all over his body.
In the end, he still fell asleep. And Pi grumbled as he noticed it, pouting as he got up again after covering Kame’s half-dressed form properly with the duvet and walking to the kitchen to treat himself a glass of cool water with his hair all ruffled up. Ryo sat around the kitchen table as well, playing with the small new perfume bottle with his fingers as Pi started pouring water to a glass.
“He’s coming back, you know. Tomorrow,” Ryo said and Pi almost dropped his glass, head snapping at Ryo in a matter of a mere fragment of a second. Ryo nodded and smiled.
“Things are finally starting to come together, aren’t they?” Ryo went on, smelling the scent again. “Have you tried this one out yet?”
Pi shook his head. “Been busy with other things. I trust it’s good if it’s been done with Ueda. He and Jin always collaborated with good results.”
“It’s called Jin,” Ryo cut him off. Pi paled as he looked at him.
“It’s a nice scent. You should try it out,” Ryo said as he got up, stretched and put the small bottle in Pi’s hand.
And as cruel as it was, Pi found himself wishing that Jin would never make it back home.