Radio Silence
It only takes one or two things to make me realize I’ve been taking so many things for granted and that needs to stop. My functioning level has been damn near zero for a while now due to my ears. I need to get this shit stopped ASAP. I can’t focus or do much of anything anymore. And my sleep habits have been ridiculous, more so than before. I can’t get to sleep because of it and when I do get to sleep I don’t want to wake up to it so I try to get back to sleep to shut if off. I don’t expect my audiologist to say or do much. In fact I may just try to change mine altogether if that ends up being the case. I also expect I will likely go see a specialist. At this point I’ll do anything to make it stop. I only hope that I don’t go completely deaf.
The other thing is I still have not heard anything about my van from the guy Sis called. She has called him and but he has not gotten back to her and it’s been weeks now. It makes it that much more difficult for me to schedule appointments since I only have one day of the week to do it on.
The weekend was pretty much crap for the most part. Friday I was just trying to keep my wits about me and deal w/my ears. Saturday I kept my HA out for the entire day to see if it would make a difference. It didn’t any really though when I woke up @ 4:00pm Sunday (or rather Sis woke me up) it seemed to die down some. Sis said that my other sister Blondie and her family were coming for dinner. I said I’d put my HA in and see what happened. The tolerable level of the sound didn’t last long and went right back to making me cringe inside but I put my HA in and grinned and bared it for dinner.
I believe this was supposed to celebrate Jarhead's Birthday. Maybe not though. I mean Blondie had a lunch for him Saturday at this place which Sis went to but I did not because of my ears. Sis and co (Blondie, her SO Richie, sons Jarhead and Scrubs and his SO and his daughter Prim and Ham & Emo) decided on a mini thanksgiving dinner. Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and corn. Chef had taken out a leaf from the dining room table a while ago so we had to cram all 10 of is in somehow (the table really only seats 6 comfortably). Plus apparently we couldn’t use knives (I don’t think it was a could or could not thing, just a wacky family thing). And someone decided we should also say prayers - after we all started eating. I don’t know what that’s about. We really never say prayers anymore. It has happened once or twice on odd days for odd reasons. I should probably ask my sister about this because it just seems like a do or do not thing and when it does happen it’s kind of annoying. We used to say it all the time when my BIL was alive which was fine but then it just…stopped. I mean hey, you wanna give thanks for you meal, fine. Either do it at every meal or don’t bother. It irks me and just strikes me as being hypocritical.
But now I’m getting all ranty about religion and I need to stop now or I never will. So anyway it was a really fast meal since everyone ate fast and did a fast clean up and then Blondie and Richie were gone. Scrubs and Jarhead stuck around for a little bit longer though since Prim and Ham played together for a bit and came down to pet Kitty. I stayed downstairs because I couldn’t hear anything anyway and knowing this everyone just talks around me. And well, they are just closer and more connected to each other and a bunch of other people too they were texting back and forth.
I was kind of feeling really depressed at dinner because I just don’t have that anymore. I sometimes feel like I’m being punished for my youth especially w/my hearing. I really want to believe that divine retribution doesn’t work that way though. And that this is all for a better reason than there appears to be.
In semi interesting internet news:
The Legend Of Zelda turned 25.
This is one of my all time favorite video games. I am not really a gamer but I have enjoyed playing some and this is one of the ones I have played early on and at least a few versions of. Ocarina Of Time was the hardest and the last one I played. When I worked at CC at one of my jobs I had a client that I often played with. I was supposed to teach her skills and assist w/her brain injury though we often played Zelda on her NES. One of the best job I ever got paid for. I have been wanting to play again. Mostly the Wii version but I don’t have a Wii so I’ll settle for the DS version. I could probably find a cheap one online. I should probably finish Jewel Quest on my comp first and then maybe get back to Legos Star Wars on my DS which I haven’t played in forever.
Today was another late day. By the time I got up Chef was going to work after having taken Ham to Nurse’s. Apparently they kissed and made up at some time unbeknownst to me. I was too out of it to shower. I mainly just watched TV and read my internet stuff. The ears have died down some which is really rather annoying in so much as I actually hope they get bad by the time my appt comes around or that’s just more likely my audiologist will shrug it off and tell me to live w/it. If they do go down I’m just gonna make like it’s really bad anyway. Because, well down or not it’s still bad and needs to be taken care of. Anyway everyone was gone for the night so that meant it was “go lay down” time. That’s all I kept saying to Monroe who was a huge pain in the ass wanting to go out all the time, scratching on my door and just annoying the crap out me. I’d lock him up if I didn’t think he’d pee on the floor and I don’t feel like cleaning that up anymore. I had to keep an eye on both Monroe and Alex when I fed them because they’ll eat each other’s food when they’re not supposed to. Fun times.
Handy came over and put pull out drawers in two of the cupboards so they can hold more stuff. They are really nice and convenient. Now we just need the other cupboards put up so we don’t have to cram stuff in or keep stuff downstairs. But that’s all up in the air since Sis has no clue when they’ll be finished. Also the floorboards need to be put in but that’s up to Handy when he’s ready. And the stairway railing needs to be stained. That’s up to Chef I believe. Baby steps. Oh and we also need stools for the counter and a few more lights over the stove. Oh, and the fan needs to be hooked up on the stove yet. So a lot more baby steps. We could also use a new TV because the cable software sucks ass on the one in the family room. But that’s probably a long while away.
I also wish this weather would just change. We had like 2 days that made the snow melt. Well one day it melted, then it snowed and got cold, then it warmed up again and melted. Today it got freezing and snowed again. And is supposed to remain cold. I’m really tired of freezing my ass off.
On TV were soaps as usual. I was reminded how long I have been watching OLTL because Sis came in my room while it was on and were discussing when she used to watch it way back when which is pretty much how I got started on it and GH when it used to be worth watching. Chuck was OK. Not the greatest but not bad. Later we watched Harry’s Law. Apparently Sis is tired of H-50 and/or prefers Kathy Bates to Alex O’Loughlin. I will have to catch tonight’s episode on Prime Time On Demand. Or wait for the repeat.
Well this has been a long post. It’s probably the most I’ve been able to concentrate in a while. It’s been really quiet though. No TV, no headphones, no people, no dogs. Like I said, I really hope I don’t have to have it be this way for my ears to stop full time.
The other thing is I still have not heard anything about my van from the guy Sis called. She has called him and but he has not gotten back to her and it’s been weeks now. It makes it that much more difficult for me to schedule appointments since I only have one day of the week to do it on.
The weekend was pretty much crap for the most part. Friday I was just trying to keep my wits about me and deal w/my ears. Saturday I kept my HA out for the entire day to see if it would make a difference. It didn’t any really though when I woke up @ 4:00pm Sunday (or rather Sis woke me up) it seemed to die down some. Sis said that my other sister Blondie and her family were coming for dinner. I said I’d put my HA in and see what happened. The tolerable level of the sound didn’t last long and went right back to making me cringe inside but I put my HA in and grinned and bared it for dinner.
I believe this was supposed to celebrate Jarhead's Birthday. Maybe not though. I mean Blondie had a lunch for him Saturday at this place which Sis went to but I did not because of my ears. Sis and co (Blondie, her SO Richie, sons Jarhead and Scrubs and his SO and his daughter Prim and Ham & Emo) decided on a mini thanksgiving dinner. Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and corn. Chef had taken out a leaf from the dining room table a while ago so we had to cram all 10 of is in somehow (the table really only seats 6 comfortably). Plus apparently we couldn’t use knives (I don’t think it was a could or could not thing, just a wacky family thing). And someone decided we should also say prayers - after we all started eating. I don’t know what that’s about. We really never say prayers anymore. It has happened once or twice on odd days for odd reasons. I should probably ask my sister about this because it just seems like a do or do not thing and when it does happen it’s kind of annoying. We used to say it all the time when my BIL was alive which was fine but then it just…stopped. I mean hey, you wanna give thanks for you meal, fine. Either do it at every meal or don’t bother. It irks me and just strikes me as being hypocritical.
But now I’m getting all ranty about religion and I need to stop now or I never will. So anyway it was a really fast meal since everyone ate fast and did a fast clean up and then Blondie and Richie were gone. Scrubs and Jarhead stuck around for a little bit longer though since Prim and Ham played together for a bit and came down to pet Kitty. I stayed downstairs because I couldn’t hear anything anyway and knowing this everyone just talks around me. And well, they are just closer and more connected to each other and a bunch of other people too they were texting back and forth.
I was kind of feeling really depressed at dinner because I just don’t have that anymore. I sometimes feel like I’m being punished for my youth especially w/my hearing. I really want to believe that divine retribution doesn’t work that way though. And that this is all for a better reason than there appears to be.
In semi interesting internet news:
The Legend Of Zelda turned 25.
This is one of my all time favorite video games. I am not really a gamer but I have enjoyed playing some and this is one of the ones I have played early on and at least a few versions of. Ocarina Of Time was the hardest and the last one I played. When I worked at CC at one of my jobs I had a client that I often played with. I was supposed to teach her skills and assist w/her brain injury though we often played Zelda on her NES. One of the best job I ever got paid for. I have been wanting to play again. Mostly the Wii version but I don’t have a Wii so I’ll settle for the DS version. I could probably find a cheap one online. I should probably finish Jewel Quest on my comp first and then maybe get back to Legos Star Wars on my DS which I haven’t played in forever.
Today was another late day. By the time I got up Chef was going to work after having taken Ham to Nurse’s. Apparently they kissed and made up at some time unbeknownst to me. I was too out of it to shower. I mainly just watched TV and read my internet stuff. The ears have died down some which is really rather annoying in so much as I actually hope they get bad by the time my appt comes around or that’s just more likely my audiologist will shrug it off and tell me to live w/it. If they do go down I’m just gonna make like it’s really bad anyway. Because, well down or not it’s still bad and needs to be taken care of. Anyway everyone was gone for the night so that meant it was “go lay down” time. That’s all I kept saying to Monroe who was a huge pain in the ass wanting to go out all the time, scratching on my door and just annoying the crap out me. I’d lock him up if I didn’t think he’d pee on the floor and I don’t feel like cleaning that up anymore. I had to keep an eye on both Monroe and Alex when I fed them because they’ll eat each other’s food when they’re not supposed to. Fun times.
Handy came over and put pull out drawers in two of the cupboards so they can hold more stuff. They are really nice and convenient. Now we just need the other cupboards put up so we don’t have to cram stuff in or keep stuff downstairs. But that’s all up in the air since Sis has no clue when they’ll be finished. Also the floorboards need to be put in but that’s up to Handy when he’s ready. And the stairway railing needs to be stained. That’s up to Chef I believe. Baby steps. Oh and we also need stools for the counter and a few more lights over the stove. Oh, and the fan needs to be hooked up on the stove yet. So a lot more baby steps. We could also use a new TV because the cable software sucks ass on the one in the family room. But that’s probably a long while away.
I also wish this weather would just change. We had like 2 days that made the snow melt. Well one day it melted, then it snowed and got cold, then it warmed up again and melted. Today it got freezing and snowed again. And is supposed to remain cold. I’m really tired of freezing my ass off.
On TV were soaps as usual. I was reminded how long I have been watching OLTL because Sis came in my room while it was on and were discussing when she used to watch it way back when which is pretty much how I got started on it and GH when it used to be worth watching. Chuck was OK. Not the greatest but not bad. Later we watched Harry’s Law. Apparently Sis is tired of H-50 and/or prefers Kathy Bates to Alex O’Loughlin. I will have to catch tonight’s episode on Prime Time On Demand. Or wait for the repeat.
Well this has been a long post. It’s probably the most I’ve been able to concentrate in a while. It’s been really quiet though. No TV, no headphones, no people, no dogs. Like I said, I really hope I don’t have to have it be this way for my ears to stop full time.