(no subject)
It's about 6:00 in the morning on the day before the 4th of July. I haven't slept in about 20 hours. The lack of sleep could be the reason for this messed-up post, but whatever.
Sometimes I think I'm the only one of my friends that thinks about anything but the here and now. Nothing against them at all; I love the guys. I just think that sometimes I'm just... more mature. I think it's because I was forced to mature a bit earlier and a bit faster than the rest of them. I'm not going to go into why on here. Just don't ask. They just all seem so happy, so unconcerned about much of anything. It feels like their lives are just hunky-dory, while I'm stuck here in this unending abyss of stress and depression.
I'm still trying to find a point to post this.
French horn. I can't believe that alone hasn't shut me down. What a change. That's all I have to say.
Stop being a n00b.
I wish I could tell you everything that's going on, everything that's happened. I want to tell you. I don't want to keep this from you, to keep anything from you. I just... can't. I can't find the words to let you know what's going on. I've never had the words. And it kills me.
One thing I fear the most right now is losing the respect of the section, especially (to name names) Jackit's. She's been such a good friend for so long, and I think that could be slipping away from me.
I'm ending this here. There's no use to continue this. I'm just going to dig myself a hole deeper than I already have. G'night all.
Sometimes I think I'm the only one of my friends that thinks about anything but the here and now. Nothing against them at all; I love the guys. I just think that sometimes I'm just... more mature. I think it's because I was forced to mature a bit earlier and a bit faster than the rest of them. I'm not going to go into why on here. Just don't ask. They just all seem so happy, so unconcerned about much of anything. It feels like their lives are just hunky-dory, while I'm stuck here in this unending abyss of stress and depression.
I'm still trying to find a point to post this.
French horn. I can't believe that alone hasn't shut me down. What a change. That's all I have to say.
Stop being a n00b.
I wish I could tell you everything that's going on, everything that's happened. I want to tell you. I don't want to keep this from you, to keep anything from you. I just... can't. I can't find the words to let you know what's going on. I've never had the words. And it kills me.
One thing I fear the most right now is losing the respect of the section, especially (to name names) Jackit's. She's been such a good friend for so long, and I think that could be slipping away from me.
I'm ending this here. There's no use to continue this. I'm just going to dig myself a hole deeper than I already have. G'night all.