This reminded me of the vampire story plot I keep meaning to work on: It's set in the 60s and is about a group of hippies and drunk addicts that get vamped and start running a garlic plantation for vampire stoners. And yeah, in the words of Spike, "I can't believe people still fall for that Anne Rich crap."
See... now that's awesome. The whole idea of a bunch of granola hippies still trying to be hippies even though they are now bloodsuckers would be hilarious. (I can see them being all happy about their organically grown garlic, roflmao).
I demand that you entertain me and write this story.
This has been done, sort of. There's at least two books...um, they were published by Penguin (some imprint of Penguin -- Roc, maybe?) in the 90's. They feature a bunch of baby booming 'vampires' in San Francisco. In this universe, vampirism is a genetic condition and they treat drinking blood like an addiction. The plot involves them all becoming 12-steppers and then slowly falling off the wagon.
However, in keeping with canon, they are all pretty hot, all sexual dynamos (a side effect of the blood, in this case), and dress well.
I can't remember the author or titles of the books for the life of me. I only know the publisher because that's why I read them -- was working there and they were free.
There's also some short stories about a bunch of heroine addicts that become vampires, which also draws parallels between drug addiction and vampirism. However what I had in mind wasn't really to do with addiction, but about mocking vampire fiction (of course that's already been done as well).
Lol a sexual tyrannosaurus is someone who is rather good in bed, a demon in the sack, or a sexual god. I think my husband may have coined that phrase. I use it frequently because the idea of sexy dinosaurs cracks me up.
See... now I want to not brush my teeth for the next 40 years so I can have a pair of vampire dentures. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!
Kind of funny, since I just uploaded scans of Vampire Loves. I think Anne Rice had a few "old" vampires like Marius, but something about the conversion process made them ZOMGHAWT. Too bad it didn't do anything to change them from sex-mongering pedophiles, but hey, I haven't tried reading that series of books in years for a very good reason.
ooo I will have to check out the scans (unless they have sexy, toned body vampires in them).
I think I read Interview With a Vampire (although I may have just seen the move - I can't remember). I really hate Ann Rice's writing style, and her wanktastic characters so I avoid her books as a rule. That's hilarious that there's something about the process itself that makes vampires hot. You think it would make them stealthy or invisible or something more useful, rofl.
I remember liking Interview With the Vampire, but I also read it in tenth grade. I thought Robert Penn Warren was boring as all hell in high school too, until I recently reread it and decided that my younger self was a moron.
No sexy, toned body vampires. The main character has an oversized bald head with pointy ears on a scrawny body. And the two hotties are named Aspirine and Ritaline and are there mostly to be annoyances.
But Anne Rice is special. I think I got to book 3 in the chronicles and there was a scene where Lestat is being bathed and has to stop and admire his beautifully erect, yet useless member. Then she rambled on and on about a Carivaggio painting. That was when I put it down and walked away.
Maybe there are just too many lonely and depressive women out there who needs to read something to boost up their imaginations of having hot wild men in their lives. Spices it up.
Heh, I think you're on to something here. There has to be a reason why people keep writing them this way and why that take on vampires is so damn popular.
Heh, maybe my irritation and bitterness stems from the fact that I just don't find that type of physical beauty attractive. Vampires tend to be pretty boys and I personally am not attracted to that aesthetic. I prefer my men of the more manly variety (broad shoulders, tough looking) and when the guys are more pretty than me, it's not a turn on rofl.
Comments 44
Reply
I demand that you entertain me and write this story.
Reply
However, in keeping with canon, they are all pretty hot, all sexual dynamos (a side effect of the blood, in this case), and dress well.
I can't remember the author or titles of the books for the life of me. I only know the publisher because that's why I read them -- was working there and they were free.
Reply
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
See... now I want to not brush my teeth for the next 40 years so I can have a pair of vampire dentures. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
(Much love for you for the granny vampire picture btw!)
Reply
Reply
I think I read Interview With a Vampire (although I may have just seen the move - I can't remember). I really hate Ann Rice's writing style, and her wanktastic characters so I avoid her books as a rule. That's hilarious that there's something about the process itself that makes vampires hot. You think it would make them stealthy or invisible or something more useful, rofl.
Reply
No sexy, toned body vampires. The main character has an oversized bald head with pointy ears on a scrawny body. And the two hotties are named Aspirine and Ritaline and are there mostly to be annoyances.
But Anne Rice is special. I think I got to book 3 in the chronicles and there was a scene where Lestat is being bathed and has to stop and admire his beautifully erect, yet useless member. Then she rambled on and on about a Carivaggio painting. That was when I put it down and walked away.
Reply
Be afraid, be very very afraid
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment