I hate vampires.

Nov 01, 2006 09:09

Why does every vampire in every damn book have to ( Read more... )

writing, books

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plutospawn November 1 2006, 17:05:23 UTC
Kind of funny, since I just uploaded scans of Vampire Loves. I think Anne Rice had a few "old" vampires like Marius, but something about the conversion process made them ZOMGHAWT. Too bad it didn't do anything to change them from sex-mongering pedophiles, but hey, I haven't tried reading that series of books in years for a very good reason.

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prisoner__24601 November 1 2006, 17:53:52 UTC
ooo I will have to check out the scans (unless they have sexy, toned body vampires in them).

I think I read Interview With a Vampire (although I may have just seen the move - I can't remember). I really hate Ann Rice's writing style, and her wanktastic characters so I avoid her books as a rule. That's hilarious that there's something about the process itself that makes vampires hot. You think it would make them stealthy or invisible or something more useful, rofl.

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plutospawn November 1 2006, 19:22:26 UTC
I remember liking Interview With the Vampire, but I also read it in tenth grade. I thought Robert Penn Warren was boring as all hell in high school too, until I recently reread it and decided that my younger self was a moron.

No sexy, toned body vampires. The main character has an oversized bald head with pointy ears on a scrawny body. And the two hotties are named Aspirine and Ritaline and are there mostly to be annoyances.

But Anne Rice is special. I think I got to book 3 in the chronicles and there was a scene where Lestat is being bathed and has to stop and admire his beautifully erect, yet useless member. Then she rambled on and on about a Carivaggio painting. That was when I put it down and walked away.

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midnight_hawk November 1 2006, 21:58:56 UTC
Oh that reminds me...the Anita Blake porn books are in comic form now:

Be afraid, be very very afraid

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plutospawn November 2 2006, 03:52:36 UTC
Mid hands out misery like candy! All we need now is Anita Blake talking plushies.

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prisoner__24601 November 2 2006, 12:16:25 UTC
Oh god... that's... that's just not right. I think the universe migh implode.

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foxfire74 November 2 2006, 13:37:39 UTC
I always figured that the hotness was useful, since it lets them lure dinner. Doesn't mean I particularly want to read about it, since it's usually accompanied by OMGtehangst!! (Actually, I think somebody on Godawful coined "fangst" to describe Anne Rice novels.)

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prisoner__24601 November 2 2006, 16:19:48 UTC
Now see... that's actually a decent reason for them to be pretty. Way better than the OMG WE NEED HAWT SEXXORS!!!!!!11! that seems to be the mind set of a lot of books *cough*Anita Blake*cough*

I like "fangst." That's so descriptive roflmao.

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foxfire74 November 2 2006, 23:23:32 UTC
I am SUCH a geek. I spend way too much time thinking about things like "evolutionarily useful reason for vampires to be pretty". Vampire as lanternfish/snapping turtle...works for me.

As for Anita Blake...there were no more books written after Blue Moon. Ever. Anything else is a mass delusion. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. (And I don't even like Blue Moon all that much, but it seems to make a good stopping point. *shrug*)

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prisoner__24601 November 8 2006, 17:11:16 UTC
Oh you know... Blue Moon is exactly the Anita Blake book that caused me to mentally check out of the series.

The book itself starts out promising (probably because neither Jean Claude or Richard are in the beginning), but when the entire plot halts just so all of the werewolves can chase her hot self through the woods and then she has hot wolf sex Richard (gah... Richard... that's a totally different subject), it was just too much. For some reason, I thought the series would somehow magically get better so I read for a couple more books.

So I totally agree. Just pretending that the series ends with Blue Moon is probably the best way to go.

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foxfire74 November 9 2006, 13:44:50 UTC
Meh. I don't hate it - I could've dealt with the whole woods'n'wolf sex thing if it weren't a foreshadowing of so, so much worse to come - but the last one I really enjoyed was Burnt Offerings. Blue Moon, though, is the last one where I saw any personality other than Anita Blake, Blow-up Doll of the Damned.

Back before LKH went totally and semi-publicly batshit, my theory was that she was testing out her audience to see if they preferred the violence (Obsidian Butterfly) or the sex (everything since). Now I just think she's nuts.

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