so pathetic.
i just remembered something and gawd i'm scared like shit now because i don't understand why i'm here when everybody else is not. the images are stuck in my head now and the sounds echo and they're driving me insane.
i remember the spears, i remember what happened to my eye and my arm and i remember those mass production eva units and i remember, i remember them eating me alive and i remember how much it hurt and i thought i died because my synchronization rate was 100% then. but i also remember other things. i remember hearing Shinji and mother and Hikari and Kaji before I woke up here. maybe it was all a dream but i really don't think so.
i remember Shinji, i remember him wanting to help me, i remember him pleading for my help. but of course i didn't help him, being the bitch that i was and still am. i remember shoving him to the floor, i remember answering him coldly as he was pleading for help for life for someone. i remember him strangling me and i remember the gladness i felt knowing that i was dying. i remember telling him that i would rather die than ever be with him because i'm just awful. i wish i can say sorry but he'll still remember all the things i've done to him and hate me, but wherever he is now, i hope that he will find someone who will treat him like he should be treated. i hated him because he's weak but i've always known that he is nice, and yet i made him hate me. if only i'm not this cruel person, we would've gotten along very well because he's such a nice guy. i hope that he'll find someone as nice as he is, somewhere where he is.
and, if it's worth anything, i'm sorry, Shinji, now i wish that things were a little different somehow. i wish that i had helped you when you asked for help. i wish i wasn't so awful.
[EDIT] Morrigan hired me, yay! [/EDIT]
i remember the spears, i remember what happened to my eye and my arm and i remember those mass production eva units and i remember, i remember them eating me alive and i remember how much it hurt and i thought i died because my synchronization rate was 100% then. but i also remember other things. i remember hearing Shinji and mother and Hikari and Kaji before I woke up here. maybe it was all a dream but i really don't think so.
i remember Shinji, i remember him wanting to help me, i remember him pleading for my help. but of course i didn't help him, being the bitch that i was and still am. i remember shoving him to the floor, i remember answering him coldly as he was pleading for help for life for someone. i remember him strangling me and i remember the gladness i felt knowing that i was dying. i remember telling him that i would rather die than ever be with him because i'm just awful. i wish i can say sorry but he'll still remember all the things i've done to him and hate me, but wherever he is now, i hope that he will find someone who will treat him like he should be treated. i hated him because he's weak but i've always known that he is nice, and yet i made him hate me. if only i'm not this cruel person, we would've gotten along very well because he's such a nice guy. i hope that he'll find someone as nice as he is, somewhere where he is.
and, if it's worth anything, i'm sorry, Shinji, now i wish that things were a little different somehow. i wish that i had helped you when you asked for help. i wish i wasn't so awful.
[EDIT] Morrigan hired me, yay! [/EDIT]