Life and times of the Human lab rat
Nothing personal to the doctors, but I don't appreciate spending two days visiting all of them just to end up with a thumb that is more sore for the prodding, and empty stomach from the fasting, and five holes in only two veins on my arms. OWWW!!! It's like oh ur thumb hurts, let me distract you by stabbing you every hour on the hour for five hours, starting at some ungodly predawn hour, of course. And next tuesday I have 3 more appointments. At 730 am I have a date with the giant MRI coffin thingy. To take more pictures of my hand. If I'm not glowing already from all the radiation I will be soon. At 945 I have cryosurgery. It's like the cervical biopsy except the freeze it all to death before skinning my insides alive. Then at 2 pm I get to find out the results of the lovely torture session/blood test. The question on everybody's minds do I have diabetes or just a deranged form of hypoglycemia. Conclusion my body hates me. It's probly just paying me back for years of abuse and starvation at the hands of evil moneygrubbing bosses. Wheee!