Some thoughts on Father's Day.
I'll just come out and say it: I hate Father's Day. I have for years. Every year, I wish that it will sort of magically disappear from the calendar, that the calendar makers forgot to fill that square in.
For me, Father's Day is awkward, and sort of ridiculous. It would be equivalent to a national holiday celebrating what an incredible time manager I am. I'm a terrible time manager, you see, and my dad, well...let's just say he never had the opportunity to learn how to be a father. In our relationship, I often feel that I am the adult.
Not that I don't love my dad. I do, and I want to get to know him as a person. I know he loves me, in his way. That's why his birthday is easier for me; I can celebrate him as person, I just don't want to have to put on some fake smile and pretend that his fathering deserves celebration. Though there are good things he's done, and those at least deserve some reflection on my part.
But that's for me to do in private, I guess, not for this post. This post is for the good fathers I have seen out there, the ones who give me hope. The ones who remind me that world is not bereft of good dads after all.
This post is for my coworker Matt. His young daughter is the apple of his eye. He told me once that he wants to remain close to her, that he wants her to be able to still come to him when she's a teenager. I tried to let him know just how important that would be to her, what an incredible difference it could make in her life.
This post is for author, speaker, and blogger, Jon Acuff, who tries to fill his daughters with such love that when the world tries to knock them over, they won't spill. Who framed the note his little girl wrote on a napkin, asking him to "pay attention!" so he would remember what's really important.
This post is for my pen pal,C. When he and his ex-wife divorced and she left the house, he and his daughter would read to each other every night. When they got tired of that, they'd just talk or make shadow puppets until they passed out. He still sends me stories about things he's enjoying with his daughter, and he's one of my favorite examples of how to be really present with your kids.
This post is for a dad whose name I don't even know. My mom has worked at daycares most of my life, and once while we were at the mall, we ran into the parents of a toddler she took care of. Mom stopped and chatted with them, and as they did, the dad crouched down to talk to his little daughter. He was a huge, hulking military guy, looked like he could crush your head with his bare hands, but when he talked to his daughter, when he called her "beautiful," he was achingly tender and it nearly broke me.
This post is for Byron, who I met at Storyline. He's the father of two young children, and he shared some stories about them while we were chatting. One of the things that most stood out was when he told me that he will sometimes put his children into situations that help develop character traits they may lack. He told me about how when his son was just learning to walk, he wanted a ball, and was looking at Byron as if to say, "Hey, bring it to me!" But Byron didn't. He instead held the ball, but made his son toddle to him to get it, encouraging him as he did. He told me of a more recent time when he was training to for the Ironman and fell down, really discouraged. His son was with him at the time, and he simply said, "Your dad's really discouraged right now. Would you pray for me?" What a beautiful example of teaching a son how families love and support each other. Byron didn't realize it, but with his stories he helped me understand just a little piece of how God works as a father to develop me, and that it's always with love and patience.
These are the men who inspire me, who remind me that there are good dads out there striving to make a difference in their kids' lives. It's interesting to note that I don't know any of them super-well, and in the case of a couple, they don't even know who I am. But that's sort of my point: To you dads out there: The world is paying attention. Sometimes good dads seem so scarce as to be non-existant, and when good ones show up, you shine like stars. WHAT YOU DO IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. You have incredible power for good, and it will mean more to your children than you could possibly know. So this is my word of encouragement: Keep going, keep striving, because you rock.
For me, Father's Day is awkward, and sort of ridiculous. It would be equivalent to a national holiday celebrating what an incredible time manager I am. I'm a terrible time manager, you see, and my dad, well...let's just say he never had the opportunity to learn how to be a father. In our relationship, I often feel that I am the adult.
Not that I don't love my dad. I do, and I want to get to know him as a person. I know he loves me, in his way. That's why his birthday is easier for me; I can celebrate him as person, I just don't want to have to put on some fake smile and pretend that his fathering deserves celebration. Though there are good things he's done, and those at least deserve some reflection on my part.
But that's for me to do in private, I guess, not for this post. This post is for the good fathers I have seen out there, the ones who give me hope. The ones who remind me that world is not bereft of good dads after all.
This post is for my coworker Matt. His young daughter is the apple of his eye. He told me once that he wants to remain close to her, that he wants her to be able to still come to him when she's a teenager. I tried to let him know just how important that would be to her, what an incredible difference it could make in her life.
This post is for author, speaker, and blogger, Jon Acuff, who tries to fill his daughters with such love that when the world tries to knock them over, they won't spill. Who framed the note his little girl wrote on a napkin, asking him to "pay attention!" so he would remember what's really important.
This post is for my pen pal,C. When he and his ex-wife divorced and she left the house, he and his daughter would read to each other every night. When they got tired of that, they'd just talk or make shadow puppets until they passed out. He still sends me stories about things he's enjoying with his daughter, and he's one of my favorite examples of how to be really present with your kids.
This post is for a dad whose name I don't even know. My mom has worked at daycares most of my life, and once while we were at the mall, we ran into the parents of a toddler she took care of. Mom stopped and chatted with them, and as they did, the dad crouched down to talk to his little daughter. He was a huge, hulking military guy, looked like he could crush your head with his bare hands, but when he talked to his daughter, when he called her "beautiful," he was achingly tender and it nearly broke me.
This post is for Byron, who I met at Storyline. He's the father of two young children, and he shared some stories about them while we were chatting. One of the things that most stood out was when he told me that he will sometimes put his children into situations that help develop character traits they may lack. He told me about how when his son was just learning to walk, he wanted a ball, and was looking at Byron as if to say, "Hey, bring it to me!" But Byron didn't. He instead held the ball, but made his son toddle to him to get it, encouraging him as he did. He told me of a more recent time when he was training to for the Ironman and fell down, really discouraged. His son was with him at the time, and he simply said, "Your dad's really discouraged right now. Would you pray for me?" What a beautiful example of teaching a son how families love and support each other. Byron didn't realize it, but with his stories he helped me understand just a little piece of how God works as a father to develop me, and that it's always with love and patience.
These are the men who inspire me, who remind me that there are good dads out there striving to make a difference in their kids' lives. It's interesting to note that I don't know any of them super-well, and in the case of a couple, they don't even know who I am. But that's sort of my point: To you dads out there: The world is paying attention. Sometimes good dads seem so scarce as to be non-existant, and when good ones show up, you shine like stars. WHAT YOU DO IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. You have incredible power for good, and it will mean more to your children than you could possibly know. So this is my word of encouragement: Keep going, keep striving, because you rock.