super depressed
So, I found out today that I probably cannot student teach next semester. I honestly cannot even explain how crushed I am. The reason I won't be able to student teach next semester is because I don't have a high enough GPA in my social studies content area. I really don't know what to do. I tried my hardest and it still was not enough. I pretty much quit working as a substitute teach this semester because I wanted to do well in my classes. I had 2 history classes with the same professor. My 100 level class was taught as a 300 level class and my 300 level class as a grad level course (in my opinion). I felt like I should have been able to simply show up to my 100 level class and read the chapters once and get a minimum of a C in the class. Well, I worked my ass off, read the book numerous times, recorded the book to listen to on drives, and did all the preparations for all 3 tests and I am pretty sure I am going to get a C. The other class I worked incredibly hard on my 300 level class and I will not get anything higher than a C (that's assuming that I did as well on my final as I though I did). I needed one B and one C to be able to student teach next semester and I don't think that is going to happen. I am beyond devastated. I have never had a panic attack before and I am pretty sure I had one today. I felt like I was going to throw up and I couldn't catch my breath... it was scary. I don't even know what I could have done differently to do better in either of those classes. Just really disappointed in myself and the history department. In my math classes were mostly math classes that were created for teachers so it was things that I would actually use. I also feel like these classes prepared me to teach. My social studies classes have all pretty much been a waste of time. The things I have learned have not helped me become a better teacher. I am beyond disappointed in Missouri State overall. I have just been very frustrated with the middle school program and even got upset enough to email the Dean of Education (who was very responsive and helpful!). Anyway, if you would pray for a miracle. Without a miracle, I am not student teaching next semester. I may seem calm but I am not at all... I just can't be having a panic attack for hours on end.