(no subject)
Wow, I haven't used this thing in awhile...I guess I just feel like I needed an outlet to bitch about something that I can't really talk about.
Last night I realized that getting hammered with your friends isn't a brilliant idea. Because, believe it or not, people sometimes do messed up shit when they're drunk. Last night was one of those times...it made me realize that people don't give a rats ass about anyone else. They only care about themselves, especially when they drink. So I got screwed last night (figuratively). I lost an ass load of respect for my best friend, which sucks. On top of that I pretty much lost another friend. It was my choosing to lose him, but it's sad none the less. I wish I could change my mind about him, but I've decided that he is spineless, self-centered, player. And that is just not the kind of person I want to be around. It just sucks because I thought he was such a great friend. People keep telling me not to hold a grudge, to let it go, but I don't think I can see him as the same person I used to. Everything is ruined now.
The situation last night put a lot of stuff in prospective for me as well. I think it's finally gotten through my head that I'm an amazing person and I deserve the best in life and I shouldn't let myself lose out on that just because someone makes me feel like I don't deserve it. Yup, that's what I learned. Now I just need to remember it. It's tough when you feel like you're always the runner up though. It's cliche, but I think I finally understand the saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride". Oh, well. My day will come I suppose, right?
Last night I realized that getting hammered with your friends isn't a brilliant idea. Because, believe it or not, people sometimes do messed up shit when they're drunk. Last night was one of those times...it made me realize that people don't give a rats ass about anyone else. They only care about themselves, especially when they drink. So I got screwed last night (figuratively). I lost an ass load of respect for my best friend, which sucks. On top of that I pretty much lost another friend. It was my choosing to lose him, but it's sad none the less. I wish I could change my mind about him, but I've decided that he is spineless, self-centered, player. And that is just not the kind of person I want to be around. It just sucks because I thought he was such a great friend. People keep telling me not to hold a grudge, to let it go, but I don't think I can see him as the same person I used to. Everything is ruined now.
The situation last night put a lot of stuff in prospective for me as well. I think it's finally gotten through my head that I'm an amazing person and I deserve the best in life and I shouldn't let myself lose out on that just because someone makes me feel like I don't deserve it. Yup, that's what I learned. Now I just need to remember it. It's tough when you feel like you're always the runner up though. It's cliche, but I think I finally understand the saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride". Oh, well. My day will come I suppose, right?