heart ache
you know the feeling when everything inside seems to be trying to cry, but doesnt have tears to do it? well that's how i feel right now.
michael broke up with me last night. he doesnt think that we can make it work. he says we are too different, and want different things in life. i dont think we want different things, and we're most definitally not too different. he doest even want to give me a chance to try. he says that he's been having doubts for the past year...of course he never told me any of that until about 2-3 weeks ago. how can he expect me to try working things out in 2-3 weeks...i just want the chance.
of course thing also will screw a lot of people over. he says he'll only be able to afford the appt for another 2.5 months. i cant afford it without him, and our room mates cant afford it without both of us. i understand that he had to get a car after his was totalled in the car accident, but he also just got a raise and a promotion and went to full time. but we also do share a room and a bed....
i feel like the world i thought was stable and secure is falling apart in pieces.
he wants me to be more independant...he's the one who didnt like me being independant before...he always wanted to know where i was, he would never let me pay for anything, he rarely even wanted me to go out without him....yet now he wants me to be more independant.
he says we have different ideas on how to raise children. well...those things can be worked around and compromised on.
he says we like different things...well...liking different things is not really a bad thing, nor an indicator of non-compatability. it just means that we like different things. we both like to read, but we read mostly different books...and? he likes the adrenaline rush he gets when he speeds down a street, or goes on the giant drop at 6 flaggs.....right now i get a bit nervous when he speeds....but then again, i did get into a car accident only 3 weeks ago. so did he but he wasnt nearly as injured as i was. i said that i would go on the giant drop with him once.....just to see what it's like..but i am a bit afriad of heights, and falling from them...but i said i would try it. i like going on rollercoasters..why cant he be ok with that? he likes watching horrors and actions. i like watching comedies and romances...but i also like the occaisional action, (just not too bloody) and he likes comedies and some romances too.
and on top of all that. i know that we're meant to be together...or that at least we can make it work for the rest of the year so that we dont need to screw people who are my friends over. i really dont want to move back home...home was not a good environment for me. yes it would save me money, but yet i just dont want to live there. i like being out on my own, and i like having my own place.
anyways, i have a quiz in 30 minutes and i havent even read the chapter yet. i've been too upset. maybe i'll feel better after time...maybe things will work out...maybe he'll realize that he really did mean it when he proposed three times and i said yes all three. maybe this is just a stage he's going through.
michael broke up with me last night. he doesnt think that we can make it work. he says we are too different, and want different things in life. i dont think we want different things, and we're most definitally not too different. he doest even want to give me a chance to try. he says that he's been having doubts for the past year...of course he never told me any of that until about 2-3 weeks ago. how can he expect me to try working things out in 2-3 weeks...i just want the chance.
of course thing also will screw a lot of people over. he says he'll only be able to afford the appt for another 2.5 months. i cant afford it without him, and our room mates cant afford it without both of us. i understand that he had to get a car after his was totalled in the car accident, but he also just got a raise and a promotion and went to full time. but we also do share a room and a bed....
i feel like the world i thought was stable and secure is falling apart in pieces.
he wants me to be more independant...he's the one who didnt like me being independant before...he always wanted to know where i was, he would never let me pay for anything, he rarely even wanted me to go out without him....yet now he wants me to be more independant.
he says we have different ideas on how to raise children. well...those things can be worked around and compromised on.
he says we like different things...well...liking different things is not really a bad thing, nor an indicator of non-compatability. it just means that we like different things. we both like to read, but we read mostly different books...and? he likes the adrenaline rush he gets when he speeds down a street, or goes on the giant drop at 6 flaggs.....right now i get a bit nervous when he speeds....but then again, i did get into a car accident only 3 weeks ago. so did he but he wasnt nearly as injured as i was. i said that i would go on the giant drop with him once.....just to see what it's like..but i am a bit afriad of heights, and falling from them...but i said i would try it. i like going on rollercoasters..why cant he be ok with that? he likes watching horrors and actions. i like watching comedies and romances...but i also like the occaisional action, (just not too bloody) and he likes comedies and some romances too.
and on top of all that. i know that we're meant to be together...or that at least we can make it work for the rest of the year so that we dont need to screw people who are my friends over. i really dont want to move back home...home was not a good environment for me. yes it would save me money, but yet i just dont want to live there. i like being out on my own, and i like having my own place.
anyways, i have a quiz in 30 minutes and i havent even read the chapter yet. i've been too upset. maybe i'll feel better after time...maybe things will work out...maybe he'll realize that he really did mean it when he proposed three times and i said yes all three. maybe this is just a stage he's going through.