I really messed up this time
Im such a fucking failure! I work in a ice cream polar..and last night after my shift i got a chocolate shake! thats like 250 cals! And i had ice cream!!! Omg..Im such a fat pig! I need to stop this.. my fast is now starting tomorow cuz my mom is going back to work and tomorows her first day so there wont be any pressure to eat! Thank God! Hopefuly tomorow night my mom will bring me to gym i really need it! I still have some laxatives from lastyear (when i use to take them) im thinking of retaking them or i might just go out and buy some water pills.. so that when i get hungry i can just pop a few of thoses. I havent cut myself in 2 days=)! Im quite pround i've been doing it since feb so im hoping i can quit. My next pay check is this friday so thats when i think i'll buy the water pills and maybe some more laxatives. Im still very unsure of the laxatives tho cuz lastyear when i took them my bum started bleeding.. and it hurt like yell! Well..I guess thats all for now! bye.