(no subject)
sometimes i really dont know what i would do without my friends. this year i have really found out who my real friends are. those that no matter what we always end up together again. shockingly i found out that someone who i previously thought was a great friend really isnt. but you live and you learn i guess. senior year so far is a total blast! and it will only get better. i never liked sarah grahm but she is in fccla with me and one on one she really is kinda cool. amazingly. im opening myself up to loads of options. i plan on having an awsome year and now that i have a car, even if it is a hoopty, maybe my girls and i will get together more often.
cait wrote an awsome journal entry today for rotella. it was about girls and society's view of them. it was so amazing. cait's great. but it was so true. im terribly jealous of her. she loves herself for who she is. im obsessed with being skinnier. i dont know. im not going to go through what i did before but working out doesnt seem to be cutting it. i keep thinking that my little angel is going to be a year old and i have nothing to show for it except wider hips, extra belly pudge and a servere case of depression that no one sees. at least not in person. its crazy because i dont even show that part of me to my mom.
i had a dream about chris and me. we were with gracie, she was about a year old, like now, and he had her on his shoulders and we were at a park somewhere. it was so beautiful and so perfect. god i wish he could know her. shes so perfect in every way. anyone would be proud to claim her. shes beautiful and independant and shes a part of us. everything, and i mean everything would be different if he would have stuck by me. God works in mysterious way i suppose. in my dream we were so happy. oh Lord we were so happy. just like when chris and i were together but happier. happier because gracie was with us. a part of us. it made us stronger. it was amazing. i thought it was real til i woke up. well... i guess that thats it. im done boring you guys. i just have to vent somewhere. love you
cait wrote an awsome journal entry today for rotella. it was about girls and society's view of them. it was so amazing. cait's great. but it was so true. im terribly jealous of her. she loves herself for who she is. im obsessed with being skinnier. i dont know. im not going to go through what i did before but working out doesnt seem to be cutting it. i keep thinking that my little angel is going to be a year old and i have nothing to show for it except wider hips, extra belly pudge and a servere case of depression that no one sees. at least not in person. its crazy because i dont even show that part of me to my mom.
i had a dream about chris and me. we were with gracie, she was about a year old, like now, and he had her on his shoulders and we were at a park somewhere. it was so beautiful and so perfect. god i wish he could know her. shes so perfect in every way. anyone would be proud to claim her. shes beautiful and independant and shes a part of us. everything, and i mean everything would be different if he would have stuck by me. God works in mysterious way i suppose. in my dream we were so happy. oh Lord we were so happy. just like when chris and i were together but happier. happier because gracie was with us. a part of us. it made us stronger. it was amazing. i thought it was real til i woke up. well... i guess that thats it. im done boring you guys. i just have to vent somewhere. love you