Misspelleed Zobmies (Myspace bulletin I posted)
I filled this out on Myspace, and some of you know why this is so funny, and since you hate/don't use Myspace, I'm posting it here for your amusement (this means you, John and Kathy)
ZOMBIE ATTACK!
Situation- zombies are about to attack us and you only have the top eight friends on your list to survive and go to war with you....
1. Wolf AKA Jamey
2. Justinathan
3. Unrepentant Geek AKA Mike B.
4. P.C.
5. N1X3L AKA Garret
6. Cynthia
7. Captain Cleavage AKA Jessica (yes, Lucy, THAT Jessica)
8. Hayato
Who is the fastest?
As long as he's not drunk, and it's not fat season, it's gonna be Justinathan. He's really athletic, plays a lot of Ultimate Frisbee, and jumps over children for fun. Unless he gets cocky and makes bets. Then it's probably Hayato, and I say that because he doesn't have health probelms and is pretty fit.
Who is the most logical and strategic?
Definitely Mike. Like it or not, he's really good at Risk and Settlers of Cattan. He's one of the more fair and balanced people I know. If Mike got eaten by zombies, I'd say Garret.
Who would you entrust to carry the food?
Anyone but Justin. He'd fucking eat it all or give it to the homeless or something. Jess is going to law school, so food lawyering shouldn't be far off. (:
Who would carry the weapons and ammo?
Too bad Kathy's not on Myspace. I have to give the weapons to Jamey. If we were in an emergency, they'd probably be his anyway. And he has a strong back.
Who would drive the car?
I would say "Let Justin". But we all know he'd just ride over the zombies until our tires were caked with flesh and the car wouldn't ride. Then he'd light it on fire and we'd get eaten eventually. Again, probably Mike. He's responsible, and a good driver. No way in hell would I let Garret have the wheel.
Who would you eat if you ran out of provisions?
Hayato. He's a guy, so he eats more than the women, so that narrows it down. He's younger than half of the rest (healthier meat), and he's filled with fewer "toxins" than Justin (alcohol and windex) and P.C. (diabetic survival chemistry). Plus he's Japanese, everyone knows they're all healthy and shit.
Who would slow you down?
Cynthia, because she's got CFS. No running, plus being tired from escaping/immolating zombies would probably flare up the cognitive problems. It'd be a shame to lose her, and I probably wouldn't be far behind for the same reasons.
Is there anyone who you don't think will make it?
Cynthia, and probably PC. Short supply of food and all that activity might give PC a low blood sugar death. Cynthia, for reasons above.
Would you shoot number 1 if they were bitten and going to turn?
I'd make someone else do it. I couldn't.
Who would be bait to a booby-trap?
Justin, or Garret. Just look at them.
Who would mutinize your leadership?
Probably Hayato. That bastard.
Who would be the hero?
Probably Jamey or Hayato. They've both had a lot of martial arts, though I'm betting Jamey's had more experience with guns. Then again, P.C. is really good with swords (an old D&D tip: slashing weapons against zombies), and Justin has the weirdest luck. It might be a toss-up.
Who would you sleep with when you realized you could die?
I suppose that depends on who's left. If Jamey's still alive (or newly dead, and not too gorey) I'd sleep with him.
Who would take one for the team?
Justin. He's an idiot. (WINDEX?!?!)
Would you sacrifice yourself for number 7?
Why not? People are always confusing Jess and me. Might as well let her take over (:
ZOMBIE ATTACK!
Situation- zombies are about to attack us and you only have the top eight friends on your list to survive and go to war with you....
1. Wolf AKA Jamey
2. Justinathan
3. Unrepentant Geek AKA Mike B.
4. P.C.
5. N1X3L AKA Garret
6. Cynthia
7. Captain Cleavage AKA Jessica (yes, Lucy, THAT Jessica)
8. Hayato
Who is the fastest?
As long as he's not drunk, and it's not fat season, it's gonna be Justinathan. He's really athletic, plays a lot of Ultimate Frisbee, and jumps over children for fun. Unless he gets cocky and makes bets. Then it's probably Hayato, and I say that because he doesn't have health probelms and is pretty fit.
Who is the most logical and strategic?
Definitely Mike. Like it or not, he's really good at Risk and Settlers of Cattan. He's one of the more fair and balanced people I know. If Mike got eaten by zombies, I'd say Garret.
Who would you entrust to carry the food?
Anyone but Justin. He'd fucking eat it all or give it to the homeless or something. Jess is going to law school, so food lawyering shouldn't be far off. (:
Who would carry the weapons and ammo?
Too bad Kathy's not on Myspace. I have to give the weapons to Jamey. If we were in an emergency, they'd probably be his anyway. And he has a strong back.
Who would drive the car?
I would say "Let Justin". But we all know he'd just ride over the zombies until our tires were caked with flesh and the car wouldn't ride. Then he'd light it on fire and we'd get eaten eventually. Again, probably Mike. He's responsible, and a good driver. No way in hell would I let Garret have the wheel.
Who would you eat if you ran out of provisions?
Hayato. He's a guy, so he eats more than the women, so that narrows it down. He's younger than half of the rest (healthier meat), and he's filled with fewer "toxins" than Justin (alcohol and windex) and P.C. (diabetic survival chemistry). Plus he's Japanese, everyone knows they're all healthy and shit.
Who would slow you down?
Cynthia, because she's got CFS. No running, plus being tired from escaping/immolating zombies would probably flare up the cognitive problems. It'd be a shame to lose her, and I probably wouldn't be far behind for the same reasons.
Is there anyone who you don't think will make it?
Cynthia, and probably PC. Short supply of food and all that activity might give PC a low blood sugar death. Cynthia, for reasons above.
Would you shoot number 1 if they were bitten and going to turn?
I'd make someone else do it. I couldn't.
Who would be bait to a booby-trap?
Justin, or Garret. Just look at them.
Who would mutinize your leadership?
Probably Hayato. That bastard.
Who would be the hero?
Probably Jamey or Hayato. They've both had a lot of martial arts, though I'm betting Jamey's had more experience with guns. Then again, P.C. is really good with swords (an old D&D tip: slashing weapons against zombies), and Justin has the weirdest luck. It might be a toss-up.
Who would you sleep with when you realized you could die?
I suppose that depends on who's left. If Jamey's still alive (or newly dead, and not too gorey) I'd sleep with him.
Who would take one for the team?
Justin. He's an idiot. (WINDEX?!?!)
Would you sacrifice yourself for number 7?
Why not? People are always confusing Jess and me. Might as well let her take over (: