One-shot - Ai Nante Part 2/3 [song-fic]
“hontou ni kokoro de aiseteiru no?
ima demo fuan da yo yeah
hitokiri yume no naka tadoritsuita basho
furueteru kimi ga iru yo…”
Jin looks up to the sky. It had been almost a month he was there. A place that he always had been dreaming about. Snow falls on him, gently and slowly. His mind keeps thinking about the past as he walks on the street, alone. This is a place of his dreams, something that he never thought will become a reality, but somehow he feels empty inside him. He doesn’t know why. This is something that he wants, he’s happy but empty. “I love you, Kazuya… I love you so much… But, I don’t know if you feel the same feelings towards me…”
“Jin~!!!” Kazuya run, chasing Jin. “Jin~!!!”
Suddenly, Jin stops walking. “WHAT DO YOU WANT KAZUYA?! WHAT DO YOU WANT?!” Jin screams. “Why you need to debut with Pi first?! Before KAT-TUN?! Why Kazuya?! Why?!”
“It wasn’t my decision, Jin… It was Kitagawa-san’s decisions… I didn’t have any other choice, Jin…” Kazuya hug Jin from back. “I’m sorry Jin… I’m sorry…”
In just a second, Jin freeing himself from Kazuya’s embraces, and walks away from Kazuya - just like that. Jin keep walking, leaving the crying Kazuya alone. “I don’t know which one you love more, Kazuya… Your work and career, or me?” Jin let out a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry for hurting you, Kazuya… But I know that Pi will help you…”
Jin takes an elevator, and pushes the no. 15 button, the place where he lives at LA. A 25-floor apartment. He walks slowly to his apartments, and he become shocked when seeing someone squatting in front of his apartment’s door. Clearly, that person was shivering. Jin could see that - that person’s shoulder was shaking.
“Mr.? Are you okay?” Jin asks slowly. Once again, he shocked when he realized that that person was Kazuya. “Kazuya?”
Kazuya looks up when he listen someone calling his name. ‘Jin…’ His lips were moving, trying to say something, bout nothing comes out. His face was so pale.
Jin just keep looking at Kazuya’s face, he was too shock to even say a word. After a few seconds Jin’s stunned, he manage to say something. “What are you doing here? And just wearing that?” He look at Kazuya’s outfit. Kazuya just wearing a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and a winter coat, if it could be call at that. It was too thin to be a winter coat - in Jin’s opinions.
Kazuya’s lips still moving and still, nothing come out from his mouth. He tries to stand up, but he collapsed.
Jin shocked. “Kazuya!!!” He quickly grab Kazuya’s waist, and bring Kazuya in into his apartment.
Kazuya opened his eyes slowly. But it was kinda blurry. It takes a few seconds for his minds and his eyes to working properly. He then sees smiling Jin in front of him.
“Hey…”
Kazuya smile back to Jin. “Hey…” He tries to sit. It was uncomfortable to talk while lying. Jin helps him to.
“Why are you here? Suddenly…”
“You didn’t read it? I did send you an e-mail…”
“You did…? I’m sorry, but it had been such a long time since the last time I checking it… So, you’ll stay here?”
“If I can do that… If you let me to…” Kazuya smile.
“Of course you can do that. You’re my…” Jin suddenly stops. “But why are you here?”
“I… We… We all are having a week of leave. Kitagawa-san’s let us. He says that we might need to rest a little bit. So, I decided to visit you… I’ll be here for three days.” Kazuya said it as his eyes keep looking at Jin’s.
“Oh… Okay…”
Kazuya touch his head. Pain. For hours he was in the plane, plus almost two hours waiting for Jin, he was so tired. He really need a proper rest.
“Maybe you need to rest… Sleep…”
Kazuya obey Jin’s advice. Jin helps him to lie back. In a few seconds, Kazuya’s eyes were closed, his breaths are all even - he had sleep.
Jin touches Kazuya’s head. “I miss you, Kazuya… So much… Wasn’t it was a good thing if you could be by my side…? Forever…?” Jin then takes place beside Kazuya, and sleep embracing the smaller guy.
~*~ WHAT WAS THE TRUTH, ACTUALLY…? ~*~
“nakanaide
hanasanai yo
subete wo nagesute temo
Mirai nante
kimi nashi ja mienai yo
Iranai yo…”
“Kazuya?” Jin shocked when he heard sobs. He then realized that his own chest was wet, of Kazuya’s warm tears. He touches Kazuya’s head. “Kazuya?” But he did get no response from the smaller guy. Only a few seconds later he realized that Kazuya was actually sleeping - he’s crying in his sleep. Somehow, he could hear Kazuya muttering something.
“Jin… Don’t - let - me - go… I - love - you - Jin…”
Jin embraces the smaller guy tightly. “I won’t let go of your hand, Kazuya… I won’t do it again… No matter what happens…” Jin kiss Kazuya’s forehead, once. He really doesn’t know why he feels so pain inside his heart seeing Kazuya like that - seeing Kazuya become weak. He feels guilty because he feels Kazuya become like that because of himself. “I won’t let go of you… Even if I need to let go of everything, just for you… I’m sorry for being so selfish, Kazuya. I love you so much until I don’t want to share you with anyone else… I’m so selfish, Kazuya… I’m sorry… I’m so sorry for being so selfish… I’m sorry Kazuya…”
“Jin… Don’t let me go… I love you, Jin…” Kazuya embrace the taller guy. “If you’re not here, by my side, I really don’t know what will happen to me… I can’t see my future, Jin… I can’t see it without you by my side… Jin, I love you…”