Quest 177
[Private//Hackable by Friends]
It rather feels as though life has been full of backwards things lately, doesn't it? Everything's all mixed up and topsy-turvy and...I don't know. Things aren't making sense lately--or at least, less sense than usual, since there isn't much that really does make sense in a place like the City--and it's unsettling, to say the least, when they don't.
It's been a while now, hasn't it, since we started trying to find patterns in it all? And we've found some of them, too, like that weekend of random curses that's been coming for almost a year now, if not a year already. And I suppose one could say it's pattern enough that most of us were able to recognize that something bad was coming before it arrived, just from the lights in the sky. But there's no sense to this, and there's something missing, like a piece of a puzzle that's been taken away from the rest. It feels as though no matter how we look at the pieces we have, they'll never fit together to form a whole picture. Something's missing. And the rest of it is...backwards.
Perhaps it's just the way things seem to have been shaken up lately--and not just from the earthquakes. A few months of quiet, and then suddenly it's the middle of March and Sam and I are...turning on each other, which we'd never do, not ever. And now I've moved into the room upstairs, with a new view and a new path to take every day to go in and out, which is by no means unpleasant, just...different. It's odd not being just down the hall from Sam anymore. And then those plagues from a story that just about everyone had heard of but me, and then all the waiting around for an angel of death, except that it wasn't an angel, it was that dog--
And is it wrong, that I don't want to dislike him, somehow? Even after everything he did, even despite everything I know...I don't want to dislike him.
Maybe that makes me foolish. Maybe this is one instance where my optimism is unfounded, and I should listen to my friends or else it's going to get me into trouble. Goodness knows I've had plenty of those moments already, around here. And while I doubt Cain would go out of his way to say he told me so...well, if he's right about all this, then he won't have to. It'll be clear enough already.
But somehow, I don't want to believe it. How could someone--even a terror like that--be evil through and through if he knows my name and will thank me for a gift of cake and will hope that someone is taking care of a shady corner of the Square that he's fond of? It just doesn't make sense. Why would he? Why would his mother say she paid the ferryman for our sakes? He's unpredictable, certainly, and dangerous, of course. But is he evil, really?
I can think of a few people here in the City that I'd call unpredictable and dangerous, too, and yet I wouldn't call them evil. Quite the contrary, I'd--
Maybe I'm wrong. Perhaps this time it's wrong to want to believe that not all the powers that control this place are against us or treat us as little more than fuel for their clock, as they make use of our misery. Maybe I'm a fool, for wanting so badly to hold on to that small sliver of hope, when it's clear that all this isn't over yet, and something even worse may be coming for us. I shouldn't believe in him, should I? When I've seen what he's done, the damage he's caused, the terror he's put us all through? Why do I want to hope that there might be more to him than just all that?
...And yet, nothing is as it appears. Isn't that how it goes, Daddy?
[/Private]
That was a nice curse yesterday, wasn't it? I'm glad we finally had a nice one again. After everything we went through last week, I should think we've more than deserved the respite. It's rather interesting, though, that we had a curse that brought all the dead back to life so soon after a day when we were all concerned about the coming of an angel of death, and particularly so since...er...I don't seem to recall any word of anyone actually dying from such a visitor. It's rather backwards, isn't it? Here we'd all expected to see a rise in the numbers of the dead in the City, and then the next thing you know, it's just the opposite--they were all restored to life, even if it were only for the day. It's strange.
I still can't help but wonder about Adrastus's visit, though. Did, er, anyone else happen to speak with him while he was here? I have a feeling that wasn't the last we'll see of him, either, so it'd be prudent to-- He seems to be quite concerned with things like fairness and keeping balances and, as he mentioned to me, coming to collect when "due is due".
I wonder if the two things are connected somehow? An angel of death, a due being due, and then everyone coming to life again? It's quite the puzzle, to be sure.
Of course, sometimes the best ways to deal with puzzles are to leave them alone awhile, and keep busy with something else instead. That was an old trick of Daddy's, I think, and it's worked well for me every time I've tried it, so I don't see why it shouldn't work again. Which is why I spent the day getting some chores done, like tending my flowers! I seem to have acquired quite a few of them, honestly, what with the window box of roses that Kurama grew for me, the pot of roses Sam surprised me with, and the seeds that Dr. Chase got me for my birthday. And that's just to name a few! I must admit, I do have particularly high hopes for the seeds, though. It says they're meant to grant a wish of joy, and I think joy is something we could all use a little more of, here in the City. So we'll see how that all turns out.
...Well, assuming I can manage to keep Spartacus from eating them, of course, which is turning out to be a very real concern of mine these days.
It rather feels as though life has been full of backwards things lately, doesn't it? Everything's all mixed up and topsy-turvy and...I don't know. Things aren't making sense lately--or at least, less sense than usual, since there isn't much that really does make sense in a place like the City--and it's unsettling, to say the least, when they don't.
It's been a while now, hasn't it, since we started trying to find patterns in it all? And we've found some of them, too, like that weekend of random curses that's been coming for almost a year now, if not a year already. And I suppose one could say it's pattern enough that most of us were able to recognize that something bad was coming before it arrived, just from the lights in the sky. But there's no sense to this, and there's something missing, like a piece of a puzzle that's been taken away from the rest. It feels as though no matter how we look at the pieces we have, they'll never fit together to form a whole picture. Something's missing. And the rest of it is...backwards.
Perhaps it's just the way things seem to have been shaken up lately--and not just from the earthquakes. A few months of quiet, and then suddenly it's the middle of March and Sam and I are...turning on each other, which we'd never do, not ever. And now I've moved into the room upstairs, with a new view and a new path to take every day to go in and out, which is by no means unpleasant, just...different. It's odd not being just down the hall from Sam anymore. And then those plagues from a story that just about everyone had heard of but me, and then all the waiting around for an angel of death, except that it wasn't an angel, it was that dog--
And is it wrong, that I don't want to dislike him, somehow? Even after everything he did, even despite everything I know...I don't want to dislike him.
Maybe that makes me foolish. Maybe this is one instance where my optimism is unfounded, and I should listen to my friends or else it's going to get me into trouble. Goodness knows I've had plenty of those moments already, around here. And while I doubt Cain would go out of his way to say he told me so...well, if he's right about all this, then he won't have to. It'll be clear enough already.
But somehow, I don't want to believe it. How could someone--even a terror like that--be evil through and through if he knows my name and will thank me for a gift of cake and will hope that someone is taking care of a shady corner of the Square that he's fond of? It just doesn't make sense. Why would he? Why would his mother say she paid the ferryman for our sakes? He's unpredictable, certainly, and dangerous, of course. But is he evil, really?
I can think of a few people here in the City that I'd call unpredictable and dangerous, too, and yet I wouldn't call them evil. Quite the contrary, I'd--
Maybe I'm wrong. Perhaps this time it's wrong to want to believe that not all the powers that control this place are against us or treat us as little more than fuel for their clock, as they make use of our misery. Maybe I'm a fool, for wanting so badly to hold on to that small sliver of hope, when it's clear that all this isn't over yet, and something even worse may be coming for us. I shouldn't believe in him, should I? When I've seen what he's done, the damage he's caused, the terror he's put us all through? Why do I want to hope that there might be more to him than just all that?
...And yet, nothing is as it appears. Isn't that how it goes, Daddy?
[/Private]
That was a nice curse yesterday, wasn't it? I'm glad we finally had a nice one again. After everything we went through last week, I should think we've more than deserved the respite. It's rather interesting, though, that we had a curse that brought all the dead back to life so soon after a day when we were all concerned about the coming of an angel of death, and particularly so since...er...I don't seem to recall any word of anyone actually dying from such a visitor. It's rather backwards, isn't it? Here we'd all expected to see a rise in the numbers of the dead in the City, and then the next thing you know, it's just the opposite--they were all restored to life, even if it were only for the day. It's strange.
I still can't help but wonder about Adrastus's visit, though. Did, er, anyone else happen to speak with him while he was here? I have a feeling that wasn't the last we'll see of him, either, so it'd be prudent to-- He seems to be quite concerned with things like fairness and keeping balances and, as he mentioned to me, coming to collect when "due is due".
I wonder if the two things are connected somehow? An angel of death, a due being due, and then everyone coming to life again? It's quite the puzzle, to be sure.
Of course, sometimes the best ways to deal with puzzles are to leave them alone awhile, and keep busy with something else instead. That was an old trick of Daddy's, I think, and it's worked well for me every time I've tried it, so I don't see why it shouldn't work again. Which is why I spent the day getting some chores done, like tending my flowers! I seem to have acquired quite a few of them, honestly, what with the window box of roses that Kurama grew for me, the pot of roses Sam surprised me with, and the seeds that Dr. Chase got me for my birthday. And that's just to name a few! I must admit, I do have particularly high hopes for the seeds, though. It says they're meant to grant a wish of joy, and I think joy is something we could all use a little more of, here in the City. So we'll see how that all turns out.
...Well, assuming I can manage to keep Spartacus from eating them, of course, which is turning out to be a very real concern of mine these days.