Commit a sin twice, and it will not seem to you a sin
Well. Here I am. It's 5 in the morning. I'm sitting in front of my quantitative analysis lab, more then ready to just shit all over it, as vulgar as that sounds, because I hate it so much. Chemistry and I simply don't get along, and I never really asked to be friends with the subject anyway. Too bad it's part of my major.
I recently devirginized myself of adderall sobriety, three days ago to be exact, and am on it again right now. It's wearing off now, because I took it at 9:45 p.m. I lasted so long without giving into temptation, trying to be pure in my procrastination and work ethic, or lack of one. This semester has been the worst I've ever had to witness of my laziness though. I've nearly established this reallly bad habit of not caring at all about my assignments, for any of my classes. Except for my bio classes. Which my teacher Vlad is pretty much the best guy ever, I kill to be his # 1 assistant. Notice how I say kill, and not I would kill, because I'm clearly the best candidate for his awesomeness.
I get anxiety when I have to write papers now a days, because I know I can write them well, and I'm not used to writing drafts at all or even having some sort of outline. Because I love making things harder for myself, man, i'm an idiot. So, I usually end up just not turning in anything at all and prefer pretending I wrote all my thoughts down in an organized fashion. Or, I finally kick my ass into gear, and turn in my papers really late. It's hard to say what my GPA is going to be this semester. I told my dad I would try hard to get a 3.0. Frankly I don't see that happening. My average for every semester so far is a 2.8. Which is the minimum high GPA. THe very minimum. I'm a smart ass, and a poor student. What separates the smart asses from the geniuses is, the geniuses still get shit done. I never considered myself a genius by any means. But, I would still like to take some cues from them.
I'm still playing rugby, and am noticing my improvement in playing. I'm definitely stronger and more fit than I ever was before, which is a nice little benny. I haven't decided if I'm going to play next semester yet.
I'm doing the Vagina Monologues in a few weeks. THat is, if the student directors ever email the schedule. It's a bit sad when we have EVE ENSLER coming to speak for this year's graduating class, and our cast hasn't even had a rehearsal yet when we're performing in two weeks. yikes. I'm doing The Flood, wish me luck.
My grandfather is dying in the hospital from a stroke, and I become more aware of it every day. I didn't have an exceptionally close relationship with him, and there were many things about him that I didn't like at all. But he was my only grandfather, and the best piece of advice he always gave me was, "You've got to keep feeding that brain of yours Stephie, it's what will help you get through life." Well, grandad, rest assured, I've been feeding it all along, just like you said. I might have been feeding it with more liberal ideas and thoughts than you had in mind, but trust me, I'll get through fine. I love you. I hope that you leave with peace of heart and sound mind, knowing that you weren't alone in your last breaths.
I thought I'd be going to the Virgin Islands for a work exchange program at this eco-tourist resort for the month of July. But, they didn't get back to me or my friend Katie. We're both tremendously crestfallen. I seriously thought we had a good chance of getting in too, not just optimistically, but practically too. We both had friggin inside connections to the place. I bet it's just because we're inexperienced and young in the field of stupid maintenance work. Whatever yuppies.
The one thing I'm looking forward to right now is taking a shower in two hours and going to breakfast before Italian class. I secretly do wish I was an early-riser. But, it just ain't possible to be an early riser and a late faller.
Yes. I'm still absorbed with myself mostly. No, I refuse to fully accept the possibility that I could be a mild narcissist. I just don't have very much control at all right now over my life, partly due to personal choice and the other part being out of my hands. Having little control means having little time to plan ahead. And having little time to plan ahead, combined with an overactive scope of interests leads to being a bastard at keeping in touch. I know who I have lost sight of, and I'm trying to get back on the friend path, honestly I am. The hours are devoured like bread to starving children, I'm full but there's never enough. Oh dear, oh dear.
You are my favorite distraction.
I recently devirginized myself of adderall sobriety, three days ago to be exact, and am on it again right now. It's wearing off now, because I took it at 9:45 p.m. I lasted so long without giving into temptation, trying to be pure in my procrastination and work ethic, or lack of one. This semester has been the worst I've ever had to witness of my laziness though. I've nearly established this reallly bad habit of not caring at all about my assignments, for any of my classes. Except for my bio classes. Which my teacher Vlad is pretty much the best guy ever, I kill to be his # 1 assistant. Notice how I say kill, and not I would kill, because I'm clearly the best candidate for his awesomeness.
I get anxiety when I have to write papers now a days, because I know I can write them well, and I'm not used to writing drafts at all or even having some sort of outline. Because I love making things harder for myself, man, i'm an idiot. So, I usually end up just not turning in anything at all and prefer pretending I wrote all my thoughts down in an organized fashion. Or, I finally kick my ass into gear, and turn in my papers really late. It's hard to say what my GPA is going to be this semester. I told my dad I would try hard to get a 3.0. Frankly I don't see that happening. My average for every semester so far is a 2.8. Which is the minimum high GPA. THe very minimum. I'm a smart ass, and a poor student. What separates the smart asses from the geniuses is, the geniuses still get shit done. I never considered myself a genius by any means. But, I would still like to take some cues from them.
I'm still playing rugby, and am noticing my improvement in playing. I'm definitely stronger and more fit than I ever was before, which is a nice little benny. I haven't decided if I'm going to play next semester yet.
I'm doing the Vagina Monologues in a few weeks. THat is, if the student directors ever email the schedule. It's a bit sad when we have EVE ENSLER coming to speak for this year's graduating class, and our cast hasn't even had a rehearsal yet when we're performing in two weeks. yikes. I'm doing The Flood, wish me luck.
My grandfather is dying in the hospital from a stroke, and I become more aware of it every day. I didn't have an exceptionally close relationship with him, and there were many things about him that I didn't like at all. But he was my only grandfather, and the best piece of advice he always gave me was, "You've got to keep feeding that brain of yours Stephie, it's what will help you get through life." Well, grandad, rest assured, I've been feeding it all along, just like you said. I might have been feeding it with more liberal ideas and thoughts than you had in mind, but trust me, I'll get through fine. I love you. I hope that you leave with peace of heart and sound mind, knowing that you weren't alone in your last breaths.
I thought I'd be going to the Virgin Islands for a work exchange program at this eco-tourist resort for the month of July. But, they didn't get back to me or my friend Katie. We're both tremendously crestfallen. I seriously thought we had a good chance of getting in too, not just optimistically, but practically too. We both had friggin inside connections to the place. I bet it's just because we're inexperienced and young in the field of stupid maintenance work. Whatever yuppies.
The one thing I'm looking forward to right now is taking a shower in two hours and going to breakfast before Italian class. I secretly do wish I was an early-riser. But, it just ain't possible to be an early riser and a late faller.
Yes. I'm still absorbed with myself mostly. No, I refuse to fully accept the possibility that I could be a mild narcissist. I just don't have very much control at all right now over my life, partly due to personal choice and the other part being out of my hands. Having little control means having little time to plan ahead. And having little time to plan ahead, combined with an overactive scope of interests leads to being a bastard at keeping in touch. I know who I have lost sight of, and I'm trying to get back on the friend path, honestly I am. The hours are devoured like bread to starving children, I'm full but there's never enough. Oh dear, oh dear.
You are my favorite distraction.