(no subject)
well nothing's up really. nothing's down either. school's not cool, but neither is staying home. gets boring. i have a lot of homework, but at the same time i feel like i have a lot of free time. i feel incapable of everything, capable of nothing, yet people tell me i can do anything. look a purple crayon. i remember crayons. i liked them a lot. now i don't have time or patience to color. oh wait, i guess it's blue. great, now i'm color blind. oh well, as long as i can still see the puck and the ice and my stick cradling it gently while I fly up the ice, i'm happy. guess you don't need color for that. but i really need my eyes and ears. i hope i get to keep those. otherwise i wouldn't be able to hear the swish of my skates and the boom of my body hitting the boards while i fight for the puck in the corner. battling so primitively. everything is simple on the cold, smooth battlefield where boyfriends, grades, families, and everything else is put aside to see who is the fittest, the fastest, the strongest, the one with the most perseverence. maybe that's why i love it. i can get away. nothing follows me there, helping itself to a piggyback ride as i struggle on with my battle for contentedness and the impossible American Dream. This is where all that ends. I'm free out here. Simply, Undeniably, inescapebly, impossibly, indescribably, amazingly, miraculously free. what will i do when it's gone? i don't want to begin to think about it.