(no subject)
sometimes i feel like im always pushing away the people who i love the most. first my parents then brandon. i've never felt more alone. my eyes hurt from crying, and my heart just aches. i dont understand how it all worked out. is he happy now? now that hes got a girl to fuck. but tell me brandon, do you love her? does she love you back? if thats the case and you really do love her, how long? has it been two days? or has it been 5 monthes? you tell me. you say i hurt you? well maybe i did. but hunny, you crushed me. i cant imagine ever cheating on you. i cant imagine ever fucking the first guy i seen. Did you ever really love me? or were you saying that to keep me around? you may ask yourself "why did she break up with me?" but these are the questions that haven't stopped running through my mind since i heard about your 'other girl'. how can you sleep next to her knowing im just down the road? i've read her blogs, i seen it in writing. everything you've said to me is a lie. the tears you've 'cried over me' are bullshit. its time to face the truth. knowing that the past nine months of my life has been a lie breaks my heart. theres nothing you could do, nothing you could say, to make me believe otherwise. all i can say is that i hope your happy now. you'll never have me again.