100 Adventures - #8 - Missing and Here...
Saturday, Miss Rachel came over to visit. She was in a happy mood, which is always nice. She played with toys and eventually we found the Baby First network on TV. Our first time watching that. Rachel seemed to enjoy the conversations we had with her about it, and eventually got sleepy and took a nap on Tara in the rocking chair. After an hour or so Baby First started getting rowdy so I turned it off...and Rachel woke up. I was across the apartment in the kitchen. She sat up, looked for me, smiled and waved! How cute is she? We also visited a downstairs neighbor and she had some pears and raspberries and a bottle. Always great to see her.
But...
I am missing the other kiddos - particularly Adam - so much, it's kind of ridiculous. There are reminders of him everywere. The picture he drew the first time he visited last December is still hanging on our fridge. The fact that the last time we watched him, he was all about learning jokes and I had to search my brain for the ones I'd liked at 7. Practically, the next day, I was eating a new brand of popsicle (thanks, heat wave!) and saw a hilarious joke on the stick. Every night, I've seen a new silly joke, and it makes my heart ache a little. The same way it does at smaller moments: like when I was channel surfing this morning and flipped passed Ninjago - which I had never even heard of prior to getting to know him - and Open Season 3 - which he insisted I watch. Memories are even inside our fridge. In the small stockpile of barbecue sauce that we collected when we realized he liked it...
I watched Lilo & Stitch earlier this week, too, for the first time since 2004, when I watched it with Meg - who I babysat when she was 8 - and the whole movie was full of memories of her. We watched the movie in her little brothers room, on his little VCP, somehow both curled up in his tiny toddler bed. It was such a sweet time.
As much as there really is nothing temporary about love, there is an absence that is felt when kids move on. And today, I'm feeling it. Today, I'm wishing I could share all these great jokes with Adam.
I miss him.
But...
I am missing the other kiddos - particularly Adam - so much, it's kind of ridiculous. There are reminders of him everywere. The picture he drew the first time he visited last December is still hanging on our fridge. The fact that the last time we watched him, he was all about learning jokes and I had to search my brain for the ones I'd liked at 7. Practically, the next day, I was eating a new brand of popsicle (thanks, heat wave!) and saw a hilarious joke on the stick. Every night, I've seen a new silly joke, and it makes my heart ache a little. The same way it does at smaller moments: like when I was channel surfing this morning and flipped passed Ninjago - which I had never even heard of prior to getting to know him - and Open Season 3 - which he insisted I watch. Memories are even inside our fridge. In the small stockpile of barbecue sauce that we collected when we realized he liked it...
I watched Lilo & Stitch earlier this week, too, for the first time since 2004, when I watched it with Meg - who I babysat when she was 8 - and the whole movie was full of memories of her. We watched the movie in her little brothers room, on his little VCP, somehow both curled up in his tiny toddler bed. It was such a sweet time.
As much as there really is nothing temporary about love, there is an absence that is felt when kids move on. And today, I'm feeling it. Today, I'm wishing I could share all these great jokes with Adam.
I miss him.