What Does Narcissism Have To Do With Me?
written for therealljidol 8.4 "What Does Narcissism Have To Do With Me?"
(For clarity, I will henceforth refer to my subconsciousness as The Fury...)
Him: I have one stipulation for going to rehab.
The Fury: Here we go...
Me: Okay... Which is what?
Him: I want a tattoo. Mr. Tatt lives really close and he gives me a really good deal!
The Fury: Because 12 billion is not enough, apparently...
Me: Do you think that's a good idea?
Him: Yeah, I do! Tattoos feel good to me!
The Fury: And that's obviously all that matters right now...
Me: Okay. I understand that. But what if you waited until you got out? Could you do that?
Him: That's 28 days away! And I really think if I don't do this now, I'll be much more argumentative and hostile about this whole thing. And I think I've been pretty cooperative through all this.
The Fury: Perhaps you forgot the ugly scene you made coming in...the manipulating you've done...and the total ass this has turned you into...Cooperative is not the word I would use to describe all of that.
Me: Well, have you talked to anybody there about it?
Him: Yeah, I have. I have a lot of friends here... So many people came to visit me last night. Nobody else got as many visitors as I did. I'm pretty much the most popular person here.
The Fury: Oh, dear Lord... This is not the place you want to make friends! Are you serious right now?
Me: And what do they say?
Him: They say if that's what I want to do, that's fine. Just not to tell So-and-So, because she's really strict.
The Fury: Of course they do...
Me: Okay...
Him: And Mr. Tatt's a really good guy! He lives really close. I could just walk there and back. It would be okay if family went with me. I want to get a tattoo of the lyrics either "..." or "......." from the song by Rapper and Other Rapper. It sounds depressing but it isn't because when it gets to the chorus it talks about world peace. You should download it.
The Fury: Well, that changes everything! By all means, if it talks about world peace, get the tattoo! Get scores of them! Cover your body in th--... Oh, wait. You already did that!
Me: Okay, I will.
The Fury: ...Not!
Him: Oh! Girlfriend the Enabler just called me! I just got a message!
The Fury: Perfect... That's exactly what you need. Someone else to coddle you and give into your ridiculous demands...
Me: Okay, well I should let you go, so you can call her back.
Him: When you talk to Girlfriend The Enabler, you tell her you're 100% on board with the tattoo idea.
The Fury: Like hell...
Me: I'm not telling her that, because I'm not on board with it. I'm not 100% against it, but I'm not sure about this and I want to do what's best for you.
Him: It is what's best for me! Tattoos are the way I express myself and get my emotions out.
The Fury: YOU ARE THE KING OF RIDICULOSITY AND I AM HANGING UP!
Me: I'm like, an artist - kind of - too. I get that. Let me know when more things happen and when you get your results from your tests.
*Actual conversation between Him and Me. Names, locations and identifying details have been changed or omitted for privacy reasons.
(For clarity, I will henceforth refer to my subconsciousness as The Fury...)
Him: I have one stipulation for going to rehab.
The Fury: Here we go...
Me: Okay... Which is what?
Him: I want a tattoo. Mr. Tatt lives really close and he gives me a really good deal!
The Fury: Because 12 billion is not enough, apparently...
Me: Do you think that's a good idea?
Him: Yeah, I do! Tattoos feel good to me!
The Fury: And that's obviously all that matters right now...
Me: Okay. I understand that. But what if you waited until you got out? Could you do that?
Him: That's 28 days away! And I really think if I don't do this now, I'll be much more argumentative and hostile about this whole thing. And I think I've been pretty cooperative through all this.
The Fury: Perhaps you forgot the ugly scene you made coming in...the manipulating you've done...and the total ass this has turned you into...Cooperative is not the word I would use to describe all of that.
Me: Well, have you talked to anybody there about it?
Him: Yeah, I have. I have a lot of friends here... So many people came to visit me last night. Nobody else got as many visitors as I did. I'm pretty much the most popular person here.
The Fury: Oh, dear Lord... This is not the place you want to make friends! Are you serious right now?
Me: And what do they say?
Him: They say if that's what I want to do, that's fine. Just not to tell So-and-So, because she's really strict.
The Fury: Of course they do...
Me: Okay...
Him: And Mr. Tatt's a really good guy! He lives really close. I could just walk there and back. It would be okay if family went with me. I want to get a tattoo of the lyrics either "..." or "......." from the song by Rapper and Other Rapper. It sounds depressing but it isn't because when it gets to the chorus it talks about world peace. You should download it.
The Fury: Well, that changes everything! By all means, if it talks about world peace, get the tattoo! Get scores of them! Cover your body in th--... Oh, wait. You already did that!
Me: Okay, I will.
The Fury: ...Not!
Him: Oh! Girlfriend the Enabler just called me! I just got a message!
The Fury: Perfect... That's exactly what you need. Someone else to coddle you and give into your ridiculous demands...
Me: Okay, well I should let you go, so you can call her back.
Him: When you talk to Girlfriend The Enabler, you tell her you're 100% on board with the tattoo idea.
The Fury: Like hell...
Me: I'm not telling her that, because I'm not on board with it. I'm not 100% against it, but I'm not sure about this and I want to do what's best for you.
Him: It is what's best for me! Tattoos are the way I express myself and get my emotions out.
The Fury: YOU ARE THE KING OF RIDICULOSITY AND I AM HANGING UP!
Me: I'm like, an artist - kind of - too. I get that. Let me know when more things happen and when you get your results from your tests.
*Actual conversation between Him and Me. Names, locations and identifying details have been changed or omitted for privacy reasons.