[personal] I'm Here Still
Well, I wanted to let you all know I still exist and all that jazz. Things have been kinda... well, stuff happens.
There's a bunch of uncertainty with the hubby's job -- if their biggest client goes and it really seems they will -- then the whole company might be over. But even if it's not, that job is literally killing the hubby. He never used to have high blood pressure but his doctor has already put his foot down once and made him take a few days off because it was reaching stroke levels and told him to actually take the full amount of tranxene he's prescribed in addition to the blood pressure meds he's on. The hubby didn't want me to worry because I get my meds only due to the health insurance he has through this job... the job that's killing him and may disappear anyway.
So he finally -- after a couple of months of intense dickishness due to stress -- told me what was going on with the client and that we might lose our health coverage in a couple of months (and he's known for months). I was able to partially relieve his worry by telling him the clinic I go to will work with me to some extent on cost. Also, the only reason I lost my disability the first time was because when he started this job, he made too much money so I stopped getting a check. No check = no health insurance (which was okay because we got insurance through his job) and after one year with no check, you're taken off disability entirely.
So... hopefully, it won't be too hard to get BACK on it. I go talk to my psychiatrist on the 7th. The hubby is taking the 5th, 6th, and 7th off to go job hunting for something more local (like the grocery store or whatever).
In the midst of all of this, we have a broken oven (stove works at least), a broken washing machine (but a working dryer on a circuit that occasionally trips due not to the dryer but the wires in the wall), and every time we deal with one vermin (the roaches are not completely gone but there's a whole lot less of them... and that might be due to the huge fuck-off rats) and it seems we'll be stuck in this house forever. Oh, and I took the car to Walmart to the place where they do oil changes and sell tires and told them the hubby said he thought there was a knot in one of the tires based on how it was driving but he didn't know which tire... and after they checked it, they told me it wasn't the tires and that I was going to have to take it to the shop because the hub assembly was something something something (can you tell I don't know cars?) so I did that.... and I guess the guys at Walmart are idiots because that guy said my back right tire had a knot and was CLEARLY VISIBLY dry rotted so either Walmart overlooked it or they didn't bother to check the back tires after not finding a knot on the front tires. So he sent me to the tire place they work with and I got a new tire.
But due to the car trouble, the hubby's boss / brother let him work from home this week and in addition to the massive amount of gas that's going to save, it's a hell of a lot less stressful for the hubby. I think... they are working really hard to not lose their client and all, but even if the client stays the job is still stressful as hell. It looks like it might be possible for the hubby to work at least a few days a week from home and that might make all the difference. We'll see. I'm really scared about the hubby's health and I'm really scared that if the job goes, though we might be able to keep sending me to see the psychiatrist we definitely can't afford thousands of dollars a month on my meds... so it's possible I'll have to change meds if the job goes and we aren't able to get me back on disability. I just don't know.
My sister is pregnant again and from my understanding is also having relationship troubles with her husband. My dad is having surgery on his lower back and wanted to fly me up to take care of him while he's convalescing but we couldn't work it with everything going on even if he pays for my ticket, so he'll have to just do his best when mom's at work. My uncle I haven't seen in 15 years died (cancer) which is very sad for my mom's side of the family also.
Not everything is doom and gloom. We have a friend who lives pretty close so he comes by on Fridays and Saturdays most of the time... which is great, but cuts into my prime writing time. I'm working-- or I would be if I had the time -- on a very complex and awesome project and it's 1/6th finished as long as you understand that not all of the 6 parts are the same length. My cat is just as sweet as ever, too. Soooo adorable.
On the plus side also is if the hubby is able to work from home or gets a job closer to home, I might be able to get the tutoring business together. The awesome thing about our friend who visits on the weekend is that he's involved with one of the school districts around here so he can possible connect me with people I need for doing that. I think if I donate my time to a few people at first, then I can use them later as references for business. Or something. We'll see.
Oh, and the birds have built a nest right outside our front door and the baby birds have hatched. You can't see into the nest very well but it's awesome. I love it when we have birds there.
In short.... life sometimes sucks but not always and I'm sorry I haven't been around or writing much.
There's a bunch of uncertainty with the hubby's job -- if their biggest client goes and it really seems they will -- then the whole company might be over. But even if it's not, that job is literally killing the hubby. He never used to have high blood pressure but his doctor has already put his foot down once and made him take a few days off because it was reaching stroke levels and told him to actually take the full amount of tranxene he's prescribed in addition to the blood pressure meds he's on. The hubby didn't want me to worry because I get my meds only due to the health insurance he has through this job... the job that's killing him and may disappear anyway.
So he finally -- after a couple of months of intense dickishness due to stress -- told me what was going on with the client and that we might lose our health coverage in a couple of months (and he's known for months). I was able to partially relieve his worry by telling him the clinic I go to will work with me to some extent on cost. Also, the only reason I lost my disability the first time was because when he started this job, he made too much money so I stopped getting a check. No check = no health insurance (which was okay because we got insurance through his job) and after one year with no check, you're taken off disability entirely.
So... hopefully, it won't be too hard to get BACK on it. I go talk to my psychiatrist on the 7th. The hubby is taking the 5th, 6th, and 7th off to go job hunting for something more local (like the grocery store or whatever).
In the midst of all of this, we have a broken oven (stove works at least), a broken washing machine (but a working dryer on a circuit that occasionally trips due not to the dryer but the wires in the wall), and every time we deal with one vermin (the roaches are not completely gone but there's a whole lot less of them... and that might be due to the huge fuck-off rats) and it seems we'll be stuck in this house forever. Oh, and I took the car to Walmart to the place where they do oil changes and sell tires and told them the hubby said he thought there was a knot in one of the tires based on how it was driving but he didn't know which tire... and after they checked it, they told me it wasn't the tires and that I was going to have to take it to the shop because the hub assembly was something something something (can you tell I don't know cars?) so I did that.... and I guess the guys at Walmart are idiots because that guy said my back right tire had a knot and was CLEARLY VISIBLY dry rotted so either Walmart overlooked it or they didn't bother to check the back tires after not finding a knot on the front tires. So he sent me to the tire place they work with and I got a new tire.
But due to the car trouble, the hubby's boss / brother let him work from home this week and in addition to the massive amount of gas that's going to save, it's a hell of a lot less stressful for the hubby. I think... they are working really hard to not lose their client and all, but even if the client stays the job is still stressful as hell. It looks like it might be possible for the hubby to work at least a few days a week from home and that might make all the difference. We'll see. I'm really scared about the hubby's health and I'm really scared that if the job goes, though we might be able to keep sending me to see the psychiatrist we definitely can't afford thousands of dollars a month on my meds... so it's possible I'll have to change meds if the job goes and we aren't able to get me back on disability. I just don't know.
My sister is pregnant again and from my understanding is also having relationship troubles with her husband. My dad is having surgery on his lower back and wanted to fly me up to take care of him while he's convalescing but we couldn't work it with everything going on even if he pays for my ticket, so he'll have to just do his best when mom's at work. My uncle I haven't seen in 15 years died (cancer) which is very sad for my mom's side of the family also.
Not everything is doom and gloom. We have a friend who lives pretty close so he comes by on Fridays and Saturdays most of the time... which is great, but cuts into my prime writing time. I'm working-- or I would be if I had the time -- on a very complex and awesome project and it's 1/6th finished as long as you understand that not all of the 6 parts are the same length. My cat is just as sweet as ever, too. Soooo adorable.
On the plus side also is if the hubby is able to work from home or gets a job closer to home, I might be able to get the tutoring business together. The awesome thing about our friend who visits on the weekend is that he's involved with one of the school districts around here so he can possible connect me with people I need for doing that. I think if I donate my time to a few people at first, then I can use them later as references for business. Or something. We'll see.
Oh, and the birds have built a nest right outside our front door and the baby birds have hatched. You can't see into the nest very well but it's awesome. I love it when we have birds there.
In short.... life sometimes sucks but not always and I'm sorry I haven't been around or writing much.