(no subject)
I feel sad. Actually, I'm not quite sure that it's sadness that I feel. I wake up in the mornings and I have this lingering sense that i'm missing out on something, on what I'm not quite sure. This wierd gap between the start of school and the end of vactation has made me think about all the people I wanted to see more of over break, but didn't or not enough of. Even though, overall my vacation was pretty good, it was really good. It's just, going back to school makes me think about money constantly, or my lack there of. I hate thinking about money and how I need more of it. I don't want money to run my life, money has no real meaning, it's the importance people place behind the money. But, despite how much I want to believe that money has no real significance in my life, it does. I am not exempt from the harsh reality that I need money to get by, and so does everyone else. Bummer, right? Money, is the strongest form of social control that everyone has to accept to actually have a chance at life. And, I'm not saying that the more money one has the better of we are in life, in a sense. Even though, it always seems so. One could argue that the more money one has, the more opportunities are available. And, that is truth. Hell, if I was rich I would be traveling the world right now, and taking my friends with me. I could pay off my school loans easy, and have no trouble getting a place to stay and live comfortably. Is'nt that what everyone wants, stability? Sometimes, the realities of what it actually means to live on planet Earth, are hard to accept. It constantly makes me wonder, how did everything get this way? This quesition in itself throughout my life has caused me to feel many things, confusion, anger, sadness, fustration, the list goes on and on. Looking back, I can see now that, I could question the exsistense of man and the nature of man till the day I die without getting a solid answer. But, thats okay. In life, I am never going to know or understand everything. That does not mean I will never question, because everyone must always question everything, it's asking the right questions that is most important.