Wow i messed up
Remember when i said i was wondering what Jesrey would do if i ever cheated on him? Well... i found out...
heres the whole story
So saturday night i had to work, but i really wanted to see amber so we worked it out that i'd pick her up after work and she'd stay at my house. Well she called me and asked me to come over to where she was staying (Mitch's house) to hang out with her during the day so I went.
Earlier that morning i thought i was gonna have to work, so jersey came over around 7 15 to wake me up before he went to work. We had great sex and i wish he could wake me up that way every morning-- Id be in a better mood at school ! :)
My mom called later and told me i didnt have to work so i went to see amber
Well we hung out with kevin and mitch at mitch's house and it was a lot of fun. But i kept getting this weird feeling from mitch but i just figured i was being dumb and paranoid and egotistical and all.
While we were hanging out, kevin and amber decided that they'd go home monday, not sunday. So Mitch invited me to stay the night with them at his house, and amber could stay with me on sunday night. He said we'd be drinking and it would be fun and it sounded cool so i said OKAY!
After work, i brought pizza home for the 3 of them and we chilled, drank a lil bit and watched movies. I was trying to find a way to see jersey that night but if i left, i'd ahve no place to crash and i was SOOO tired i wasnt up for an all nighter. Neither was jersey.
So i stayed at mitch's and me and amber were in his bed and i fell asleep, and i woke up once or twice, but for the most part, i was passed out. I woke up around 11 ish an amber wasnt there but i felt someone gettinginto the bed and i didnt really care or notice. But it was mitch and he layed next to me and put his arm around me. And i didnt realy know who he was, it was just nice to be next to someone. I started rubbing his head/hair with my fingers and i remember thinking "jersey doesnt have long hair...." and then mitch moved up and kissed me... and well, one thing led to another and...
yeah, I felt SO bad, because i really really care about jersey. And i called brittney the next morning and asked her what i should do. then i called jersey and had him meet me after church at starbucks and i told him. Long story short, he forgave me. i am lucky as hell.
BUT.... i feel weird, because i really really like jersey and i care about him, and i'm sorry about what i did, but i dont really regret it. if i went b ack in time, id prolly do it again. And i dont think thats right...
I LOVe sex with dan, and out of everyone i've been with, he's the best. Mitch, he's better than everyone else EXCEPT jersey. And i liked it, because he actuAlly slept with me. like afterwards, he still was holding me when i went to sleep, and each time i woke up, i was still in his arms. And i know it was wrong, considering we messed around then stopped, did some more, went to sleep woke up did more, went to sleep woke up, did more... etc. until 8 am. and we jsut cuddled til 9. and he gave me a massage too :) that was good.
And i mean the sex with mitch was good, it felt good, better than troy and ryan and matt and david and kyle... But sex with jersey is just better. Because he's the first ive been with that i actually care about. I mean, i never really saw the difference between sex with any dude and sex with some one you care about. Now i REALLy do.
That and i learned that getting eaten u=out actually feels kinda good... and im hopin to try that again sometime soon.
i know its wrong that i dont regret it. i just loved having someone actually sleep next to me, i can never get that from jersey, mostly cuz we never get to stay wiht eachother, but still. I'm weak, i couldnt help it. and his kisses were sweet and soft and loving, like jersey's... GAH WHATS WRONG WIH ME! i mean hes a great guy and hes nice and all, and amber was like MAN if i didnt have kevin, id definitely condiser mitchs. hes got money, hes cute, etc. And i see her points and if things didnt work with jersey and i had the chance, id maybe consider him too.
But i'd never give up jersey for him. Never.
I am really really sorry cuz i care about jersey i love him and i never wanna hurt him, and im SO glad he forgave me and everything is okay now,
It was just so odd that i had the thought about what would happen if i cheated, and then i found out... gosh everything is SO WEIRD!
heres the whole story
So saturday night i had to work, but i really wanted to see amber so we worked it out that i'd pick her up after work and she'd stay at my house. Well she called me and asked me to come over to where she was staying (Mitch's house) to hang out with her during the day so I went.
Earlier that morning i thought i was gonna have to work, so jersey came over around 7 15 to wake me up before he went to work. We had great sex and i wish he could wake me up that way every morning-- Id be in a better mood at school ! :)
My mom called later and told me i didnt have to work so i went to see amber
Well we hung out with kevin and mitch at mitch's house and it was a lot of fun. But i kept getting this weird feeling from mitch but i just figured i was being dumb and paranoid and egotistical and all.
While we were hanging out, kevin and amber decided that they'd go home monday, not sunday. So Mitch invited me to stay the night with them at his house, and amber could stay with me on sunday night. He said we'd be drinking and it would be fun and it sounded cool so i said OKAY!
After work, i brought pizza home for the 3 of them and we chilled, drank a lil bit and watched movies. I was trying to find a way to see jersey that night but if i left, i'd ahve no place to crash and i was SOOO tired i wasnt up for an all nighter. Neither was jersey.
So i stayed at mitch's and me and amber were in his bed and i fell asleep, and i woke up once or twice, but for the most part, i was passed out. I woke up around 11 ish an amber wasnt there but i felt someone gettinginto the bed and i didnt really care or notice. But it was mitch and he layed next to me and put his arm around me. And i didnt realy know who he was, it was just nice to be next to someone. I started rubbing his head/hair with my fingers and i remember thinking "jersey doesnt have long hair...." and then mitch moved up and kissed me... and well, one thing led to another and...
yeah, I felt SO bad, because i really really care about jersey. And i called brittney the next morning and asked her what i should do. then i called jersey and had him meet me after church at starbucks and i told him. Long story short, he forgave me. i am lucky as hell.
BUT.... i feel weird, because i really really like jersey and i care about him, and i'm sorry about what i did, but i dont really regret it. if i went b ack in time, id prolly do it again. And i dont think thats right...
I LOVe sex with dan, and out of everyone i've been with, he's the best. Mitch, he's better than everyone else EXCEPT jersey. And i liked it, because he actuAlly slept with me. like afterwards, he still was holding me when i went to sleep, and each time i woke up, i was still in his arms. And i know it was wrong, considering we messed around then stopped, did some more, went to sleep woke up did more, went to sleep woke up, did more... etc. until 8 am. and we jsut cuddled til 9. and he gave me a massage too :) that was good.
And i mean the sex with mitch was good, it felt good, better than troy and ryan and matt and david and kyle... But sex with jersey is just better. Because he's the first ive been with that i actually care about. I mean, i never really saw the difference between sex with any dude and sex with some one you care about. Now i REALLy do.
That and i learned that getting eaten u=out actually feels kinda good... and im hopin to try that again sometime soon.
i know its wrong that i dont regret it. i just loved having someone actually sleep next to me, i can never get that from jersey, mostly cuz we never get to stay wiht eachother, but still. I'm weak, i couldnt help it. and his kisses were sweet and soft and loving, like jersey's... GAH WHATS WRONG WIH ME! i mean hes a great guy and hes nice and all, and amber was like MAN if i didnt have kevin, id definitely condiser mitchs. hes got money, hes cute, etc. And i see her points and if things didnt work with jersey and i had the chance, id maybe consider him too.
But i'd never give up jersey for him. Never.
I am really really sorry cuz i care about jersey i love him and i never wanna hurt him, and im SO glad he forgave me and everything is okay now,
It was just so odd that i had the thought about what would happen if i cheated, and then i found out... gosh everything is SO WEIRD!