I honestly don't care if anyone reads my journal anymore, I am still going to express how I feel.
Yesterday was possibly the worst day of my life. My boyfriend of 10 months broke up with me for extremely stupid reasons. All I did was phone him to see how he was and if he was coming over and then he snapped and said that he was sick of me... and that he lied about the day before and said he was sick so he could hang out with his friends instead of me.
Actually, I could see this coming from about 3 weeks ago. I felt that he was replacing me with his friends... It actually really, really hurt. He wanted to spend less time with me and more and more with his friends. He also stopped contacting me on Facebook, MSN, through text messages and phone calls.
I expressed how I felt about this whole situation to him and he accused me of being too clingy and also said I was a burden.
I cried about three times infront of him in the last 3 weeks, but all he did was say how much of a burden I was.
To be completely honest, we have been through some really, really hard times. And we'd always get through them. I admit that I hurt him many times. I lied to him about my age, my schooling, and the medication I take because it was so hard being honest with someone that isn't very understanding and too immature to handle mature, ADULT topics.
He really showed that he cared about me when we were together, but the last few weeks I felt that we were drifting apart. I felt so sad when I realized that he was spending so much time with his friends and barely spending time with me. I felt that he didn't want anything to do with me.
When we got along, we had a lot of fun... but ever since he went to this party and ditched me (we had plans that day), he kept wanting to drink and party with his friends and barely even knowledge my existance.
I have no idea why I even care about this whole situation. I have never been so hurt in my life. And when he broke up with me, he didn't even seen to care.
He thinks I am too jealous, possessive and I call him too much. I call him once a day to see how he is and if he wants to hang out with me. Isn't part of being in a relationship communication?
I have been through so much with him. I never cared for someone so much in my whole life. I had other boyfriends/girlfriends... but I have never been in love with any of my exe's.
He is the first person I ever fell in love with and now this hurts so much and I honestly don't know if I can get over this.
I miss all the fun times we had together and all our inside jokes and all the adventures we had when we'd travel together and explore the city together. I miss everything except for him being too immature to realize that if a relationship has a rough patch, you have to try to fix it, not run away from it. I know we had a lot of bumpy parts of our relationship, but we always tried to work things out no matter how hard things were. We had former friends start lies about me and try to tear us apart, but then he'd choose me over a life long friend. When we broke up before, my mom phoned the cops on him because of reasons I choose not to explain. But still, we realized how much we loved each other and tried to make things work. I lied to him a lot and I really regret it, but it was hard to be honest with him because he was very judgemental of how mental illness works and too immature to handle the situation.
He knew that he cared about me and loved me, but ever since he started ditching me to hang out with his friends all the time and never contacting me, I felt completely lost and scared.
I know I am not perfect and I've done things that hurt him... but I don't even think he realizes how hurt that I am by never being contacting or shown that I am cared about... Like wouldn't you want your boyfriend to phone you to see how you are doing?
I so sad and angry and frustrated now. I honestly have no idea how I am going to get over this. I know people say that you will always love your first love, but I wish I didn't feel so hurt.
My best friend Stacey agrees that he should have tried to communicate with me more and if he truly loved me that he would try to change and meet me half way. He is three years younger than me so Stacey believes he is too immature to realize the problems that he is causing and that he will really, really regret what he did.
I just hope I stop missing him and stop feeling anything for him.
I honestly thought we'd work through this rough patch, but I don't think he wanted me anyway. I think he wanted to drink and party with his friends and not spend time with me.
I just want to stop feeling anything.
Actually, I could see this coming from about 3 weeks ago. I felt that he was replacing me with his friends... It actually really, really hurt. He wanted to spend less time with me and more and more with his friends. He also stopped contacting me on Facebook, MSN, through text messages and phone calls.
I expressed how I felt about this whole situation to him and he accused me of being too clingy and also said I was a burden.
I cried about three times infront of him in the last 3 weeks, but all he did was say how much of a burden I was.
To be completely honest, we have been through some really, really hard times. And we'd always get through them. I admit that I hurt him many times. I lied to him about my age, my schooling, and the medication I take because it was so hard being honest with someone that isn't very understanding and too immature to handle mature, ADULT topics.
He really showed that he cared about me when we were together, but the last few weeks I felt that we were drifting apart. I felt so sad when I realized that he was spending so much time with his friends and barely spending time with me. I felt that he didn't want anything to do with me.
When we got along, we had a lot of fun... but ever since he went to this party and ditched me (we had plans that day), he kept wanting to drink and party with his friends and barely even knowledge my existance.
I have no idea why I even care about this whole situation. I have never been so hurt in my life. And when he broke up with me, he didn't even seen to care.
He thinks I am too jealous, possessive and I call him too much. I call him once a day to see how he is and if he wants to hang out with me. Isn't part of being in a relationship communication?
I have been through so much with him. I never cared for someone so much in my whole life. I had other boyfriends/girlfriends... but I have never been in love with any of my exe's.
He is the first person I ever fell in love with and now this hurts so much and I honestly don't know if I can get over this.
I miss all the fun times we had together and all our inside jokes and all the adventures we had when we'd travel together and explore the city together. I miss everything except for him being too immature to realize that if a relationship has a rough patch, you have to try to fix it, not run away from it. I know we had a lot of bumpy parts of our relationship, but we always tried to work things out no matter how hard things were. We had former friends start lies about me and try to tear us apart, but then he'd choose me over a life long friend. When we broke up before, my mom phoned the cops on him because of reasons I choose not to explain. But still, we realized how much we loved each other and tried to make things work. I lied to him a lot and I really regret it, but it was hard to be honest with him because he was very judgemental of how mental illness works and too immature to handle the situation.
He knew that he cared about me and loved me, but ever since he started ditching me to hang out with his friends all the time and never contacting me, I felt completely lost and scared.
I know I am not perfect and I've done things that hurt him... but I don't even think he realizes how hurt that I am by never being contacting or shown that I am cared about... Like wouldn't you want your boyfriend to phone you to see how you are doing?
I so sad and angry and frustrated now. I honestly have no idea how I am going to get over this. I know people say that you will always love your first love, but I wish I didn't feel so hurt.
My best friend Stacey agrees that he should have tried to communicate with me more and if he truly loved me that he would try to change and meet me half way. He is three years younger than me so Stacey believes he is too immature to realize the problems that he is causing and that he will really, really regret what he did.
I just hope I stop missing him and stop feeling anything for him.
I honestly thought we'd work through this rough patch, but I don't think he wanted me anyway. I think he wanted to drink and party with his friends and not spend time with me.
I just want to stop feeling anything.