(no subject)
i studied french in high school because it was musical and interesting. it was also hard, but i felt the payoff was worthwhile. the french, as we all know, are fond of saying "c'est la vie." this literally means "it is (the) life." or, as frank liked to sing, "that's life!"
a simple phrase that sums up the nature of our existence. sometimes, no matter what we do or how hard we try or how much we beg/wail/cheer/moan/laugh/cry, we don't get what we want, when we want it, how we want it, and/or like we thought we should get it. i won't even go into my musings on the ego vs. the mind and how they are two very different things driving us towards different goals. the point is, life is bigger than us, and generally not in our control. not completely. "control what you can; plan for the rest." that's the phrase that got me through my last two years of college.
the past month or so was pretty bumpy for me. overall things were good; up close, they were stressful. i knew then, as i know now, that i was going to handle it better than i have in the past and i'm grateful for the experience of realizing i can handle things when they are bad. unfortunately that doesn't remove their emotional toll, and i find that only recently have i been feeling light hearted, cheerful and/or not stressed out. big ups, big downs - c'est la vie, n'est-ce pas?
i am profoundly grateful that the bumps ended on an upswing.
friends of mine that were hit hard by the economic downturn are finding work again. other friends are advancing in their careers. danny and i both still have work. in fact, i have an opportunity to work with a very large non-profit (i'll know more about that monday but it sounds like a wonderful chance to advance by business). we turned in our loan application and it's probably being debated as i type.
life is surging forward again.
i am working to resign myself to the current fact that my life isn't the life i imagined three years ago when i moved back up to the bay area. when i say resign, i don't mean in a negative way; i mean in an honest way. part of me has been holding out, hoping that the changes i truly want are just around the next corner; unfortunately that part of me is interfering with progress in a lot of other areas of life. funny, how holding out for progress actually impedes progress. sometimes all you can do is keep moving forward, even if it's not the way you want. it's been a... very hard lesson to absorb. but, i will have a mortgage soon, and a wedding to pay for, so it's time to get realistic and move forward in life actively and happily and the best way i know how. even if it's not the way i wanted.
that's life.
love kittie
a simple phrase that sums up the nature of our existence. sometimes, no matter what we do or how hard we try or how much we beg/wail/cheer/moan/laugh/cry, we don't get what we want, when we want it, how we want it, and/or like we thought we should get it. i won't even go into my musings on the ego vs. the mind and how they are two very different things driving us towards different goals. the point is, life is bigger than us, and generally not in our control. not completely. "control what you can; plan for the rest." that's the phrase that got me through my last two years of college.
the past month or so was pretty bumpy for me. overall things were good; up close, they were stressful. i knew then, as i know now, that i was going to handle it better than i have in the past and i'm grateful for the experience of realizing i can handle things when they are bad. unfortunately that doesn't remove their emotional toll, and i find that only recently have i been feeling light hearted, cheerful and/or not stressed out. big ups, big downs - c'est la vie, n'est-ce pas?
i am profoundly grateful that the bumps ended on an upswing.
friends of mine that were hit hard by the economic downturn are finding work again. other friends are advancing in their careers. danny and i both still have work. in fact, i have an opportunity to work with a very large non-profit (i'll know more about that monday but it sounds like a wonderful chance to advance by business). we turned in our loan application and it's probably being debated as i type.
life is surging forward again.
i am working to resign myself to the current fact that my life isn't the life i imagined three years ago when i moved back up to the bay area. when i say resign, i don't mean in a negative way; i mean in an honest way. part of me has been holding out, hoping that the changes i truly want are just around the next corner; unfortunately that part of me is interfering with progress in a lot of other areas of life. funny, how holding out for progress actually impedes progress. sometimes all you can do is keep moving forward, even if it's not the way you want. it's been a... very hard lesson to absorb. but, i will have a mortgage soon, and a wedding to pay for, so it's time to get realistic and move forward in life actively and happily and the best way i know how. even if it's not the way i wanted.
that's life.
love kittie