(no subject)
the icky feeling isn't completely gone, but instead of being everywhere, it's now just in my stomach, where i hold most of my anxiety. i think the reason it's hovering around is because i have a few unread emails from clients, just sitting there. waiting. like that laundry you walk past in the hallway, or the dishes sitting in the sink. you know you have to deal with it, even if it's not fun, and yet... you just keep passing it by.
today really turned around though. i went to the post office and had to wait in a nice long line, which was rather cathartic; i'd put off going for so long, i kind of felt like i deserved extra wait time. i got that crazy appointment booked, all the packages are shipped out, and i reached a compromise with my spastic client (working a few hours with her tomorrow evening). danny and i ran errands and were productive around the house; things were cleaned; i made quiche for the first time and it was amazing; we even got some WoW time in! and best of all, the potential client called me, and i booked time with her at my higher rate! yay new clientele!
i know i should read those emails, but i'm scared they'll contain criticism and/or disappointment, and even though it would be nice to get them out of the way, i can't deal with potential put-downs tonight. i know that's lame, and immature, but it's a weakness of mine and it's not easy at all to change. if i don't feel up to it tomorrow, i'll have danny read them and paraphrase. he's very wonderful at running interference.
and now i think i need to get to bed... today was a long day and i'm working a lot of hours tomorrow.
love kittie
today really turned around though. i went to the post office and had to wait in a nice long line, which was rather cathartic; i'd put off going for so long, i kind of felt like i deserved extra wait time. i got that crazy appointment booked, all the packages are shipped out, and i reached a compromise with my spastic client (working a few hours with her tomorrow evening). danny and i ran errands and were productive around the house; things were cleaned; i made quiche for the first time and it was amazing; we even got some WoW time in! and best of all, the potential client called me, and i booked time with her at my higher rate! yay new clientele!
i know i should read those emails, but i'm scared they'll contain criticism and/or disappointment, and even though it would be nice to get them out of the way, i can't deal with potential put-downs tonight. i know that's lame, and immature, but it's a weakness of mine and it's not easy at all to change. if i don't feel up to it tomorrow, i'll have danny read them and paraphrase. he's very wonderful at running interference.
and now i think i need to get to bed... today was a long day and i'm working a lot of hours tomorrow.
love kittie