A Rant.
I hate text messages.
Thats a lie actually, because I myself have been known to have entire 3 hour conversations via text message.
What I hate is that people feel the need to text at 3AM with useless information.
1)"OMG so fuckin' drunkkkkk."
What makes people think I care? Yes, I'm being a major hypocrite, because I have been known in the past to have drunk dialed people at 3am CONVINCED that they wanted to know what I was up to, but the way I will defend my actions is that more than likely they were drunk too, seeing as it was college and we were all 18. But now, at 25 years of age, I don't care. When its a Sunday night, and I'm tucked away having sweet dreams before the inevitable blazing ring of my alarm goes off and forces me to work at an ungodly hour, I MOST DEFINITELY don't care that you are drunk. Grow up, get a job, and get an intervention. STAT.
2)"What are you wearing?" (Usually sent by a drunken male that thinks that a smooth move like this entices the ladies.)
I'm wearing a beat up old, two-sizes-too-big "I <3 NY" t-shirt, and faded, washed-5000-times granny panties. There. Are you turned on now? Honestly, what do you think I'm wearing? "Oh yeah baby, I'm laying here in black lingerie, full-makeup and just had my hair blown-out. I've been waiting all night for this moment." Keep it real, buddy. It's 3AM. I've been in bed for hours. My hair gives Einstein a run for his money, I have my retainer in, and my skin is soaked in some sort of strange smelling tonic to keep my acne at bay. Ooh. Go to bed, masturbate, and call it a night.
3)"What are you up to?" (Again, this person is more than likely drunk.)
WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M DOING? Oh thats right, I'm in the middle of rearranging my closet by season. I'm finishing up "War & Peace." I'm just proofreading my Middle East Peace Plan. I'm writing the next great American rock opera. I've re-shingled the entire house, next I'm moving onto rewiring the kitchen. Ok, you got me there... I'm not rewiring the kitchen, I'm re-tiling both bathrooms! IT'S 3AM! I AM ASLEEP. Leave me alone! If I didn't talk to you all day, what makes you think I want to talk now??? Let alone via text message!!! With a the little BRINNGGGBRINNGGG sound it makes when I receive a new text! GO. TO. BED. Wash your face, pull on your jammies, close your eyes, and most importantly, SHUT OFF YOUR PHONE.
Now, I know what some people will say... "Just turn your phone off." But it's my alarm clock for work in the morning, my alarm when I have to take my medication, plus I have two sister who live far away from me, as well as the obvious that it's the only phone I have!
It's not as if I'm an old lady that doesn't stay out late and act silly and send ridiculous messages, but NOT AT 3 AM. I know that most people sleep when it's dark out and wake when its light out. I am NOT A VAMPIRE. I sleep! At night! Don't mess with me and my sleep!
So my new rules are...
1) I am a available for texting from the hours of 9AM until 11:30PM.
2) Please, if its an emergency, CALL.
3) If I break any of my own rules, you have every right to punch me in the ovary.
Thank you,
The Management
Thats a lie actually, because I myself have been known to have entire 3 hour conversations via text message.
What I hate is that people feel the need to text at 3AM with useless information.
1)"OMG so fuckin' drunkkkkk."
What makes people think I care? Yes, I'm being a major hypocrite, because I have been known in the past to have drunk dialed people at 3am CONVINCED that they wanted to know what I was up to, but the way I will defend my actions is that more than likely they were drunk too, seeing as it was college and we were all 18. But now, at 25 years of age, I don't care. When its a Sunday night, and I'm tucked away having sweet dreams before the inevitable blazing ring of my alarm goes off and forces me to work at an ungodly hour, I MOST DEFINITELY don't care that you are drunk. Grow up, get a job, and get an intervention. STAT.
2)"What are you wearing?" (Usually sent by a drunken male that thinks that a smooth move like this entices the ladies.)
I'm wearing a beat up old, two-sizes-too-big "I <3 NY" t-shirt, and faded, washed-5000-times granny panties. There. Are you turned on now? Honestly, what do you think I'm wearing? "Oh yeah baby, I'm laying here in black lingerie, full-makeup and just had my hair blown-out. I've been waiting all night for this moment." Keep it real, buddy. It's 3AM. I've been in bed for hours. My hair gives Einstein a run for his money, I have my retainer in, and my skin is soaked in some sort of strange smelling tonic to keep my acne at bay. Ooh. Go to bed, masturbate, and call it a night.
3)"What are you up to?" (Again, this person is more than likely drunk.)
WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M DOING? Oh thats right, I'm in the middle of rearranging my closet by season. I'm finishing up "War & Peace." I'm just proofreading my Middle East Peace Plan. I'm writing the next great American rock opera. I've re-shingled the entire house, next I'm moving onto rewiring the kitchen. Ok, you got me there... I'm not rewiring the kitchen, I'm re-tiling both bathrooms! IT'S 3AM! I AM ASLEEP. Leave me alone! If I didn't talk to you all day, what makes you think I want to talk now??? Let alone via text message!!! With a the little BRINNGGGBRINNGGG sound it makes when I receive a new text! GO. TO. BED. Wash your face, pull on your jammies, close your eyes, and most importantly, SHUT OFF YOUR PHONE.
Now, I know what some people will say... "Just turn your phone off." But it's my alarm clock for work in the morning, my alarm when I have to take my medication, plus I have two sister who live far away from me, as well as the obvious that it's the only phone I have!
It's not as if I'm an old lady that doesn't stay out late and act silly and send ridiculous messages, but NOT AT 3 AM. I know that most people sleep when it's dark out and wake when its light out. I am NOT A VAMPIRE. I sleep! At night! Don't mess with me and my sleep!
So my new rules are...
1) I am a available for texting from the hours of 9AM until 11:30PM.
2) Please, if its an emergency, CALL.
3) If I break any of my own rules, you have every right to punch me in the ovary.
Thank you,
The Management