another long entry sorry yall!!
first off i wanna thank ALL the people who commented in my last entry. yall seriously dont kno how much that meant to me to see that all of u took time and actually read the whole thing and gave advice! since i barely have anyone to talk to that meant alot.
so lemme tell you what happened...
after i wrote that entry last nite i texted charlie on hiz celly and told him that it really upset me that he didnt go to the hospital with me. he said he wanted to go. so i said if he really wanted to go that he should of went regardless. and he said that its fucked up how i make it seem like he dont do shit for the baby. im like okay whateva blah blah blah so to make a long story short he basically was NOT tryin to hear what i had to say or how i felt and ONCE AGAIN focused on how fucked up i am to him blah blah blah always thinkin bout himself. im so tired of his shit. i need a man who can understand his wifey instead of himself. SO ANYWAY we got off the phone and he said dont text me, dont call me, NADA. so basically we arent together. to tell you the truth when he hung up the phone..i cried and cried till the point where my stomach was startin to hurt. then i actually woke up and realize my poor baby is inside my stomach all tensed up in shit for what?! HER IGNORNAT FATHER? fuck that. thats when i stoped cryin. yall iz rite i need to think of my child before anything else. i kno charlie is readin this rite now and is prolly sayin damn all she does is talk shit bout me but ya know what? im only tellin the truth! IM NOT SAYIN CHARLIE IS BAD AND IM AN ANGEL cuz fuck no i aint no angel but i put up wit alot of shit jus like hes put up alot of shit wit me and u know what im actually tired of it all. i love him to death but im happier when i dont talk to him and thats the plain truth. yeah i fuckin miss him like crazy but i think i miss the old charlie more! idk who this charlie is but i dont like him AT ALL. anywho..so i think imma jus NOT talk to him TILL the baby shower which is july 3rd and see what goes down from there. its gonna be hella hard wit out my other half but i gotta do whateva is best in order to keep my baby out of stress. me goin threw pain in my stomach for a fuckin guy that wont listen to me is NOT GOOD. idk when he gonna wake up and realize that stress brings early labor? WTF. i hope things change once the baby is born.
on a better note..
we finished the babys room! its all painted and stuff now all that needs to be there is the crib, dresser, etc. i cant wait till all the furniture is there!! it lookz mad cute tho wit all the winnie the pooh stuff.
i took my 3 hour tests today and boy my back was hurtin! thank god i took it at home tho cuz if i was at skool i would have been dyin! it was mad hot today!! i think i did okay on my u.s. history regents but on the math one...HA! thats a whole other story. but im crossin my fingers and hopin for the best!
well imma bout to be out yall cuz my back iz achin from this computer chair. <33
god plz give me the strength to move on and be strong for me and my childs sake even though i still love my other half
so lemme tell you what happened...
after i wrote that entry last nite i texted charlie on hiz celly and told him that it really upset me that he didnt go to the hospital with me. he said he wanted to go. so i said if he really wanted to go that he should of went regardless. and he said that its fucked up how i make it seem like he dont do shit for the baby. im like okay whateva blah blah blah so to make a long story short he basically was NOT tryin to hear what i had to say or how i felt and ONCE AGAIN focused on how fucked up i am to him blah blah blah always thinkin bout himself. im so tired of his shit. i need a man who can understand his wifey instead of himself. SO ANYWAY we got off the phone and he said dont text me, dont call me, NADA. so basically we arent together. to tell you the truth when he hung up the phone..i cried and cried till the point where my stomach was startin to hurt. then i actually woke up and realize my poor baby is inside my stomach all tensed up in shit for what?! HER IGNORNAT FATHER? fuck that. thats when i stoped cryin. yall iz rite i need to think of my child before anything else. i kno charlie is readin this rite now and is prolly sayin damn all she does is talk shit bout me but ya know what? im only tellin the truth! IM NOT SAYIN CHARLIE IS BAD AND IM AN ANGEL cuz fuck no i aint no angel but i put up wit alot of shit jus like hes put up alot of shit wit me and u know what im actually tired of it all. i love him to death but im happier when i dont talk to him and thats the plain truth. yeah i fuckin miss him like crazy but i think i miss the old charlie more! idk who this charlie is but i dont like him AT ALL. anywho..so i think imma jus NOT talk to him TILL the baby shower which is july 3rd and see what goes down from there. its gonna be hella hard wit out my other half but i gotta do whateva is best in order to keep my baby out of stress. me goin threw pain in my stomach for a fuckin guy that wont listen to me is NOT GOOD. idk when he gonna wake up and realize that stress brings early labor? WTF. i hope things change once the baby is born.
on a better note..
we finished the babys room! its all painted and stuff now all that needs to be there is the crib, dresser, etc. i cant wait till all the furniture is there!! it lookz mad cute tho wit all the winnie the pooh stuff.
i took my 3 hour tests today and boy my back was hurtin! thank god i took it at home tho cuz if i was at skool i would have been dyin! it was mad hot today!! i think i did okay on my u.s. history regents but on the math one...HA! thats a whole other story. but im crossin my fingers and hopin for the best!
well imma bout to be out yall cuz my back iz achin from this computer chair. <33
god plz give me the strength to move on and be strong for me and my childs sake even though i still love my other half