Not much happening

[preist_anderson]

Just got back from Jordan's. Had a great D&D session. Everyone else was a little baked so it was interesting to see, though my clothes all smell like smoke. I'm having my friend Katie over on Tuesday. She's a friend from way back that I lost contact with but finally came back in contact with so I'm pretty excited. Hope's going to hate me for it. I partially understand why but I hate how stupid she can be sometimes. I still love her and miss her more than anyone. I guess that's why her being angry pisses me off so much. She's been here almost a week and I've only seen her for five minutes. This could be because my house smells like skunk right now, well it's pretty much gone except we need to clean the couch, butI'm not sure that's the only reason. Could be me just over thinking again because having her close and not seeing her is REALLY fucking with my head. I need her so badly and I'm depressed all day because I don't see her. I know, one person shouldn't affect me this much and she'll be here for another week so I shouldn't be so worried about it. Logically this all makes sense but I can't help being depressed. Another part of it is probably because I'm jealous of their friendship. They can just hang out for days and not be sick of eachother, as soon as Hope gets here she can't stand me. Usually if you're in a relationship like this you'd want to end it, not speak to the person ever to spare you some pain. Sometimes I think about it, I really think it's a great idea a lot of the time, but then I feel really empty. I can't stand how she treats me, and I'm not exactly the best person to be in a relationship with either, but I love her so much. All anyone sees from her are the times she treats me badly. She's a really great person and she can love very strongly. She's also really patient with me but I think she's sick of it now because I haven't changed. Just don't judge her on how she's been in the past or from what I say. I'm just very bitter because I haven't seen her.

I think I'm done with this now. I have to finish my AP English.